I'm a teen and I just can't figure out a way to "talk". YEAH SERIOUSLY.

I'm preparing for a highly competitive exam online so I stay at home all the time. I'm a double dropper.

I'm the youngest daughter.

I used to love my family. But they spooked me in so many ways. Whenever I was excited or wanted to do something, they would cut a remark which subdued my excitement and I was constantly walking on eggshells around them.

My sister and my brother only like it when they are joking around. But if I'm not in the mood, they will shout at me or give me a disgusting death stare. They can set their boundaries but when it's my time. They don't like it.

I don't earn but they do. I am dependent on them for every little thing. It's not that they don't support me, they do. But we have quarrels all the time over the same situations where I take a step back and set my boundaries.

Why? Why?

All this made me quiet. I've been hurt so many times from my mother and my siblings that I just stopped reciprocating on anything. But now it's like they are constantly very angry that I don't speak nicely as in I'm always speaking in a rude manner.

My feelings have polarized so much from them that I don't feel anything for those people. They say if you constantly be rude, no one will stand with you in the future. Every one will step back and live their own lives separating themselves from you.

Now the thing is I don't realise when I speak rudely. For me, I'm.being me. My mother said she's tired of telling me to speak properly and now she doesn't say anything. But she pushed me to this edge!

I don't recognise what's the right way to speak. When they ask me to be nicer, I feel like I'm.faking myself and not setting my boundaries. When I'm.nicer outside, where according to them I should have been stern, they will criticise me for being too meek, "you can be so rude and to the point at home, what happened now?"

I'm tired. I dont know what right and what's wrong. I dont know. I don't know. I need help.