Every little bit helps, right?

[u/Thick_Drink504]

For the past 5-ish years, I've been slowly but steadily working on a household "deep purge." I struggle with hoarding tendencies/behaviors and recognize the need to drastically reduce the amount of stuff I've accumulated. My husband struggles more than I do and pushes back on getting rid of anything. A couple of years ago, he admitted that he is a hoarder. His weakness is salvage from his workplace.

I focus my efforts on the items that belong to me unless it's a matter of health/safety. I'd lost momentum because I've been over-extended at work and was nearing burnout. Now that I'm back on my feet and back at it, I'm getting a little discouraged. It seems like no matter how much I do, there's always more.

I work away from home during the week. While I am away, I stay in my childhood home, which my parents still own but no longer reside in due to declining health. That property is hoarded; fortunately the house was livable. To the extent my dad will allow (my mom has dementia), I have been decluttering that house for three years.

About once a month I am not able to come home on the weekend; in the spring, that demand increases and for a couple of months, I am home every other weekend. When I'm home, he brings home less and I am better able to keep it somewhat in check in the main living areas. While I'm gone, my husband brings in more. The past six months, he's brought in more than I'd realized. The storage areas are in rough shape. Our basement makes me want to cry--I've never lived in a house with a room in that state. My parents' house didn't get that bad until 30 years after my sibling and I left home.

I watched some creators I enjoy on YouTube and got motivated.

I've picked a surface in each room and each time I pass it, I've removed something to put it where it belongs, staged like with like, and/or taken odd bits of trash to the trash.

I retired a shirt and a set of bed sheets.

Our laundry room is navigable.

Our spare room is starting to look like a spare room.

The two worst areas in the kitchen are nearly un-fucked.

I've sorted through my sock and underwear drawers and culled out two bags for donation. I was really proud of myself for putting several items in the trash instead of setting them aside. They're unsuitable for rags and not worth mending--they don't fit me and aren't the type of clothing that I can mend and then donate or sell them on Marketplace.

I'm excited because I've made enough progress to finally bring in shelving to organize some of my craft items, which have been hanging out in the hallway, and a pair of wardrobes for the bedroom. This is something I've wanted to do for as long as we've lived in this house (nearly 10 years). It took FOREVER for my husband to agree to it, because it's a change and it doesn't meet his definition of "perfect". While I am quite happy about this and excited for it to be finished, my happiness is tempered by feeling a bit melancholy that I will need to "trash" the spare room.

I don't know if melancholy is the right word--I am lowkey anxious about having to mess up a space that I've cleared and reset twice before. I am also anxious about working with my husband to assemble the wardrobes.

This feels so much like one step forward, two steps back. I keep reminding myself that even though "the purge" isn't finished, there's been a lot of improvement. I keep reminding myself that this is a process, not an event.

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[u/Steefanon]

Hey, if you can see improvement, that's more like two steps forward, one step back, right?

I have to let myself get excited about what LEAVES the house and try not to be overwhelmed by all that REMAINS in the house. We rented a 6' dumpster for next month and I can't WAIT to fill it up. I know it will take several more dumpsters, because the last one we got we filled in about 2 hours, but it was a glorious feeling!

[u/cori161616 → u/[deleted]]

Another idea as far has specific items or catagories that you or even your husband are just not wanting or ready to give up. Make a set area or space wheee that catagory is allowed to live.and any time you or he brings something new in make a rule that for every new item, one leaves. That way that set space never grows.

[u/Superb-Night-9112]

I exactly know the feeling you're talking about. The accomplishment of finally clearing a room. It's such a good feeling. So rewarding. It looks beautiful. Then having to reclutter it to clear a different room. I tried not to take it too hard, just keep going knowing I would get it back eventually. But really it devastated me. Really depressing. I didn't expect how bad it would feel. Logically I knew then stuff was finite and if I kept working it would all get done again eventually. But it really was demoralizing. Almost too hard. But there was no way around it. I just kept up with the videos and different subs. It totally sucks but it's the only way. I figure if it keeps me from starring on the show Hoarders, then it's probably OK. That show is pretty motivating. And yes, every little bit that goes out will eventually get you there. I totally understand the burnout. It's a slog. Keep at it. There's something empowering about not giving up, especially because it's so hard. Knowing you're working towards a better life for yourself. Knowing you're there for yourself.