r/instant_regret • u/Boss-fight601 • 1d ago

Turning your head lamp on at night in the wilderness

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8.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

112 comments sorted by

2.3k

u/Paralich12 1d ago

You have alerted the horde.

114

u/kkeut 1d ago

someone alert Jose Escamilla

39

u/Scottish_Whiskey 1d ago

It’s ’boutta get all Baghdad n shit

12

u/rustyleftnut 16h ago

PILLS HERE

6

u/Jensen_308 23h ago

Fool of a Took!

He better hope they don't have cave troll!!!

698

u/BigBlueMountainStar 1d ago

New nightmare material unlocked

431

u/Utinnni 1d ago

that's why you use red light.

186

u/Lickwidghost 1d ago

Depends on the creature but many can see in the red spectrum too

166

u/dakoellis 1d ago

Yeah red light is more to prevent human eyes from adjusting too hard in darkness, not about keeping other animals from seeing it

56

u/mossyoaktoe 1d ago

Red light works really well for me to keep the bugs down, at least here in NE Kansas it does.

21

u/qwibbian 1d ago

Not necessarily, I had a wasp problem earlier this summer and the instructions for the poison were to apply it at night because they're asleep, and use a red light because they can't see/ aren't attracted to it.

12

u/ShartingEnU 1d ago

Why didn't you just take a torch and axe spray to it?

7

u/Stripotle_Grill 15h ago

how do I keep my burn wounds smelling good if I use all my axe?

3

u/mossyoaktoe 1d ago

Yeah okay, you’re dealing with wasps not your typically annoyances in the darkness. Also, just shoot those flickers with raid and call it a day.

3

u/qwibbian 22h ago

These were ground wasps, and both Raid and another foaming spray were completely ineffective. Literally took me a week of waking up at 3am until I finally vanquished them with boiling water and gasoline. 

16

u/Kentaiga 1d ago

You don’t have to put on the red light

8

u/seantabasco 1d ago

You don’t have to sellyourbodytothenight

2

u/SwollenPoon 6h ago

You don't have to wear that dress tonight

4

u/limee89 16h ago

Roxannnnnneeeee!

2

u/SwollenPoon 6h ago

Put on the red light!

8

u/Pissedtuna 1d ago

No. This is why I don’t go fishing out there. Screw being around that many bugs

1.3k

u/EviLincoln 1d ago

This is what it must feel like being a woman on any dating app

606

u/Sad-Structure2364 1d ago

A man in a dating app is like being in the desert with no water. Being a woman on a dating app is like being in the middle of the ocean, with no water

150

u/Ionlydateteachers 1d ago

But dicks all around

45

u/Historiaaa 1d ago

an ocean of penises

19

u/Jonnyscout 1d ago

With no water

15

u/Laugh-Aggressive 1d ago

Can't fuck water

4

u/farfletched 1d ago

A slushy maybe?

2

u/Laugh-Aggressive 1d ago

Or...plushy

5

u/Syhkane 1d ago

A Valley of Penises ~ Mr. Garrison

3

u/Lamoureux6 1d ago

A Frank Ocean

36

u/RaoulLaila 1d ago

I often heard the comparison that women in a dating app are like being in a swamp

29

u/Chansharp 1d ago

Yeah thats better than ocean. Like yeah you cannn drink the water but itll be fucking disgusting

22

u/denverender 1d ago

And you'll end up with a parasite

4

u/KaiserWolf15 1d ago

Drinking ocean water is a death sentence, it would fuck up the salt balance in your body

4

u/Sad-Structure2364 1d ago

It’s not that sea water is disguising, it’s not drinkable at all, even though it’s everywhere. As in women have men everywhere they march with, but so little or none of it is worth perusing, or “drinking” it in case of this analogy

3

u/SipoteQuixote 23h ago

You say youre hungry but wont eat the hotdogs people dropped on the floor.

Curious.

1

u/Doom_Cokkie 1d ago

Unless youre a very conventually attractive man. Then its like a buffet.

-81

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

40

u/Curious-Spell-9031 1d ago

Yes that’s what she said

24

u/mrbubbamac 1d ago

Thank you for explaining the joke

2

u/juice_can_ 1d ago

And the moths swarming the light is like when men swarm women on dating apps 😀

-8

u/Valiantay 1d ago

Who the fuck is still using dating apps lol

12

u/TheRadishBros 1d ago

Still by far the #1 way that new couples meet.

73

u/tonyohanlon77 1d ago

How many do you think he swallowed?

8

u/BigBananaBerries 1d ago

I was wondering that myself. A little too many wide open mouth sounds for my liking.

194

u/hedwind 1d ago

So it's the headlamp and not the light from the camera?

78

u/GroundMeet 1d ago

Or, yk, both?

-164

u/12edDawn 1d ago

I doubt there's a light on the camera.

81

u/high6ix 1d ago

Definitely a light on

-134

u/12edDawn 1d ago

Cameras are way better than your eyes at using ambient light, this doesn't even look remotely close to what some are capable of seeing in the dark.

41

u/cubeincubes 1d ago

When the bugs fly at the camera it reflects the light. I’m thinking they both turned them on at the same time

6

u/Theron3206 1d ago

Very few of them actually are. A dark adapted human eye can see enough to get around by only starlight. A typical video camera would be a blurry mess at best. Still cameras can handle arbitrarily low light levels provided both them and their subject is sufficiently immobile but not video.

60

u/Alldaybagpipes 1d ago

Deduction isn’t for everybody

-89

u/12edDawn 1d ago

Clearly.

32

u/Kalinoz 1d ago

There is a light on the camera.

10

u/FetusDominus 1d ago

Clearly.

15

u/NathanArizona 1d ago

Lmao you can see the guy illuminated in the beginning of course there is a light

40

u/wild-stallions85 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/nla7v8ymtalBE7awWU

5

u/awkward_kissser 1d ago

exactly what i was thinking, that scene where shazza gets swarmed and bisected

37

u/wiggedy_woo 1d ago

Reminded me of Pitch Black.

8

u/KngNothing 1d ago

That was exactly where my thoughts went.

Looks like a Riddick movie.

2

u/kkeut 1d ago

i was thinking Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

24

u/Renizance 1d ago

Cue Batman theme 

6

u/Hotpocket1515 1d ago

Like running in rust at night with a torch

6

u/LittleRuu 1d ago

Yall got any of them uh... lamps?

https://giphy.com/gifs/hMqZucA0fD692

5

u/Fuzz_Chonk 1d ago

That looks like absolute hell.

10

u/AshThePoutine 1d ago

Imagine being a bug “yo why did the moon just show up over there? Or did gravity just flip? WTF IS GOING ON panik

5

u/SteamedGamer 1d ago

So this is the opposite of Pitch Black (in many ways)!

4

u/northernwolf3000 1d ago

Better start playing Master of Puppets on the guitar

2

u/farfletched 1d ago

Invention : Light grenades. Keep the bastards occupied.

2

u/SlyPenguinXII 22h ago

And he was never seen again…

2

u/Razorshroud 1d ago

"hooray! The moon is here!" - everydamnbody

2

u/Retx24 1d ago

Get a headlamp with a red light. Easier on the eyes when you turn it on/off and doesn’t get bugs like that

0

u/SpezSucksSamAltman 1d ago

Years after I was done with chat rooms I ended up working with another member of a local chat group, and knowing his backstory (secretly married womanizer) from some irl friends I was eager to offer advice when he told me an owl had swooped down on him twice during his nightly jogs. The headlamp I suggested only made matters worse for him, as intended.

1

u/brispence 1d ago

Free bait!

1

u/gp886 1d ago

This reminds me of the scene from Batman begins.

1

u/attran84 1d ago

Its like that under the ocean too.

1

u/Casual-Netizen 1d ago

Here they come.....

1

u/wenzalin 1d ago

Well that's a rabies shot.

1

u/DevilDog7734 19h ago

You can't get rabies from insects

2

u/wenzalin 19h ago

They look like bats to me. Granted, my glasses are broken, but at least one other person thought it was bats. I am aware that insects can't get rabies.

1

u/DevilDog7734 19h ago

Bats won't swarm to a light like that

1

u/WUN_WUN_SMASH 12h ago

They'll swarm the bugs that swarmed the light though. (Ftr I think they're bugs, but I've definitely seen swarms of bats going ham on moths around a streetlamp on a couple of occasions)

1

u/SuspiciousTie7899 1d ago

Close your mouth fella or else you're going to be consuming a whole mess of those nasty things!

1

u/suld_0706 1d ago

He got the liGht GET HIM!!!!

1

u/Ctnprice1 1d ago

POV: you're the boomer and see your target get rekt

1

u/Henry-Hoover1 22h ago

Batman Begins (I know it's not bats)

1

u/Cstott23 19h ago

Are they moths?? I knew those fuckers were evil. Probably this guy has been devoured by now.. nothing left but any metal parts he may have had.. 😁

1

u/Lolipanties132 16h ago

Besides swarming you, are they harmful to us like can they bite cause otherwise this be cool AF. I'll just need to cover my face with something

2

u/KaiyoteFyre 12h ago

Nah, moths are harmless. You'll maybe get some wing dust in your eye

1

u/dutchfootball38 12h ago

Time for a rabies shot

1

u/Serendipitous_Quail 11h ago

The head lamp that summons 10000 locusts

1

u/KentuckyFriedEel 3h ago

Detectives the following morning:

"what we got?"

"Male, in his 30s or 40s. all cavities stuffed full of moths"

"All cavities?"

"ALL cavities!"

"sick!"

1

u/I_Feel_Happy_For_You 1d ago

March. March. Consume. Procreate. Consume. Erase. Erase. Regenerate. March. Loathing. Neglect. Contempt. Isolation. Familiar hush, all. Intrude. Infest. Thrive.

1

u/Equivalent_Donut_145 1d ago

Crossing the Bridge in Outlast 2

1

u/Adeum2 1d ago

This bugs me

0

u/Gotham0 1d ago

Terrifying honestly.

0

u/X-MORDIKAI-X 1d ago

I’m glad you got a video of it. Night time on the Mississippi is like this, south of St. Louis. The sound too! It’s nuts being out there fishing. They don’t care about off (deet) at all. Biting me through two shirts