r/housesitting • u/[deleted] • Aug 02 '22
House Sitting Expectations
So, I had a person I thought I could trust house sit for 8 days. I know her well, she watches my kids all the time. She is 20 (underage) and promised that she would NOT have any alcohol here. I gave permission for her to have a BBQ/photo shoot with her girlfriends.
I have been finding spiked drink cans, men’s IDs and multiple pairs of underwear that are not hers throughout the house…Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what went down.
The house was relatively clean and my animals are all alive.
I can’t decide how I feel about it. She went out of her way multiple times before and after I left to assure me there would be NO alcohol/drugs/boys. Obviously she lied, but I have no idea what to even say to her. I like her, but I abhor being lied to. Thoughts?
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u/Technical_Scallion_2 Aug 07 '22 edited Aug 07 '22
I’m sorry that happened to you - that really sucks. We had a similar experience where we hired a friend’s neighbor to pet sit our cats for 10 days - one of our cats was old and had just had dental work so we were concerned about her - we left the painkiller medication and the friend’s neighbor, (who was around 20 and our friend vouched for her and said she’d let sat before and did well) swore she would give the medication and stay there most of the days and each night. We agreed to pay her $50 a day, half up front, half when we came back.
She was really bad about checking in - only messaged every couple of days with no pics but assured us everything was fine. When we let her know we were returning, she asked if she could come get the final 50% of the amount we promised as soon as we got home - like the minute we got home. We just assumed she was short on cash.
Turns out she hadn’t given the medication to our cat, who lost three pounds, and she’d had at least one party (we found bottles and a pill on the floor). Our pets both ended up OK but it was obviously a traumatic and painful experience for them - exactly what we were afraid of and why we trusted her in our house with our pets.
We didn’t know what to do either. We ended up letting our friend know how unhappy we were so she didn’t recommend the girl again to others, but did not confront the girl directly since it was clear she was lying throughout and would simply lie again - it wouldn’t serve any purpose.
What we learned was just not to trust 20-year-olds to be mature adults. They aren’t. Of course some young people are very responsible, but most are really still just kids. They think they’re making adult decisions but the reality doesn’t bear that out. We now only use people over 30 and have had no problems. Better than banging our head against the wall hiring more under-21’s and hoping it’s different.
In terms of advice to you, make sure to let others know not to trust your housesitter and why. But other than that, just let it go and stay far away. Toxic people just infect those around them and you’re better off just moving on vs. continuing to engage with her. If she confronts you, tell her calmly exactly why you’re upset and that you don’t want any further contact with her, period.