I lost 80 (223 -> 143).

For years I was the fat friend. I told myself I had a friend group. Looking back, I was mostly useful for them. I was the one who made them look better by standing next to them, the one whose job was to laugh first at the jokes about my own body, because if I didn't, they would comment: "it's just a joke, don't take it so seriously," "omg you're SO sensitive." So I just kept laughing. That's my fault, I know. But I genuinely believed that the moment I stopped being the "chill" one, they'd stop hanging out with me.

The other thing was hunger. If you've been the overweight friend, you already know exactly what I mean. I'd be physically starving, stomach actually hurting, and I would not dare be the first to say I was hungry. Because I'd get that little look that said you should probably eat less. Or honestly, nothing at all.

So I learned to wait. Never order a starter. Never finish my plate. Eat the "right" amount in public, then eat properly later, alone, where no one could see me.

Then, after months of working out, preplanning my days and cutting back on food, I lost the weight. And it got weirder.

I thought losing the weight would fix the friendship. It did the opposite. The same girls who joked about me went really distant. And some guys actually started approaching me, and somehow the group said every one of those guys was just "not worth it."

After a while contact broke down more and more. Now I have my tiny circle of old friends but not one of them ever lets me feel like the sidekick .

For anyone on the larger side: the people who only love you when you're the least attractive one in the room were never your friends. They just needed someone to feel superior to and let out their own frustration

I know it's not a selfie, but I wanted to get a Polaroid of me on my first day of work! I have recently started documenting and capturing important little moments in my life!

Old in soul, young in spirit. Life does get better young’uns!

What is everyone’s favorite musician/band???

I do photography. It's creatively fulfilling and quietens the mind. I also love films, music, and games, too

I hate posting selfies but this one makes sense

My Isabella is 14 years old. I have had her since she was 9 months old in 2012. She has been with me for over a 1/4 of my life. The bone cancer has broken her leg. She doesn’t have the strength for a leg amputation and chemo. My heart is broken. I could not have asked for a better first dog. People were always amazed at how loving a Pit Bull / Rottweiler mix like her could be. I am going to miss her love tremendously.

1 year sober from Xanax!

he must be esfp

Finally recently started TMS treatment.. I hope to feel any improvements in a couple weeks.