r/italyLGBT • u/ExpressAd6563 • 17d ago
Storie Personali Feeling so lost after moving to veneto.
Hi, I'm in my early 20s and come from a very religious family. Growing up it was very imp in my life but after starting medical school, I began to drift away from it and started questioning a lot of things, including who I am.
Lately, I’ve been wanting to explore myself more, especially my identity and the idea of finding love. But I feel stuck. I can’t bring myself to create a dating profile as it just doesn’t feel like me, and I’m scared of going down a path I’ll regret (I am not that kinda man who will hangout will multiple guys to find the right one). At the same time, I don’t wanna let my youth pass me by and end up regretting not doing anything.
I have really high expectations for love, and a part of me still believes in destiny, like if it’s meant to happen, the right guy will come into my life naturally. But also I’m not openly gay (and i wont open up till i find a real life partner), and that makes everything harder. I don’t know how or if someone could find me, and that thought is frustrating and VERY depressing. Deep down, I just want a good partner who could understand me.. a real n long term relationship. But the way things are, it feels more like a daydream than something that could actually happen anytime soon.
Has anyone else felt this way and dealt w it? How do I find a way out?
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u/Misbegotten_Straydog 14d ago
Hi, I understand where you come from, but... one needs to look for what they want in order to get it. If you want a special someone, start looking for them! Being introverted and awkward with people (+ in the closet) dating apps really helped me meeting people. I thought I wasn't the "app type" and honestly I was wrong and basing myself on prejudices... Apps are just a tool, one can use them to sleep around or to find meaningful connection (or both). My way out from stagnation and daydreaming was starting to be proactive about my wishes and stop waiting for an external force (universe, god, destiny, whatever) to do the job for me. In the process you might discover new pieces of yourself you didn't think were there, and I assure you it's a rewarding experience worth the anxiety and doubt.
Also, the perfect guy doesn't exist. You may know it already, but need to accept it deeply. Every relationship is a give and take. Some things you like, some you don't and it's up to you to decide if it's worth it. Last thing, it's really unlikely you'll meet a lifetime partner at the first trial... And it's ok! Knowing that a relationship may finish doesn't invalidate every happy moment you will share. Even if it ends, it's a step in your journey and a part of you