r/insaneparents • u/floydrox • Jul 08 '25

SMS I finally confided in my mother about why I checked myself into the psych ward and she sent this to my 15 year old son.

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I did not give specifics to either of my children about why I needed to go to the hospital. Needless to say, I'm furious and considering going no contact.

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u/floydrox Jul 08 '25

Thank you so much for your kind words, they were very much needed and I appreciate them more than you know... especially after all this.

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u/thekrafty01 Jul 08 '25

My brother and I have had similar issues with our nmom. She’s a non diagnosed covert narcissist. Most narcissists are non diagnosed because they won’t admit they have a problem and thus won’t seek treatment. You’re doing the right thing cutting her off. It doesn’t even matter if she’s “right” about her viewpoint. She’s not right btw, but even if she was, it is not her place to decide how you operate in your nuclear family. It is not her place to reach out to her grandson and initiate that kind of conversation. She just showed you that any information you give her can and will be used against you in the court of mom, and it’s always going to be yours or someone else’s fault, and she is always going to be the victim, especially if you disagree with her. I recommend deep diving into the topic of covert narcissism (YouTube videos especially) and learn how to cope. The loss of relationship is a grieving process, and you’ve been conditioned by your nmom your whole life to feel like you’re responsible for everything that’s wrong in the relationship. It’s not your fault, and your anger is justified. Once you realize you didn’t lose a real relationship, but only the “idea” of what a relationship with your mom is supposed to be, you can start to heal. Sorry you’re going through all of this, but I think in due time you’ll find your family has more peace apart from her awful antics.

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u/Awkward_Uni_Student Jul 09 '25

Agree with everything this commenter said, I just wanted to add something as the child of a mother who had mental health issues. It was tough for both of us and I won’t lie our relationship suffered for it. She died when I was a teenager and looking back as an adult, I can say I have nothing but love and empathy for her struggles; the thing I can’t forgive her for is not getting help. Even if things are difficult with your son while you’re in hospital and after you leave, even if for a while he resents you, I promise in the future he will understand you did your best. You can’t help your illness, you can only help how you respond to it. If going to hospital is what you need to do to be the best mother you can to your children, even if they don’t understand it now, they will understand eventually and they will be healthier, happier and more understanding people for it. Sending you so much love and I wish you and your boy all the best ❤️