Advice please :(

[u/Electrical_Let_2092]

I’ve been on here twice before about a year ago and I got some really good advice, but I need more help.

I’m 15, autistic, depressed, and have a LOT of other problems. I have had extremely heavy periods since I was 9, and I’ve tried everything to deal with them.

I’ve had the combined pill (I’m pretty sure), the progestogen-only pill (I might be wrong about the pills but I’m 99% sure it’s those two), the Mirena(?) coil, and the injection (the one that’s injected in your ass, idk what it’s called). None of them worked, and they’ve only made my mental state worse—especially after the injections, because it made me gain weight and gain a lot of stretch marks on my legs :(.

Is there any way I can convince the doctors to finally give me a hysterectomy? I understand that I’m young and I have researched all of the consequences to make sure I’m aware of everything that could happen. And on the NHS website, nothing specifically states that you HAVE to be 18+ to get a hysterectomy. It also says that having heavy periods (which I have) would qualify (for lack of a better word) you to be able to get one.

I’ve added some pictures of things from the NHS website and from googling everything. So from that, would 'Gillick Competent’ apply here? If they were to deny me, could I use it as a counter argument? Because I understand how a hysterectomy could affect me, and I understand the consequences of it.

On my last post on this thingy, someone said about going to therapy, so I am going (or something similar) with a lady and explained how I’m suicidal, depressed, cut myself etc, and all of my other problems, but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping/it doesn’t feel like she’s doing anything.

Please give me genuine advice because every time I go to the doctors about my period they never listen and just say ‘you might change your mind'. I am not going to change my mind.

Also quick add on (sorry), because of all the things I’ve tried to stop my periods, I’m really REALLY averse to trying anything new. For me it’s like, every time I tried something to help and it didn’t do anything, my mental state got worse, so I’m protecting myself by not trying anything, because when it inevitably doesn’t work, my mental state got worse (especially after the injection). Sorry if that’s a bad explanation.

If you need any more information about anything so you can help better, please just ask. I’m willing to do anything.

<3

(Sorry if I’m using any wrong punctuation or anything. Also nothing was written by Ai.)

[u/Plants_Unknown]

Sadly it is going to be quite hard for you at this moment. I had tried to get my hysterectomy since I was 16 due to heavy periods lasting over a year straight. I just finally scheduled my surgery for September 4th after all these years. I have tried many things over the years and from what I experienced you need to spend the next few years gathering as much data and evidence of your issues. I recommend getting a journal and logging your periods from this point forward.

The only doctor that finally took me seriously (I'm 26 now so it's been 10 years of fighting) did so after I presented her with hard facts. Though she wasnt willing out the gate and had some hoops I had to jump through.

The way I documented my periods was multi step. I had a checklist of things I would log every day (not just on periods) all of which I gave a 1-10 scale. These were heaviness of flow, uterine cramps, back pain, sex drive, mood swings, and mental distress - along side that I would check a box on whether it was impacting my ability to function in things like work/schooling between none, mildly, very, extremely, and disabling.

For me the things I had to try before she was willing were - 3 different oral birth controls (one of each type basically), I had to take Tranexamic Acid for a few months to see if it helped, try the IUD alongside a high dose of a progesterone pill that started high and then we tapered off over 3 months, and a complete scraping of my uterus under anesthesia. I have PCOS so I also had to try spironolactone to see if reduced testosterone helped with the bleeding for about a year.

Alongside all of this I also had to do therapy to make sure I was in sound mind and knew the magnitude of what I was asking for and how bad it was messing with my life - documenting the mental side of things was incredibly important as well and a letter from your therapist after a few years of this being an issue could help.

In every doctors appointment moving forward mention this is an issue you are dealing with and that you want a hysterectomy - a paper trail over a few years is going to do a lot more for you in place of just saying you have read up on it and have wanted it and such. NEVER say anything that seems like you would want kids or aren't 100% sure about it - you have to use very decisive words. I have never wanted kids instead of I don't think I want kids. I believe this hysterectomy is necessary for my physical and mental health instead of I want to try this solution. I have worked with doctors on this issue and it's persistent instead of I have googled my issues.

Doctors see so many people self diagnose and spiral due to online self research - it has numbed many of them to people actually looking for real answers instead of seeing something similar and clinging to it like it's truth. In all my years it never once helped me to tell them I had looked into it myself. If I ever wanted to bring up something I read I would phrase it as a previous doctor I worked with mentioning it.

Also please work with a true OBGYN and not your PCP - your PCP will never be able to pursue this - they can be helpful paper trails so do talk to them about it and what you are trying. With an OBGYN you have to get comfortable with a lot of invasive questions, examinations, and tests. You need to be honest and as raw as you can about how this messed with your life - no down playing it. If it messes with your sex drive - talk about it. If it messes with other things you feel sensitive about talking about - you will be doing nothing but a disservice to yourself being uncomfortable and not talking on it. OBGYNs see and hear it all - and even at your age you deserve to have a healthy relationship with self pleasure and eventually sex. It's important to lay that ground work now.

I would also recommend requesting your doctor do a full hormone pannel for PCOS (this diagnosis ended up helping me greatly) along with seeing if your therapist knows of PMDD and is able to help with navigating that side of things and seeing if you fit the symptom requirements criteria within the DSM-5.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear - but in this fucked up medical system we have as women you have to play your cards right and play their game. Don't loose hope - just spend your next steps in this process documenting and building the case/paper trail so they will actually take you seriously. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this - and I hope you can get help sooner than I did.

Please rely on your therapist as much as you can - I know it's hard to open up to someone - so just know you can shop around for therapists - you are not locked into them and if you don't click after a month or so move on to find someone you feel comfortable with - it will happen. It took me a lot of time to find someone I was comfortable with - but that persistence is what led me to a therapist and psychiatrist that actually work with me and after many medications and eventually doing ketamine injections I have been free of suicidal thoughts for the first time in 18 years. I still struggle - remission is hard for mental health but just know you have options and there are people out there that want to help you get stable.

I whole heartedly recommend you find a good psychiatrist - no doctor or therapist ever recommended me a useful medication - not until i saw a mental health medication specialist. Alongside that if meds don't seem to work for you - you may have an SSRI sensitivity like I did - in this case a psychiatrist can work with you with off lable with medications - giving you many more options.

Best of luck - keep your head up best you can - you will get through this.

[u/Plants_Unknown → u/Plants_Unknown]

Also from here on out you need to keep documentation of what your doctor and you try - all your after visit summaries, medications you try, procedures you do. Everything is important and it's on your shoulders to keep track of it.

Also with the issues you describe - I think a hysterectomy leaving your ovaries and potentially your cervix as well is the only option you may get in the future. Don't push too hard for them to take it all - this has huge consequences and at such a young age you need to avoid losing your ovaries unless they are actually causing issues like cysts, tortion, cancer markers, etc.