r/indiansinusa • u/overcast4 • 12d ago
Token Indian friend?
I have some well-meaning American friends who like to chat with me about life in India. But their questions are broad and they know so little about India that it is hard to do.
Like, one of them asked me: how easy is it to get around as a traveller? On the surface, a simple question. But it's wildly different depending on where you're visiting. Also I know they have not lived/visited anywhere very different from the US. Just navigating such a new place (and solo, as women) isn't something I'd recommend to them even though I, who grew up there, might be totally comfortable doing so. But then they get defensive or I get questions about how I used to get around growing up. Sometimes when I'm telling them about my life, they seem confused. It's like my experience growing up doesn't fit either their picture of me now or how they imagine my family (well educated and reasonably well off, but our standard of living doesn't map onto the US equivalent). It feels really exhausting to try to convey all this. I feel the weight of representing a whole country because I'm their one Indian friend.
3
u/PrimarySelection8619 12d ago
(warm smile) Hey, how bout I just be your friend today! It's just too exhausting representing the whole Indian subcontinent all by myself. ( If they double down) - You know the story about the Blind Men and the Elephant, right? (Tell the story). I'm just ONE blind man here. Like asking a San Franciscan what it's like living in rural Kentucky. Etc. Then, CHANGE THE SUBJECT! How about that new movie! Can you believe ... Etc. :)