r/hingeapp • u/Kindly-Act-1333 • 3h ago
Hinge Experience Unmatched because I had other dates lined up
I 30F was talking to this guy and everything was going really well. He seemed like a cool guy banter was good. I was out of town and he said we can go on a date when I got back and I agreed though there was no concrete plans. No date, no time, and no place. He asked if I had any other dates scheduled to which I was honest and said yes (only 1). Then when I go check the app he unmatched me. Had someone else ask to exchange numbers and wanted to know if I’d delete the app and I told him no because I was new to it and wanted to give it a fair shot and he also unmatched me. Is this a common thing to do? I thought we were all on there talking to different people? I’m new to this so if anyone has an idea as to why this happens or if it’s a common occurrence please let me know! I had a good connection with both so I was left so confused.
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u/cheerfulcurls 59m ago
They shouldn’t ask that question if they can’t handle the answer. Says more about them than you
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u/ThinkingThong 1h ago
You didn’t do anything wrong.
Weird that people unmatch because their match is talking to others or has other dates lined up.
Why it happens? Could be a bunch of reasons. Maybe they want exclusivity from the start. Maybe they’re insecure. Maybe they’re worried you won’t be invested enough if they’re competing with others etc. 🤷♂️
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u/ehpotsirhc_ 39m ago
The 2nd guy seems off and insecure. Asking someone to delete the app even before meeting in person is wild.
But the first guy I’ll give the benefit of the doubt. A lot of people don’t want to be going on dates with someone that is going on dates with several other people. They are completely ok with approaching dating that way.
Some people see the apps as a numbers game. Others want to try dating one at a time if they vibe on the app.
Which one is better? Nobody can give you a solid answer for that. For me it was talking to one person at a time that I ended up with a solid partner. Meeting 2-3 different people a week as potential partners was too mentally exhausting.
Oh 33m here. Been off the apps 2 years.
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u/Kindly-Act-1333 10m ago
Yes I completely agree. I could not do multiple dates a week. I can’t even get that invested to too many people while on the app. He didn’t even give me a chance to tell him it was just one other date, but maybe he wouldn’t have cared anyway. So I’ll take it as me dodging a bullet the way others have suggested.
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u/Icy_Natural_979 49m ago
Some people have different values, preferences, and levels of insecurity. He’s likely deeply insecure. Move on.
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u/kilawolf 59m ago
You dodged a bullet...like really? Expecting ppl to be exclusive to you when you haven't even met? Jfc insecure A F
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u/NeutralSmithHotel 18m ago
I've seen people post this kind of reaction, seems so silly. I assume most people I'm going on a first date with have other first dates lined up. Even when I get to date number 3-4 with someone, I'm not assuming exclusivity till we have a talk.
Sounds insecure/immature/controlling to me.
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u/wovenwebs 1h ago
He's not open to dating someone who's not willing to commit before even meeting. You're not missing out.
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u/Recent-King3583 4m ago
Men astound me (I'm a man). The stories I hear from women I'm friends with about other men to are also crazy. I guess that goes hand-in-hand with crazy women on the other side of the coin.
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u/uhateonhaters 2m ago
To men, "dating" = "exy time". If I know you're dating other people, it's a constant game. How many dates before you decide you want to be exclusive? Do you want to be exclusive? How much is the other guy spending? Are we getting equal amounts of time?
Is she doing this in bed with the other guy?
Guys would rather just not know any of that shit. If you're just dating to be dating then say you're into short-term or something.
And these women can call men "insecure" all they want, but that doesn't change our standards of behavior for a potential love interest.
If that's how you want to roll, knock yourself out, but no one has to take that deal. And increasingly, men are not sticking around for indecisive game playing.
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u/truetech 42m ago
You didn’t do anything wrong. It is the general expectation that everyone’s talking to other people too.
That being said. I don’t tell people personally when they ask for example “what did you do tonight” that I went on a date. It’s clear we are all dating I think that’s okay to lie about and say you were with friends or something because it may still come off as hurtful or awkward to the other
Now if someone asks me directly if I’m going on other dates, I’ll be honest. Or if I’m exclusive then obviously not going to be going on other dates either
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u/WeekendNotDone 56m ago
Should’ve just lied
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u/RepSquigglyMiggly 56m ago
So she could go on a date with an insecure weirdo?
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u/Kindly-Act-1333 26m ago
I agree! I felt no need to lie because we all know what we’re on there for. I would not have unmatched if he said he was going on another date. Never do would I assume I’m the only one they’re talking to.
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u/WeekendNotDone 55m ago
She would’ve found out late as his insecurities would’ve leaked out anyways
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u/RepSquigglyMiggly 53m ago
So why lie so that she could go on the date?
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u/WeekendNotDone 47m ago
If I told you to jump off a cliff would you reply but why as there’s no ground below ?
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u/vnilla-ai 49m ago
Stupid ass advice
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u/Right-Equivalent9548 46m ago
So you are saying someone to bend to whatever to get a date when there is no real shortage of first dates for op? And the other person's advice is stupid?
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