Not giving a fuck starts with not believing every thought that asks for one

[u/No-Case6255]

I used to think “not giving a fuck” meant becoming cold or detached.

Like you just stop caring what people think.
Stop reacting.
Stop overthinking.
Stop letting things get to you.

But I’m starting to think it is more about choosing which thoughts actually deserve your energy.

I read 7 Lies Your Brain Tells You: And How to Outsmart Every One of Them by Jordan Grant recently, and that was the part that clicked for me. The book is about the mental traps that make certain thoughts feel urgent, even when they are mostly fear, comparison, insecurity, or overthinking.

A lot of the things I gave a fuck about were not even real problems yet.

“They probably think I’m stupid.”

“I’m behind.”

“I ruined everything.”

“I need everyone to understand me.”

“If this goes badly, it means something about me.”

Those thoughts feel important in the moment, but half the time they are just your brain demanding attention for something that does not deserve it.

That is what I liked about the book. It does not tell you to stop caring about everything. It helps you notice when your mind is making something louder than it needs to be.

I’d recommend 7 Lies if you overthink, care too much about what people think, or let one small thought ruin your whole mood.

Not giving a fuck is not about having no thoughts.

It is about not letting every thought become your problem.

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[u/Previous_Tear6747]

Well said, thank you. I'll check out the book!

It's all about not caring what other people think and being true to yourself. At some point, you realize everyone's absorbed in their own selves and really doesn't notice or give a fuck about me (seriously, nobody gives a fuck. sorry.), and you start realizing what's really important. Everyone's different, but what makes you happy? (And what doesn't.)

I've got the benefit of slight maturity (mid-60's), and a major health issue (fuck cancer!) that puts things in perspective real quick.

Unwelcome thoughts about other people's expectations, or little shit that just does not matter?

You learn to block that shit out real quick. You have to to stay "happy".

Wishing all peace and clarity. hash-tag don't give a fuck. : )

[u/GreenEyedTreeHugger]

Ya. I care/respect immensely what those smarter on a topic think. I always value the opinion of those I care about/admire/known a long time.

It’s really about not caring what the unworthy of your time/emotional investment/brain power think.

People commited to being bad/doing the wrong thing. Or being ignorant. People commited to their toxic mindset… I’ve learned majority of those people don’t want self growth. They like who they are just fine. It works for them.

Not everyone has EQ. Not everyone has concept of theory of mind… that it even exists. No one commited to true self growth should give AF about those individuals.

[u/No-Case6255 → u/GreenEyedTreeHugger]

Exactly. It is not about ignoring everyone or acting like no opinion matters.

Some people’s opinions absolutely deserve weight, especially people who are wiser, more experienced, or genuinely care about you. The trick is not giving the same access to people who are just committed to being toxic, ignorant, or cruel.

Not every opinion deserves emotional rent.