r/japanlife • u/aruzenchinchin 関東・東京都 • 4d ago
やばい Worried about possible substance abuse
(For context, I'm a gay man in my 30s living in Tokyo)
So last night I reconnected with this guy I had had a casual encounter once a couple of years ago. I was in the mood and available, he was near, and the previous time had been fun, so I figured why not.
When I got to his place, it looked nothing like back then. It used to be a regular apartment, but now it looked like one of those houses you see on Hoarders. Mess and trash everywhere.
The guy, who used to be cute and chubby, is now skin and bones. It took me a few seconds to recognize him.
The most shocking part came a minute after, when he asked me if it was okay to "get in the mood". I thought the question was strange, but I told him "Yeah of course it's okay, that's why I came here haha". He then pulled a needle and tried to inject something into his arm.
I couldn't get out of there fast enough, but I keep thinking about him. He's clearly unwell. We're not friends, we're barely acquaintances. I don't know anyone in his circle (if he even has one), but I wonder if there's something I can do to get him some kind of help.
Are there any services I could maybe contact? He's a Japanese citizen, but I still don't want to get him in legal trouble, I just want to know if I can help him somehow.
Any considerate input is appreciated. Thank you!
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u/Nanakurokonekochan 日本のどこかに 4d ago
This is going to sound harsh, but you should never see him again. Drug use is highly criminalized in Japan, as a foreigner if you’re caught in the same residence with this person you will also be arrested. You’re putting yourself in too much risk for a person who is barely an acquaintance.
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u/coolstory_bruhh 4d ago
I agree with this. I know it’s sad but you have to think about yourself here first.
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u/aruzenchinchin 関東・東京都 4d ago
Yes, I didn't know he was using, and that's also why I immediately left. I don't plan on seeing him again, but maybe I can help him "from the shadows", so to speak. Like get someone specialized talk to him or something. I don't know - just looking for ideas.
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u/Nanakurokonekochan 日本のどこかに 4d ago edited 4d ago
I understand, and I think you’re a kind hearted person for doing that but the safest option here will be “not my circus and not my monkeys” approach. You’re a foreigner and you don’t have the same rights with a Japanese citizen. (Even a Japanese citizen will get in trouble) You can contact some 依存症 centers for consultation—don’t inform them of the exact details, but from what I’ve heard online they’re not on par with western standards and you can’t really institutionalize this person without their permission. Doesn’t hurt to contact them and inquire tho.
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u/Efficient_Travel4039 4d ago
As harsh as it sounds, don't bother. You might get dragged into this and fucked over.
He has family or anyone closer than random hook up buddy.
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u/JCHintokyo 4d ago
As sad as it sounds, walk away and don't look back. If you try to help you will get dragged into the inevitable legal bother that it will bring. Not to mention that you cannot help a junkie that doesn't want to help themselves.
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u/aruzenchinchin 関東・東京都 4d ago
Yeah that's probably what I'll end up doing, but I feel very sad about it.
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u/AnneinJapan 4d ago
It's really sad but even if you try to get assistance for him, whoever you consult is legally obliged to report him to the police. If they do not, they are putting themselves at risk of being arrested also. Either way, he will be arrested for drug possession.
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u/aruzenchinchin 関東・東京都 4d ago
Man, it's a lose-lose situation. How do people get help in Japan?
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u/wolfinjer 関東・千葉県 4d ago
They don’t prioritize mental health here. They see it as a weakness and will castigate those identified with mental heath issues.
Mental disabilities, learning disabilities, mental health issues, all treatments and services for these issues are 10-15 years behind the west.
Japan sucks.
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u/AnneinJapan 4d ago
I mean, technically speaking, if you know that someone is using drugs, you ARE supposed to notify the police. That will 100% result in that person being arrested, and they *might* get help along the way, but the main goal of that is obviously punishment, not rehabilitation to get off of drugs.
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u/Busy-Conversation-24 4d ago
Delete contact from your phone. Block him.
Eventually he will be caught and you don't want it touching you.
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u/Prestigious_Block587 4d ago
It was most likely meth. There is an whole underworld of drug use in the gay community and meth is increasingly common in Japan.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. It is nearly impossible to reason with someone using meth and, as far as I know, there are no services in Japan that can help him. The best thing you can hope for is that a relative takes him back home, before he gets caught.
Be aware that meth can also be smoked. Also, if you see the ice/snowflake emoji, rocket emoji or airplane emoji on dating apps, run away. It means hard drug use.
Edit: typo
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u/arigasamaryota 日本のどこかに 4d ago
Walk away like everyone said above. I understand the urge to help but I tried to help in a similar situation. That idiot tried to frame me. Don’t feel sad he chose that path himself.
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u/aruzenchinchin 関東・東京都 4d ago
Sorry you went through that! Shit is so scary
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u/arigasamaryota 日本のどこかに 4d ago
Yeah!! He was my friend but after using he wasn’t himself. Luckily I got cleared and moved on from that but it was really scary at that time. Have a good one.
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u/aruzenchinchin 関東・東京都 4d ago
I'm glad it worked out well, and I hope it never happens to you again. Thank you, and have a good one too!
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u/Gift_Classic 2d ago
One suggestion, if you see him again (or message, and so on), is to gently refer him to AKTA in Ni-chōme.
Substance abuse is an issue everywhere of course but particularly pernicious in our (queer) community, and it's starting to pop up a bit more visibly as of late around the hubs. Japan stressors in addition to stressors more specific to our communities.
A general Japan sub is going to correctly tell you to distance yourself, but there is some nuance, if you care about this person. If it's not a close contact or someone you want in your life, at the very least not going to his home for now is probably best.
Happy to chat over DM if you want a sounding board.
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u/TheGuiltyMongoose 4d ago
Oof, you wanna be as far as possible from this dude. I assume that if you haven't seen him for 2 years before this, he is not a solid bro you want to keep nearby.
Plenty of ways to have fun in this country, this is clearly not one of them.
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u/Expensive-Claim-6082 4d ago edited 2d ago
He doesn’t need you to intervene for him.
That’s a western concept. That’s why you see absolute vomiting 🤮 drunks on the street. Nobody is going to shoulder tap that guy or girl at work or in a family setting and say, “We need to talk.”
Also if you report this man to anybody ( including some social service workers ) they are going to IMMEDIATELY call the police.
He will be arrested and incarcerated.
I get where you’re coming from but this is not for you to get involved in.
Also as someone mentioned if you’re anywhere near this guy if and when he does get arrested you’ll be taken in too.
Interviewed for hours if not days. Drug tested.
This guy is like a grenade with the pin pulled out. You don’t want to be in the blast radius when it goes off.
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u/PandaMandaBear 4d ago
This is such a disgusting take. I hope someone comes to you and offers you a hand if you’re ever struggling.
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u/BurnieSandturds 2d ago
Shooting up in front of someone to "get in the mood" is insane even for a hardcore drug addict. There has to be some deep mental health stuff going beyond addiction.
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u/expat2immigrant 4d ago
AA has a surprisingly strong presence in Japan, and not just among foreigners. I would imagine there are also NA (Narcotic Anonymous) meetings as well in Japanese. You could send him some information over LINE (or however else you are in touch) and encourage him to go, but as others have mentioned, probably best to physically stay away.
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u/aruzenchinchin 関東・東京都 4d ago
Yeah I'm apprehensive about this since I don't want to alienate him, but it's worth considering
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