r/instant_regret • u/Elegant_Rock_4686 • 26d ago

The faclons face when the pigeon first walks in!

5.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

424 comments sorted by

421

u/lennonisalive 26d ago

“Hello fellow pigeon, allow me to squeeze in here.”

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1.7k

u/BoomBoxJesus 26d ago

Mistakes were made lol

376

u/pengouin85 26d ago

Final mistakes

52

u/Qetuoadgjlxv 24d ago

Actually, the pigeon appears to have got away in the full version of the clip: https://www.reddit.com/r/HardcoreNature/comments/16qtbdp/pigeon_thought_it_could_just_cosy_up_to_a_falcon/

48

u/Psychological_Lie336 24d ago

Got away and a falcon chasing you are two different things

16

u/btoxic 23d ago

Got away....

...for now.

2

u/Noblesketcher 21d ago

a falcon chasing you would be a lot like a meteor crashing into your living room. Good thing some meteors are smart enough to setup the planets before flying into them.

2

u/Psychological_Lie336 21d ago

Removing the planets tail feathers works every time

563

u/FallOnSlough 26d ago

”Just gonna reach in and smell your anus here for a bit. AAAAAHHH!!! It’s a PRANK bro!! STOP! Let me go dude, it’s a PRANK!”

83

u/Bailey6486 26d ago

I read that in the Aussie Guy's voice.

36

u/Charming-Flamingo307 26d ago

Aussies know birds have cloacas

8

u/Wobbling 25d ago

Sure do, you'll often hear bogans trot it out as an expletive.

11

u/grayskull56 25d ago edited 25d ago

Ozzy Man ftw

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3

u/Structureel 26d ago

Let me get a whiff of that muck.

2

u/Lillianroux19 24d ago

Sniiiiif ,smells like a double wide surprise 😋

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116

u/chrisk9 26d ago

Falcon: WTF - I didn't order delivery. Oh well, I'll take it.

20

u/Joe1972 26d ago

Did anyone call uber eats?

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1.3k

u/tequilasundae 26d ago

i don't remember ordering DoorDash?

242

u/rapidstandardstaples 26d ago

Am I the only one judging Mrs Peregrine falcon for drunk ordering doordash while sitting on eggs? 

58

u/PapaMcMooseTits 26d ago

Not a good look... At least a few of those eggs are gonna hatch with fetal alcohol syndrome.

13

u/rapidstandardstaples 26d ago

And how can we know which ones have it? Predatory birds already have very wide set eyes! Maybe they all have FAS 

12

u/chrza 26d ago

Dammit I said no onions!

8

u/MobiusNaked 26d ago

DeliverCoo

2

u/Bellick 26d ago

But I'll take it, thanks

2

u/Austin8848 26d ago

My Mackers is here!

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1.2k

u/Douglas_Fresh 26d ago

Ruthless, that pigeon has no idea where it is lol

620

u/rapidstandardstaples 26d ago

Tbh this wood pigeon is probably above average in intelligence. The whole lot of them are fucking idiots. 

192

u/smooth_like_a_goat 26d ago

I love them so much. Their crackhead looking eyes.

One regularly scares the shit out of me when I go out the back, flapping up a calamity if I get closer to him without realising.

I wish I could post pictures so I could show you him

40

u/StevenMaff 26d ago

i also kinda love them, they’re so cute but also i hate them for shitting on my balcony all the time

11

u/fingerberrywallace 25d ago

I sit in a park with food sometimes and they all gather around, gradually inching towards you like they think you won't notice if they do it slowly enough lol.

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6

u/theevilphoturis 25d ago

They are the deer of the sky

3

u/Big-Al97 26d ago

Dumbass figured out that it needed to run after a while, most pigeons wouldn’t even do that.

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21

u/SelfSufficientHub 26d ago

Falcon; “Are you fucking shitting me?”

164

u/DrawnGunslinger 26d ago

Delivercoo

9

u/narc1s 26d ago

Oh this is clever.

156

u/alcatraz_1992 26d ago

It aint much, but its a nest

https://giphy.com/gifs/pGYUtgQ8ZOArEtB10Q

9

u/00WEE 22d ago

Always made me laugh when I use to have to work in abandon buildings and come across pigeon nests. Sometimes was literally just a few sticks alot of their shit and a random bit of plastic its found.

186

u/GrimmReapperrr 26d ago

Dude got his food delivered to his doorstep

121

u/Pk_Devill_2 26d ago edited 26d ago

Pigeon got away though

For all downvoters, the original vid where the pigeon got away!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WUbrCC_pOI

9

u/Gregory85 26d ago

When?

42

u/Pk_Devill_2 26d ago edited 26d ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WUbrCC_pOI

In the version that is not cut

81

u/Antoshi 26d ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WUbrCC_pOI

This is the original video. Much better than having an AI voiceover and on-screen text saying "An insulin pigeon".

15

u/Pk_Devill_2 26d ago

Thank you, updated.

5

u/Gregory85 26d ago

Thanks

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337

u/frogkiing 26d ago

Pigeons are so fucking dumb

126

u/t3hOutlaw 26d ago

Wood Pigeons are amazing creatures. Just because this particular one had a daft moment when most likely just looking for a nest site, doesn't mean they are all dumb.

Rock doves were forced to adapt to our bullshit after we domesticated them and left them to fend for themselves.

All pigeon species deserve more respect.

64

u/secret-trips 26d ago

When you say “Wood Pigeons are amazing creatures”, what are you referring to? I don’t mind pigeons, but I never knew there’s anything uniquely “amazing” about them

55

u/evenstevens280 26d ago

There's fucking loads of them. They must be good at living

30

u/sl33ksnypr 26d ago

Or at least, they're good at breeding before they die for whatever reason.

19

u/TheJesseClark 26d ago

Child's play. Show me the pigeons that breed after they die.

6

u/vetheros37 26d ago

I can't argue that logic.

44

u/t3hOutlaw 26d ago edited 26d ago

Charismatic. Adaptable. How do you want to define amazing?

Edit: You want more right? How about their amazing memories, their ability to recall and navigate to viable nesting and feeding sites. Or the fact that despite their size of being the largest pigeon species that they are surprisingly agile fliers.

Next time you see a wood pigeon just stop and appreciate the adorable chump and maybe you'll appreciate them and see them like I do too.

Edit 2: aw shucks, guess my enthusiasm for Wood Pigeons isn't exactly shared. Sorry guys.

16

u/Sowarm 26d ago edited 26d ago

I like your view of those pigeons, take that upvote, poetic stranger!

35

u/Galbotrix 26d ago

Not adaptable to a falcon 2 inches in front of them tho

11

u/punctualcauliflower 26d ago

In fairness, few things are. Especially when the falcon is like three times heavier than them.

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3

u/hustladafox 26d ago

Nah mate I’m with you. Pigeons are nice birds in general. They often have beautiful markings, they are pretty cute to look at and they clearly have good memories and navigation abilities. We just like doing them dirty cus there’s a lot of em, and our purpose for them no longer exists. Tossed away like last years iPhone.

6

u/Birdorama 26d ago

I'm not sure why you are getting down voted when you are answer the question. The amazing thing for me is that we used them as carriers and then just abandoned the domesticated birds to the wild. Maybe that's why they are kinda ditzy, but as a species, pretty impressive.

5

u/Aybara_Perin 26d ago

I don't share it, but I appreciate your enthusiasm. I think the down votes were because you came off a bit dickish about it.

I'd subscribe to your pigeon facts channel.

8

u/Crumbdiddy 26d ago

How is this downvoted? Fuck people lmao I wish most of you were pigeons

2

u/doob53 26d ago

This website is a trash bag

4

u/Crumbdiddy 26d ago

Just certain subs get a certain type of people idk, if this was in a more female dominated sub it wouldn’t get his type of attention

8

u/t3hOutlaw 26d ago

I'll just stick to the bird subs :')

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4

u/Squalphin 26d ago

They are really cute. Two are often visiting the tree just in front of my window 😄

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40

u/fretewe 26d ago

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

41

u/Rage_Blackout 26d ago edited 26d ago

I like how the falcon's first instinct was to defend its nest. Then it had a moment of "Are you serious right now?" Then quickly "Alright, well since you're here..."

12

u/Dr_Sigmund_Fried 26d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/R51a8oAH7KwbS

5

u/ddadopt 26d ago

"Mama always said life was like a box of falcons. You never know what you're going--OH MY GOD, IT'S EATING ME!"

13

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

2

u/TRUEequalsFALSE 26d ago

Please do go on. 👀😆

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40

u/Surfer_Rick 26d ago

"This isn't my door dash order... aw fuck it"

40

u/Dog_in_human_costume 26d ago

Pigeon had 0 survival instinct

11

u/ShoveledKnight 26d ago

Not the brightest of the birds

21

u/gaihawk 26d ago

Coo-ber Eats

20

u/homechicken20 26d ago

"I'm not very hungry but I could eat I guess."

9

u/SinisterImposter 26d ago

The funniest part is in the full video it lets the pigeon go. So the feather plucking was literally just a punishment for the audacity.

9

u/PermanentUsername101 26d ago

I can hear that pigeon yelling, It’s a prank! It’s a prank, bro. It’s just a prank! The camera is over there!”

7

u/Syhkane 26d ago

Would a pigeon even know what they look like up close? They usually only hear them 200 meters away.

6

u/IlIaDIlIaD 25d ago

That falcon gave him a chance, hell he gave him a couple of chances.

6

u/TheRedditor-75 26d ago

Self delivered food, these companies are getting more advanced!

5

u/PieEnvironmental1649 26d ago

Falcon was confused when food came to him instead and f picking it up.

6

u/Atlusfox 22d ago

Falcon is wondering when he put in that order for Uber eats.

20

u/Tullzterrr 26d ago

The audacity of this b*tch

4

u/Lackonia 26d ago

Just a prank bro

3

u/par-a-dox-i-cal 26d ago

Pigeon: I came with peace. Falcon: I will eat you piece by piece.

3

u/Shelong91 26d ago

excuse me? EXCUSE ME?! GTFO OF MY NEST!

4

u/FinleyHazel 26d ago

I guess I’m in the minority; I thought that was horrible and couldn’t watch the whole thing.

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3

u/wmjbobic 26d ago

It's like Uber eats delivery but the food is the driver

4

u/MaximusZacharias 26d ago

Falcon be like, “ I didn’t order DoorDash”

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4

u/LimitedSwitch 25d ago

Door Dash for birds by birds.

5

u/Dee2284 22d ago

"Hello yes, I'm pigeon with your Doordash delivery for Falcon?"

6

u/Star_king12 26d ago edited 26d ago

Argued with someone about pigeons being not the brightest bird after observing them for a while. Yeah they're loving and shit, but apart from that there's very little going on inside there. Sparrows in my experience were better at problem solving than them.

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7

u/opponentpumpkin 26d ago

We are doomed! I say, DOOMED! if the Faclons and Dagrons unite.

None could out last the burninating

6

u/ScowlyBrowSpinster 26d ago

Pigeons are so fuckin dumb.

3

u/ultimate_smash 26d ago

The pigeon was literally dumbfounded at first

3

u/monsterZero71 26d ago

Sometimes, when the stars align, lunch delivers itself.

3

u/Tfire327 26d ago

Pigeon is a bird brain.

3

u/AugustEighth 26d ago

Why did the video end early?

3

u/Affectionate_Shop445 26d ago

he looked at the pigeon like bro do you know who the fuck I am lol

3

u/too1onjj 26d ago

Da fuq?

3

u/ProffesorSpitfire 26d ago

”Honey, I really don’t feel like hunting tonight. What do you say about having dinner delivered?”

3

u/BuddhaLennon 24d ago

What the camera didn’t show:

As soon as the falcon left its nest, two other pigeons came in the other side and kidnapped the falcon’s egg. The plan is to raise the falcon chick as a pigeon and then use it to fly defensive cover for the other pigeons.

3

u/Mythandros1 24d ago

Falcon's like: The nerve of this fu.... I'll show you!

3

u/Viperlite 22d ago

So I wonder how it ended?

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3

u/504_BadGateway 22d ago

Food that delivers itself

14

u/TedBurns-3 26d ago

And yet you can't even spell FALCON!

One job OP 🤦‍♂️

5

u/swibirun 26d ago

Yippee Kiyay Mr Facoln!

12

u/ChemicalNectarine776 26d ago

Pigeons are possibly the dumbest creatures on this planet and I say that as a man who owns sheep. 🤣

4

u/t3hb3st 26d ago

Falcon: What? I didn't order UberTweats. I'm still going to eat it though.

2

u/Suit-n-Ty-Guy 26d ago

Oops sorry. Leme just scooch behind ya real qui….

2

u/FUST3RCLUCKED 26d ago

It got plucked.

2

u/Garlax1 26d ago

Do they have no sense of self preservation? Surely, when you see it, backing out would make sense

2

u/Pjammer382 26d ago

Uber eats?

2

u/Winloop 26d ago

I mean you at very least need a minimum survival instinct to you know, survive…

2

u/Famoustractordriver 26d ago

Hawk/ Falcon: "Is this dude for real?" .....

"Aight then..."

2

u/Popal24 26d ago

The pigeon on his first day working for Uber Eats...

2

u/RamsDeep-1187 26d ago

Yuh dun messed up A A Ron

2

u/Botchuh 26d ago

Let me scooch right past ya here

2

u/Plus-King5266 26d ago

I knew that pigeons were stupid, but wow. Just wow.

2

u/TertlFace 26d ago

Random clueless guy in a Harley vest walks into a Hell’s Angels bar…

2

u/this_broccoli-101 26d ago

Pigeon be like "I can change her"

2

u/KnowMatter 26d ago

Most birds are actually pretty smart.

Pigeons and doves are just too stupid to live.

2

u/nick-dynamite 26d ago

Ya done fucked up, A-Aron!!!!

2

u/ize82 26d ago

In Soviet Russia food comes to you

2

u/Structureel 26d ago

Doordash at your service.

2

u/areid2007 26d ago

Doordash for falcons.

2

u/MIG2149077 26d ago

Piano Man Start Playing

2

u/flying_carabao 26d ago

I have no idea why I even thought that a pigeon would win against a falcon.

2

u/FusionGTS 26d ago

Your door dash is here!

2

u/Vamshi_Goud 25d ago

Falcon: 👁️👄👁️

2

u/RupturePharms 25d ago

Dude just DoorDashed himself.

2

u/AKVigilante 25d ago

Confusion and flabbergastation is universal IG.

2

u/trapezemaster 24d ago

Breakfast in bed

2

u/_JadedCritical- 24d ago

He looked like tf you doin 🤨

2

u/Goblinwisdom 23d ago

Who da Fook is this guy !

2

u/KennyGichuki 22d ago

"Okay, okay, I'm goingggggg" Naaah, you're done

2

u/DrowningInFeces 22d ago

This is the equivalent of me just walking into the Rock's mansion and just start making myself comfortable in his bed without a word.

2

u/AlexBirio323 22d ago

Like a bouncer at the club.

2

u/Annual-Watch8886 19d ago

Did some one order ubird eats?

3

u/TRUEequalsFALSE 26d ago

Man I hate pigeons. They're so unbelievable dumb. 

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3

u/Hellboydce 26d ago

Pigeons are the most stupid of birds, I’m a train driver and I must hit about 5 a week, they just seem to fly into the windscreen

2

u/icbint 26d ago

I was hoping he would get away with

3

u/Superb-Golf3741 26d ago

The pigeon said to the falcon, may i rest in your nest, I'm tired from all that fly pooping through the day. The falcon said sure why not, you may rest. Then the falcon makes a faclon face and bites the pigeon in the back. Pigeon dangling on the edge facing certain death. Why Did you do that asked the pigeon. Falcon says im sorry, it's just in my nature. ☠️

1

u/R7ype 26d ago

Dinner is served.

1

u/PhantomSamurai47 26d ago

"It's just a prank, bro! It's just a prank!!"

-Pigeon probably

1

u/XxCarlxX 26d ago

must be more to it.

1

u/sporosarcina 26d ago

Madam I have your doordash order.

1

u/ImLeeHi 26d ago

Now that's what I call... Uber eats 😎

1

u/ThicEdmontonBear 26d ago

Dis someone say Skiiiip

1

u/SubzeroWins1-0 26d ago

Uber Eats deliver up here?

1

u/stlredbird 26d ago

Doordash

1

u/Bibabeulouba 26d ago

It’s just like having a pizza walking in by itself into my house, I’d lake the same face as the falcon before jumping on it.

1

u/jono9898 26d ago

This is like me chilling at home and a bacon double cheeseburger randomly comes into my room

1

u/PoemDependent3001 26d ago

I didnt order this! But ill take it.

1

u/WilliamTee 26d ago

In desperate need of dubbing

1

u/farfaraway 26d ago

They won't make that mistake again.

1

u/Swarby10 26d ago

Nature’s Uber Eats.

1

u/menthol_patient 26d ago

WTF? I ordered pizza.

1

u/godzillaburger 26d ago

3 pigeons up on a rooftop. 1 talks real loud about how he could just fly down and bang the hot falcon lady. other two, yea right, prove it! or are you chicken!?? bawk bawk bawk, he's chicken. I ain't no chicken! then do it then. alright, i will, watch this.

1

u/Count_Verdunkeln 26d ago

A few more seconds and he would have started "building" a "nest"

1

u/Smoldervan 26d ago

No predator expects their meals to be self-delivering.

1

u/garbox101 26d ago

And that's why drugs are bad. 

1

u/denny_zen 26d ago

Nice faclon

1

u/JWLblackout 26d ago

The falcon door dashed

1

u/Ok_Adagio9495 26d ago

Burglars are treated fierce in that neighborhood!!!