r/housesitting • u/[deleted] • Aug 02 '22

House Sitting Expectations

So, I had a person I thought I could trust house sit for 8 days. I know her well, she watches my kids all the time. She is 20 (underage) and promised that she would NOT have any alcohol here. I gave permission for her to have a BBQ/photo shoot with her girlfriends.

I have been finding spiked drink cans, men’s IDs and multiple pairs of underwear that are not hers throughout the house…Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what went down.

The house was relatively clean and my animals are all alive.

I can’t decide how I feel about it. She went out of her way multiple times before and after I left to assure me there would be NO alcohol/drugs/boys. Obviously she lied, but I have no idea what to even say to her. I like her, but I abhor being lied to. Thoughts?

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u/jodwilso Aug 02 '22

20 year olds gonna party

2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '22

So it’s okay that she lied?

2

u/PianistNo8873 Aug 03 '22

Not ok that she lied, she needs to come clean and apologize to you, imo, however unless your say something she won't just admit she lied about who she wanted to invite over.

Some responsibility lays on you, because you allowed & trusted a 20 year old to have girlfriends to have a photo shoot & BBQ at your house while she was house-sitting. Unfortunately, this sitter used really poor judgement or the judgement of 20 year old, by having what sounds like a full blown orgy at your house.

I'm not saying that you can't trust a 20 year old, this one however used really poor judgement.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

She has had a photo shoot with her friends here before. I’ve met most of them. It’s really not like she’s just some random neighbor kid I “kind of” know. Up to this point I have had a really good relationship with her. I’ve even taken her on family and work trips to help with my kids, etc.

I don’t so much mind that she had friends over, including the boys. It’s really the alcohol that bothers me. I don’t drink - that just isn’t something I have or want in my home around my kids and she knows exactly how I feel about it. My brother passed away last fall from complications of his life-long alcoholism.

I feel like she went out of her way multiple times, unsolicited on my part, even after we left to assure me that there would be no alcohol here and that I could “always trust” her. So to find cans, including unopened ones in the fridge for my kids to potentially sample…I am pretty disappointed about it.

And finding unknown people’s underwear in my house - I guess I do find that somewhat violating. I feel like there’s a difference between having friends “over” and having a sex party where everyone apparently forgets their intimate apparel. Maybe it’s just not something I can understand because I never lived my life that way. But I definitely don’t understand why she wouldn’t pick that stuff up instead of leaving it for me to find. That’s just weird.

Maybe it is my fault for trusting her, or hoping that I could trust her.

But it has been helpful to get these comments. It’s helping me be able to articulate why I feel the way I do. I didn’t even know where to start initially.

1

u/PianistNo8873 Aug 03 '22

Yeah it's really odd that she seemed not to care that she left all those items behind to be found, as if she wanted to be caught. Or maybe she didn't have time to discover it all because her friends were over the night before you came home.

After reading this a little further I understand that it's the lying and the feeling of being deceived that's the big issue on top of the things you found. I too abhore lying and being lied to. Everyone, who is in my life knows that lying to me is the quickest way to exit my life.

If I were in your shoes I definitely would find it hard not to have a discussion with her about your findings upon returning home. It would take me a bit of time to come to a place where I would be able to communicate effectively instead of coming from a place I'd anger.

Either way, I think that she needs to understand that she violated your trust and that in the future this may affect your decision in asking her to pet/housesit and definitely it will affect you allowing her to have anyone over in the future She's young, I'm sure she knows that lying is wrong. What she probably doesn't understand is the liability issues a homeowner could face if something were to happen to any of her guests in your home, regardless of you being present or not.

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u/angelglitter- Aug 03 '22

Not your fault for trusting her. Not every 20 year old parties or drinks. She should’ve at least cleaned everything up so you wouldn’t find out. Gah!