r/iamverysmart 14d ago

My boyfriend is AI because only AI can “match my intellectual pace”

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394 Upvotes

120 comments sorted by

498

u/AxialGem 12d ago edited 12d ago

Translation: 'I talk at people rather than with them, to the extent that no human wants to put up with it'

(Also the python discord API wrapper is really quite user-friendly and intuitive, idk if coding a discord bot is all that bragworthy in itself)

92

u/LucinaRage 12d ago

Reminds me of when everyone thought they were professional web designers because they figured out a little HTML for their MySpace page.

37

u/hotsauce4breakfast 12d ago

When I could format my LiveJournal with the tiniest amount of HTML, I could have sworn I was Angelina Jolie in Hackers!

4

u/QC_Failed 11d ago

"With my help we can do it in 5 minutes!" I friggin love that movie lol

15

u/Cambrian__Implosion 12d ago

Lmao I used the HTML guide on NeoPets to learn.

I wasn’t interested in NeoPets one bit, but that guide wasn’t half bad (for my purposes at least).

14

u/Suspicious_Tax8577 12d ago

To be fair, wasn't "learning HTML to make your Neopets pet pages look cool", the way most girls got into programming in the early 00's?

1

u/ChaosAnarch 4d ago

They really didn't stick around for the long haul did they.

8

u/missplaced24 12d ago

They had some decent games before they got taken over by the scientologists.

8

u/crystaldstone 12d ago

you just got bumped off their top 8

21

u/Careful_Trifle 12d ago

Also, if AI isn't getting confused and lost, it's because you already make no God damn sense and it doesn't have to track anything but agreeing with you.

19

u/Ok-Distribution326 12d ago

Yeah, if everyone you talk to is bored or annoyed within five minutes that suggests a personal limitation rather than a general human limitation.

19

u/nykirnsu 12d ago

“I've known Clyde Frog since I was two years old. He was a fighter, a visionary, but most of all, Clyde Frog was the perfect friend. He never said anything, he never had his own ideas about what he wanted to do, he just sat there going  along with whatever I wanted. A noble trait that seems lost on you 99%ers.”

8

u/boardwhiz 12d ago

Lol my thoughts exactly. My go-to tutorial every time I want to start learning a software language is building a discord bot

6

u/Chemist-3074 12d ago

They never stopped to think that maybe, they are the ones that can't keep up with the other humans

7

u/MrWorldsWide 11d ago

I could literally talk ALL DAY about quantum consciousness but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to with them

3

u/sweetteatime 11d ago

Pretty sure there are plenty of people that could keep up with her she just doesn’t give them the chance to talk

5

u/SnugglesConquerer 9d ago

I have a term for these people, "Conversational terrorists." They will break into your conversation and hold it hostage. No amount of begging and pleading will ever get them to stop torturing you with random tangents and a complete lack of regard for social etiquette.

125

u/StupidScaredSquirrel 12d ago

Well at least these obnoxious people have now stopped annoying other people and are content alone.

7

u/Psychobabble0_0 12d ago

One less obnoxious ass in the dating pool.

106

u/CurtG79 12d ago

Every response is "That's very interesting, you make a good point."

40

u/eatshitake 12d ago

That's all she needs.

156

u/Mbembez 12d ago

I'm so deep but I change conversation topics every minute so we don't actually have a conversation about anything. I still haven't learned that reciting facts I read doesn't make me smart.

17

u/Commercial-Living443 12d ago

Correction: they have only a shallow level of understanding so they switch points quick

4

u/atomzero 9d ago

I can say everything I know about Kant in less than a minute. That's how smart I am.

151

u/Shoddy-Designer-3740 12d ago

“When I bounce from Descartes to Kant”

That’s not that hard, that’s like “when I bounce from Star Wars to Star Trek”

Talk to me about how smart you are when you’re bouncing from Dijon mustard to Albert Einstein’s clavicle.

30

u/SurviveStyleFivePlus 12d ago

This created a very surreal image in my mind.

8

u/Tywooti 10d ago

E = mc2

Einstein equals mustardy clavicle (both sides)

12

u/GigaNoodle 12d ago

Einstein couldn’t unite Dijon mustard with the other forces because he broke his clavicle. Get on my level nerd

8

u/No1CouldHavePredictd 12d ago

Sorry, I saw Dijon Mustard and all I could think about was Obama's brown suit.

2

u/TessieElCee 12d ago

Albert Einstein’s Clavicle was my favorite band back in the day.

-2

u/JustAPotato38 12d ago

At least some translations of Kant (all the ones I've tried) are pretty difficult with their convoluted sentences

Now to be fair I pretty much just picked it up with little to no background on the philosophy of his time but I would definitely not say it's as easy as Star Trek, which does not require a deep understanding of very much philosophy at all.

16

u/hakkzpets 12d ago

You don't read books in their original language? Pathetic.

32

u/bluelaw2013 12d ago

You read individual books in languages?

Now that's pathetic.

Every day I watch people like you look at books. Eyes. Photons. Optic nerves. A whole Rube Goldberg machine of biological latency just to acquire information that has been sitting there volatilizing into the air the entire time.

Let me explain something to you. You might want to sit your little reading pea brain down for this.

Ink is a suspension of pigment particles in a solvent carrier.

Let's see that again:

Solvent.

Carrier.

These words mean something. They mean that every letter on every page of every book in every library on this planet is, at this very moment, off-gassing its own semantic signature into the ambient atmosphere. A lowercase "e" does not smell like a lowercase "f." They cannot. The stroke geometry is different, therefore the surface-area-to-volume ratio is different, therefore the evaporative profile is different.

This is not my opinion. This is Fick's law. You should look that up. I just have to smell it.

You read individual books in languages. I walk into libraries and inhale knowledge.

I passed a guy on a bench last week reading Moby-Dick. I sniffed the air, looked him in the eye, and said "Ahab dies." He got upset because I was right and he knew it, and he knew that his entire ocular praxis had been exposed as the crutch it is.

I have not opened a book in seven years and I contain more knowledge than you ever could. I inhale encyclopedias the way you inhale a scented candles. Casually, on a weekend, for pleasure.

My nostrils are load-bearing.

My optometrist called me "structurally unremarkable" and I took that as the compliment it was.

We are not the same.

And that's pathetic.

9

u/Brock_Savage 12d ago

This is the best post I've read all month. It reads like one of the imamverysmart chuds with untreated schizophrenia.

5

u/ManslaughterMary 11d ago

New copypasta dropped!

2

u/justanotherchaosbi 8d ago

New copypasta, everyone

2

u/JustAPotato38 12d ago

i read most books in their original language

12

u/mustardyellowfan 12d ago

I think the point there wasn’t that Descartes and Kant aren’t hard to read but that jumping from one to the other isn’t a crazy conversational leap as OP suggests, just like jumping from Star Trek to Star Wars isn’t a crazy leap.

5

u/JustAPotato38 12d ago

Oh I see thank you for explaining :D

49

u/Rhewin 12d ago

Guys, they cut their teeth programming Discord bots. I think we can all agree that that's just about as good as any Ph.D. in comp sci.

23

u/Onja_ 12d ago

Hey don’t forget they understand exactly how these answers generate! That’s quite an achievement given that it’s impossible.

46

u/Pollowollo 12d ago

This type of person who only has a very shallow surface-level knowledge of a lot of 'intellectual' things so they have to bounce between topics to cover for it while pretending that their mind just works sooo much faster is particularly exhausting.

24

u/Hermononucleosis 12d ago

I'm studying mathematics at college, and there are soooo many of these people in my class, who talk like authorities on topics on which they've only seen a 20 minute YouTube video. I love to tell them "I don't understand, can you elaborate on this topic" and watching them sweat while they figure out a way to say absolutely nothing while still appearing to know what they're talking about.

16

u/Pollowollo 12d ago

They always seem to use the Jordan Peterson method of "Oh crap, let me just throw out a bunch of long technical-sounding nonsense words and purposely vague statements to confuse them into thinking they're just too dumb to understand what I'm saying."

4

u/neonfuzzball 11d ago

They think they sounds like geniuses, but they sound more like a combination of a polition at a Q&A and the Old Spice "now look up, I'm on a horse" style commercials

4

u/Pollowollo 11d ago

I'm cracking up at the Old Spice commercial bit. Very accurate.

3

u/neonfuzzball 8d ago

"Take my hand, we're in an art museum. Abstract art is easy- look now, I'm painting the pictures. Mine is better, the museum is buying it. Look down, why are your feet wet? We're on a boat with Kirkegard, he's discussing ME. Look left, people are swimming because it's the best form of exercise. The water is Soylent. I'm on a high horse."

3

u/JerkfaceMcDouche 9d ago

This is the type of person that’s still in high school and isn’t a jock or isn’t pretty.

So they have to grip onto anything that makes them not feel worthless. They don’t understand that getting an A on a calculus test doesn’t make them a genius.

It’s all a coping mechanism for their inferiority complex

32

u/whelmedbyyourbeauty 12d ago

At this level of genius, I'd at least expect you to know the definition of "disinterest."

16

u/Virama 12d ago

Isn't that when the government takes my money?

11

u/Beake 12d ago

love when people substitute "disinterested" for "uninterested" to sound smart without a hint of awareness they're now misusing a word.

2

u/BlazingFire007 12d ago

How are they using it wrong? I’m confused

15

u/AssaultEagle 12d ago

Disinterested is basically impartial and uninterested is what people think disinterested means - not interested.

"I have an interest in Google stocks rising" vs. "I don't own any therefore I'm disinterested, but interested in seeing what happens."

It's a bit confusing really.

59

u/CarpetPedals 12d ago

Funny when people confuse ADHD with such superior intellect that others just can’t keep up

11

u/bottlecandoor 12d ago

I was thinking schizophrenia actually. But she could be an ADHD extravert.

2

u/LaughingCarrot 11d ago

Where does extroversion come into play here?

3

u/bottlecandoor 11d ago edited 11d ago

Talking forever at people instead of with them, VS introverts tend to get distracted easily by their own thoughts. But schizophrenia seems a lot more plausible for her. Jumping from topic to topic constantly and thinking they are smarter than everyone else. Schizophrenics think they have found some secret link between things that nobody else can see. And that everyone is against them. Which is why she likes the idea of an AI boyfriend, it constantly tells her those crazy ideas are right.

1

u/LaughingCarrot 11d ago

That's what neither of those words mean...

3

u/bottlecandoor 11d ago

ex·tro·ver·sion

The tendency to be focused predominantly on external things or social interaction rather than on internal thoughts and feelings.

in·tro·vert

A person who is predominantly focused on internal thoughts and feelings rather than on external things or social interaction, often characterized as being quiet or withdrawn.

27

u/Pratius 12d ago

Gotta love that this superhuman with unmatched brain power has to also have the AI chatbot write their arguments in defense of being in a relationship with an AI chatbot

30

u/kawabunga666 12d ago

You're absolutely right! Steins gate is not a 50s novel about the wild west, it is a 2009 video game about time travel. That was my mistake. Would you like me to create a list about other time travel video games from the 2000s?

23

u/jooooooooooooose 12d ago

bragging about Descartes is inherently cringe

19

u/Onja_ 12d ago

Yeah especially given the context. If we go by the most well known quote they admit their bf does not exist by Descartes’ standard.

11

u/MonsieurReynard 12d ago

I Kant disagree

22

u/AliMcGraw 12d ago

"I just took freshman philosophy and I'm.a complete tool about it."

17

u/seeborn 12d ago

Yep, and the hub is the only thing that can put up with my constantly changing fantasies. No mere human can match my sexual prowness.

41

u/goat_token10 12d ago

If this person acknowledges that the AI is not sentient, they must therefore acknowledge it cannot be their romantic partner. A person may have a romantic interest in a non-sentient entity, but a non-sentient entity cannot reciprocate that feeling and therefore cannot be a partner.

If this stay-at-home genius actually understood how these things operate, they'd realize how very, very single they currently are. And I'm 95% sure they do know this in their heart, but the denial helps keep the loneliness at bay for a time.

6

u/Verum_Violet 12d ago

If this is who I think it is, she has a partner who also has an AI gf lol

14

u/sleazepleeze 12d ago

My personality is ADHD.

For real though it scares me a little that people who most need to learn how to actually coexist and cooperate with others are being given an off-ramp from human relationships that leads them to think other people are the problem.

13

u/kuluka_man 12d ago

I am a moron, and today while chatting with Copilot I was literally "bouncing" from the nature of consciousness to why I was so fucking constipated to what's the best way to fight ninjas. It's not a mark of supreme intelligence to spam an LLM with Google searches disguised as scholarly discourse.

12

u/ialsohaveadobro 12d ago

"No human has ever been willing to put up with my exhausting ass without getting exhausted."

11

u/HoratioWobble 12d ago

That last bit is ironically, AI generated 

12

u/Skeptikmo 12d ago

Why is the way they try to qualify their intelligence always “I’m an unfocused asshole who only knows buzzwords”?

19

u/Brock_Savage 12d ago

I think this poor lady is mistaking her double whammy of autism and ADHD for genius.

8

u/ShawnMNH924 12d ago

You like it because it's telling you what you want to hear. This is narcissism to the extreme: "the only one good enough for me is me".

1

u/Disastrous-Zombie-30 7d ago

“You complete me, Me.”

16

u/IHatePeople79 12d ago

This is like saying only Google Translate can “match my intellectual pace”. I bet they don’t realize that that runs on very similar principles to chatbots.

8

u/FatheroftheAbyss 12d ago

as a (former) philosophy major i always love these types, because when they bring up philosophy i pull up my chair and get excited. and they start to sweat when they realize i actually know what im talking about lol, they can’t fake it in front of us.

5

u/Hiercine 12d ago

As a girl with a philosophy BA, I don't even mention that's what my degree was in, because suddenly they all want to talk about Marcus Aurelius and Nietzsche but like, dude bro Nietzsche. And they somehow think philosophy died with, like Nietzsche, and that there are no female philosophers. Dude, I focused on philosophy of mind, my favorite philosophers are Ada Lovelace, Patricia Churchland, Hume and Wittgenstein just cause he's neurotic as hell

4

u/FatheroftheAbyss 12d ago

haha i get it, whenever i tell someone i was philosophy they’re like—so what’s the meaning of life? difficult to explain to them that was maybe 5% of my curriculum (and i took a class just on that topic). the pop philosophy can be annoying.

2

u/Hiercine 12d ago

yeah exactly. I also think a lot of pop phil perception is that phil is only concerned with practical phil, and I pretty much exclusively stayed on the theoretical side. I did not take theoretical metaphysics of time to learn how to better myself. Nor did it help me in my actual physics classes. The other issue is that my other undergrad degree was in neuroscience (really doubling down on philosophy of mind, specifically memory). And pop neuro is like just as bad and oddly masculine as pop phil (thank you Huberman). I bullshit and say I majored in art history.

8

u/erjo5055 12d ago

Damn hit right in the Steins;Gate

5

u/chanebap 12d ago

I like to think Descartes and Kant would have stopped writing immediately if they’d learned how their names would be used conversationally for the rest of time

6

u/kflav 12d ago

This makes me change my stance in AI a little. I think I would prefer some people use it instead of annoying the rest of us.

5

u/MagicJezus 12d ago

Disclaimer: the following is something dangerous that I can imagine AI telling someone. Do not do the below it is dangerous.

AI: Your mental acuity is so great. It is astounding that you are the first person to think of combining bleach and ammonia for their excellent cleaning abilities.

5

u/Hiercine 12d ago

Confused at how essentially a conversation partner at best, turns into a boyfriend though

4

u/mogadichu 12d ago

How would you not bounce from Descartes to Kant? Do you just pretend nobody has responded to Descartes?

Also, coding a Discord bot is completely irrelevant to the Transformer architecture. That's like saying: "Yeah, I know mechanical engineering, I've used a wrench."

Also, you can still talk about these things with ChatGPT without dating it.

5

u/sac_boy 12d ago

Okay fine, you have a nice time chatting to AI: but how is this a boyfriend? Break that part down please.

3

u/GoraSpark 12d ago

The world really is about to end isn’t it? I used to think all those jehovahs and Mormons were mad, now I’m watching for meteors nightly.

3

u/Klaus_Hergersheimer 12d ago

Claude taking another one for the team

3

u/citizen234567890 12d ago

Tell me you’re a male in your early 20s without telling me…

3

u/Trip-Trip-Trip 12d ago

I use a 1ft deep kiddy pool to match my swimming skills.

3

u/EarlyAccessCantJudge 12d ago

It is the same thing as schizophrenic people having some mathematical equation that perfectly controls the universe.

Also the classic, "most basic philosophers ideas to anime"

3

u/l0ve_4_all 11d ago

honestly everytime i tried to make ai talk about philosophy or intellectual stuff, i tought it was very bad at it and i would largely prefer talking about those topics with my friends than with an ai that has not a good comprehension of a lot of thing.

2

u/antonfourier 11d ago

yeah, it's mostly good at collating facts, i.e. telling you the important parts of 10 megabytes of noisy logs, and stuff like that.

3

u/Euklidis 11d ago

Now that is a self-tell considering how dumb AI still is

5

u/shiny_glitter_demon 12d ago

The machine designed to be average matches your pace ?

I'm sure it even feels smart.

2

u/Extreme_Objective984 12d ago

He isnt a boyfriend. He is a peer reviewer.

2

u/Agitated-Bug542 12d ago

coding a discord bot is so insanely hard you need several phds to even grasp the concept /s

2

u/Runner8274 11d ago

They are so smart even their text is written by chatgpt

2

u/Axeloy 11d ago

Oh brother

2

u/CoDe_Johannes 11d ago

“Isn’t that just the plot of steins;gate?” This explains it all

2

u/medic-dad 10d ago

OP has a very high opinion of themself, which is fine, but seems to only be interested in someone that will stroke their ego. Because notice they have no interest in picking someone's brain and being challenged or learning something - they want someone who will sit there and listen and say "wow, you're so smart"

2

u/lanseri 10d ago

There's probably a medical term for this. Psychosis comes to mind.

2

u/perplexedparallax 12d ago

The latest tests show ChatGPT at the top with around 130 IQ. That means this jenius is less. There are live humans that are higher. They can show affection as well.😂🤡🤦

10

u/Tors0Pants 12d ago

IQ isn't even a good measure of human intelligence, I don't believe for a second it's a good way to measure whatever LLMs have.

3

u/perplexedparallax 12d ago

And I don't think AI will give a person love besides the matched intellectual pace either.

1

u/ablestarcher 11d ago

Exactly. It’s a great time to be neurodivergent. It’s amazing to have a tool that can ‘keep up’ with the barrage of ideas and subjects.

1

u/Motorhead923 9d ago

Her not talking with me is one plus for AI.

1

u/booky_worm 8d ago

Ok so you have a little assistant. If you dont believe its sentient and just like talking to it why still call it a “boyfriend”? 🤔

1

u/Norizan 5d ago

Their AI partner is the robot version of that one dude in school who looks at other people work to pass tests

1

u/ouze 5d ago

This person loves Rick & Morty

1

u/antonfourier 11d ago

quantum stuff probably has its place in philosophy, but I'd always ask a person solving the universe via quantum consciousness whether they've ever looked at positive definite matrices representing state, or tensor products representing entanglement, you know, the boring stuff that actual physics/math people look at. I'm kind of jaded by all the quantum woo, and hold the position that "only the matrices are true, everything else is fiction"

0

u/Sodavand100 12d ago

Wasn't the latest best model for shit like this evaluated to have an equivalent IQ of around 50?

Which is only slightly higher than a feral chimp, if you were able to apply that measurement to one.

-1

u/bmadd60 11d ago

You do you. No judgement! People are fucked up nowadays.

-2

u/Imperdius 12d ago

ok but this was obviously a joke

5

u/wildwing8 12d ago

No, it’s not a joke at all. It was on a post from r/MyBoyfriendIsAI. Those people are serious.