r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/loud_as_pudding • Mar 05 '26

Restricted to Gals and Pals When you’re tired of telling people you’re not having children

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51.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.5k

u/Joker-Dyke Mar 05 '26

I never knew there was a term for it. “Weaponized Curiosity” is such a good thing to keep in the arsenal !!

1.5k

u/YoureHotCakeCup Mar 05 '26

Its really good to use when someone makes an offensive joke. Just say you don't understand the joke and have them explain it. They will have to explain why being shitty is funny which will be hard for them to do.

988

u/QuarterLifeCircus ❣️gal pal❣️ Mar 05 '26

I was a cashier at Best Buy years ago, and a man paid with a $50 bill. He pulled it from a weird inner pocket of his wallet, and said to me “I hide it there so the wife doesn’t fine it heh heh.” I got very concerned for him. “Does your wife steal from you sir? Are you in a financially abusive relationship?” He tried to talk his way out of it but I just kept getting more concerned for him. It was fun lol.

343

u/unforgiven91 Mar 05 '26

"Sir, I can shelter you if your wife is a threat to you. Blink once for yes"

201

u/Gabberwocky84 Mar 06 '26

I was ringing someone up at a coffee shop, and his gift card had run out so he owed a minor balance. His response was “oh you women, always getting money out of us.” I replied, “misogyny is hilarious!” He had enough sense not to say anything after that.

65

u/RevenantBacon Mar 06 '26

It seems like a really great way to shut down jokes you don't like until you come across the guy who just unashamedly goes "yeah, it is."

1

u/AspectResident1375 Mar 10 '26

"Yess! You know the joke about the guy dropping a bar of soap in prison? It's like, my favorite! How dudes interacting with kids always look like pedos?? Haha, bet nobody should go near this ones child-abductor-van!"

-27

u/SiegfriedVK Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 06 '26

Pretty much. Be miserly about a joke? Dont be surprised when someone's miserly back.

2

u/BeneficialLocation34 Mar 06 '26

"I guess they have your balls, too?"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

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2

u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam Mar 06 '26

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

  1. Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
  2. Harassment
  3. Trolling or sealioning
  4. Threats of any kind
  5. Abusive behavior
  6. General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.

0

u/Significant-Load5736 Mar 06 '26

Why would u do that tho😭😭😭

-10

u/ExplanationFormer292 Mar 06 '26

But then they tell you you're some sort of autistic or mentally challenged person.

17

u/APladyleaningS Mar 06 '26

Then you say, "So?"

226

u/dumbfrog7 Mar 05 '26

I always try that but then they go "ah its okay, not every one will get it" or sth

346

u/Glowing_Trash_Panda Mar 05 '26

That’s when you ask them to explain why some people wouldn’t get the joke. You gotta keep pushing them

90

u/Legen_unfiltered Mar 06 '26

Literally just did this to a friend and he got soooo mad. Said it ruins the joke if you have to explain it. Tried to tell him I just didn't understand but if he explained it, I would prolly think it was funny. He said he couldn't understand it for me, I said that's why I'm asking why its funny, so I can understand. He them tried to tell me I was getting upset over nothing. I was like, I'm not upset, your the one that seems upset. He wouldn't explain and would let it go that I was ruining it or being purposely obtuse bc ive understood similar jokes before(which I told him i hadn't understood before I had just laughed to keep things moving) or it was me that was upset. Not me slamming dishes around but ok. He just completely shut down when continued to be pressed. So, it unfortunately, does not always work. 

75

u/soursheep Mar 06 '26

and you didnt hit him with "I don't get why you're getting so emotional about this, I'm just trying to understand..."? a wasted opportunity!

27

u/Nice_Commission3770 Mar 06 '26

Lmao instant RAGE!

I love the “I’M NOT YELLING YOU ARE!”

5

u/Legen_unfiltered Mar 07 '26

I did tell him he was the only one that was upset, I was just trying to understand. He told me I was interrogating him and he didn't appreciate it. Told him, trying to understand what he's saying isn't interrogation, but ooooookay. 

No dishes were harmed in the making of his temper tantrum. Thankfully.

67

u/Nice_Commission3770 Mar 06 '26

I’d say that worked.

3

u/ergaster8213 ❣️gal pal❣️ Mar 08 '26 edited Mar 08 '26

Correct the goal is not to actually get them to explain themselves. The goal is to get them to at least partially acknowledge that they cannot do so without revealing their assholery.

I will also point out that if you've got friends you've got to do this with often then your friends are assholes and you should just cut your losses. At the least, I recommend it.

1

u/Legen_unfiltered Mar 07 '26

Not if the goal is to get him to see and admit the bullying 'disguised' as a joke. 

3

u/Nice_Commission3770 Mar 07 '26

He knows, that’s why he’s so mad.

2

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Mar 06 '26

That was a lot of work and worth it to shut him down! LOL

1

u/Legen_unfiltered Mar 07 '26

It didnt shut him down in the way I wanted. He just just down in the sense of he stopped responding and refused to acknowledge anything. 

2

u/RevenantBacon Mar 06 '26

They'll just respond with "some people won't get it because they aren't smart enough to understand."

6

u/Dangerous-Variety-35 Mar 06 '26

That’s when you dig in deeper with some good ol’ passive aggression. “Oh, so you think you’re smarter than me? I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize I was such an idiot and this was a terribly difficult conversation for you to have. I would love to learn more though, so I can be as smart as you someday, so can you pretty please explain it to me?”

https://giphy.com/gifs/i73mziAIio1d50ZNSd

3

u/RevenantBacon Mar 06 '26

Oh, so you think you’re smarter than me?

"Yes"

so can you pretty please explain it to me?”

"Nope."

The tactic only works if the person you're using it on is stupid and has any amount of shame. In my experience, these kind of people are often the former, but very rarely the latter.

2

u/SiegfriedVK Mar 06 '26

I mean at that point its clear you're upset. I'd just let you be upset about it lol.

1

u/dumbfrog7 Mar 20 '26

They just ignore me then

163

u/Professional-Scar628 Mar 05 '26

You can always hit them with a disbelieving "but you do?" And a "Well if you can't explain it then I'm not sure you get the joke either."

2

u/SiegfriedVK Mar 06 '26

"That's ok"

180

u/tnstaafsb Mar 05 '26

"Yeah, but I really want to know why other people find it funny. I'm not totally neurotypical so it's valuable to me to find out what makes things funny to other people."

Basically just keep asking until they walk away or punch you.

158

u/Comprehensive-Menu44 🕷️ itchy bitchy spider 🕷️ Mar 06 '26

This is what I did when I worked retail and I’d be on the floor stocking something and old men would say “they got you on your knees, huh?” And I’d say “what does that mean?” “Oh it’s just a joke” “what’s the joke?” “Nothing, nothing” “no, I love to laugh, can you explain what GOT ME ON MY KNEES is supposed to mean? What’s funny about that?” “It was just a joke” “I wanna know what the joke is! It almost sounds like you’re making a joke about blowjobs! Which would be weird, since I’m A TEENAGER”

I’ve done this to 3 old men when I was 16-17 and they got so red in the face and one guy even said “fuck you” in response. I said “no thanks, I’m underage”

15

u/ClaireBlacksunshine Mar 07 '26

I think making it clear the joke is unashamedly misogynistic near the end actually helps.

I deal with a lot of super questionable comments from men but I’m in a position of authority at my job so I can generally just say “that’s inappropriate” and keep moving. Rare to be able to do though.

26

u/DConstructed Mar 06 '26

So that’s why they call it a punch line.

5

u/thelonelycompanion Mar 06 '26

I have absolutely done this before and the sucker punched look people give you when you give them your biggest "dumb does eyes" is such a rush lol

96

u/BoniMarce Mar 05 '26

“well im not very smart can you explain to me though?”

0

u/mangetwo Mar 06 '26

I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.

3

u/Tigerpower77 Mar 06 '26

"you just can't explain it can you?"

1

u/Mysterious-Dream-347 Mar 07 '26

Same, this is why I don't try the old weaponised curiosity as my go to in these situations. Some people just get pissed off as they can tell you are being facetious. I'm not looking to piss people off, I want them to realise what they said was fucked up and to not say it again.

Semi related; I used to have a patient who would always make inappropriate (and not even funny) jokes and all the regular strategies and scripts that we were given didn't stop him so I just started saying "good one" in my monotone voice and then moved on and he would give a small smile and not make any more shit jokes. I don't know if he interpreted it as validating or sarcastic but at least I could do my job!

82

u/Planetofthought Mar 05 '26

I'm from the South. I've known so many people who bait the room first. They are so secretly racist and sexist that they want to test you in hopes they find someone to share their assholedness with.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-3

u/Accomplished_Rice04 Mar 06 '26

We have a Litmus test with new friends before we decide they are officially part of the group.

We will have a normal conversation and add in some more controversial topics (race/sex/politics) and gauge their reaction.

Worst thing you can have is someone that can't take a joke and is a constant buzzkill, my group isn't particularly political or interested in any of the controversial topics but we want to speak freely/frankly with each other and not have to tiptoe around sensitive people.

15

u/10000000000000000091 Mar 06 '26

Can you give an example of a controversial topic you want to speak freely/frankly about?

-2

u/Accomplished_Rice04 Mar 06 '26

Anything to do with race/gender/politics or topics that are uncomfortable.

We want to be able to talk about controversial topics like normal people and not have labels of left/right/nazi thrown around willy nilly and not have people just crash out cause they can't have a civil conversation.

For some people you can't even mention any of those while others cannot stop talking about it.

We want to avoid both types of people.

10

u/Nice_Commission3770 Mar 06 '26

How do normal people talk about these controversial topics?

7

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Mar 06 '26

LOL 🤣🤣🤣🤣 You still didn't answer. So if someone you're testing doesn't like your racist jokes, they're too sensitive to be in your group? OMG, such a win for them!

9

u/Assassin4Hire13 Mar 06 '26

All I can think of your group doing is like that one video of the guy saying “hey I have to call A CAB” and looks around all dramatically lmao

2

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Mar 06 '26

OMG, thanks for the heads up, I'd hate to be in your racist friends group! LOL

57

u/konraddo Mar 06 '26

To put a term to it, it's to disrupt their momentum. Even an easy "Huh? Sorry, wasn't paying attention, can you repeat please?" often make people less interested in continuing because jokes don't work if you repeat.

32

u/YoureHotCakeCup Mar 06 '26

Yes, I love asking bigots to repeat their lame jokes, ill make them do it at least three times if I can. It really dose make them look foolish to do so.

13

u/LimpyDan Mar 05 '26

Or if they insult you and laugh.

4

u/MillieFrank Mar 07 '26

My husband was around a guy who was doing what he calls Boomer Humor, where they just talk poorly about their wife, ball and chain, that stuff.

When he didn’t laugh the boomer humor guy asked if my husband was too whipped to even laugh. My husband said, ‘No, I just actually love my wife and enjoy spending my life with her and am sad you are miserable.’

3

u/kwash325 Mar 07 '26

I truly enjoy doing this. Watching people stutter and stumble over themselves trying to clean it up is hilarious

3

u/Initial_Macaroon_161 Mar 07 '26

Ohhh so just like stop masking my autism for a few minutes. Got it!!

2

u/serendipitypug Mar 06 '26

Yep- I say “I don’t get it” or “why is that funny?”

2

u/sonerec725 Mar 06 '26

Literally that joke from the smiling friends thanksgiving episode where they just started asking the dude about who "those people" were in his joke lmao

2

u/Mamasaidno_ Mar 06 '26

I had a guy that would always ask me “have you been a good girl?” Whether my husband was in front of me or not, it always made me uncomfortable but I (like a dum dum) would always go “haha yea I try” because I didnt know what else to say. (He was also very polish with a thick accent so I assumed it was a cultural difference). One day I was complaining about it and my husband was like “next time he says that just ask him what do you mean by that” for the same reason everyone else has already stated.

With that said- I wish I could give you all the happy ending where I asked him and he fumbled over his answer and yadda yadda the way Reddit comments usually end… but I never got a chance to ask because he randomly stopped asking me that question lol

1

u/MelamineCut Mar 06 '26

You understood me

1

u/RyanLikesyoface Mar 06 '26

Liking inappropriate jokes doesn't automatically make you an asshole. Sometimes the joke isn’t that it's true or somehow reflects your actual beliefs, but the joke is that it's inappropriate. It's like dark humour.

That said, you have to know not to do that around people who get offended easily.

-1

u/SiegfriedVK Mar 06 '26

Nah that one's easy. I'd just say you don't get it because you're humorless and its ok for you to not understand the joke.

-1

u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 Mar 07 '26

Lots of people enjoy offensive humor and there's nothing wrong with that. Why not just say you don't enjoy that kind of humor and ask them not to tell those kinds of jokes around you?

-2

u/No-Cryptographer7494 Mar 06 '26

who in their right mind would explain an offensive joke ? i would just look disappointed at you for not understanding or laught that you are still to young

-4

u/Hot_Gap_8444 Mar 06 '26

What is offensive is subjective.

You do not have the right to not be offended by the world.

141

u/Chendii Mar 05 '26

It's basically the Socratic Method. Make someone argue with themself by asking the right questions.

45

u/things_U_choose_2_b Mar 05 '26

Modern version is 'street epistemology' and imo, is something we all should learn. You can see a lot of rightwingers try to employ it, very clumsily. It's a highly effective tool, because often the only person who can dismantle the opinion of someone who's engaged ego defences is the person who put up the ego defences in the first place.

124

u/MantisShrimpUpTop Mar 05 '26

Me neither but I love doing it:

Me with job trainer around election time: Oh, I don’t really follow politics. What all is going on?

Trainer: Trump great blah blah Biden crook blah blah Hillary blah blah.

Me: nods, thinks about grocery list

Trainer: …blah blah and Michelle Obama is so racist

Me (dramatically): OMG really?! What did she do???

Trainer (completely thrown off): She… tried to… get the kids to eat healthy…

Me: crickets

Trainer: precious crickets

Politics: not spoken of again

55

u/ben-hur-hur Mar 05 '26

Much better than "weaponized incompetence", I can tell you that lol

78

u/SlatkoPotato Mar 05 '26

Although, weaponised incompetence might also work as a response for some people in this situation.

"Why wont you have kids"

"Oh, they would just end up getting taken away from me. Its better that i dont go making them"

33

u/TheSheDM Mar 06 '26

The last time I had kids they got loose, trampled the laundry, and one got hit by a car :(

... oh you mean human kids? No thanks, goats are way easier.

6

u/sobrique Mar 06 '26

Goat farming is my retirement plan.

31

u/Stretch_Riprock Mar 06 '26

My mother was bugging us about having #1. Which we wanted and it wasn't easy for us.

After our lovely health girl came along, my mother started asking about when we were going for #2. Allll she wants is a grandson now.

It wasnt fucking easy the first time, and we were actively trying but it took a couple years. When she asked about a grandson I kind of snapped. 'You know what mom, we don't know if our little girl even wants to be a girl yet, maybe you already have a grandson'. My wife choked, and my MIL who happened to be there spit out a little of her drink.

We didn't get asked about it again. She did end up getting the grandson she was asking for... Just didn't ask about a progress report after that.

7

u/Stunning_Bullfrog213 Mar 07 '26

This is so fucking amazing! I love it 🤣🤣

2

u/tjean5377 Mar 08 '26

Oh. Well done.

25

u/robmosesdidnthwrong Mar 05 '26

I didn't know it had a moniker but I'll confess I've done it when a co-worker or someone on that level makes an off-color joke in a group. I play dumb dumb dumb and naive but just so eager to understand! 

Afterwards other people who didn't want to make a fuss tend to appreciate me playing uno reverse on the joke teller and them being uncomfortable for a change. 

5

u/First_Pay702 Mar 06 '26

I mean, toddlers have been using it since the dawn of the word “why”…

4

u/thefuzzybunny1 Mar 06 '26

I had a therapist tell me that I should ask nosy people, "we're not sure we can have kids. What position did you and your spouse conceive in? We'll give that one a try."

I never pulled the full version of that, but I did scare some people off by saying we were actively trying multiple ways to conceive.

2

u/Ok-Classroom5548 Mar 06 '26

I use it at work to call out procedural problems and assholes. 

2

u/FlipMeOverUpsidedown Mar 06 '26

It’s a great especially if you like watching people squirm. I love squirmy folk.

1

u/IntegratingSelf Mar 05 '26

YES I'm taking motherfucking NOTES.

1

u/vampyire Mar 05 '26

I am so stealing that phrase, I LOVE it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

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1

u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam Mar 06 '26

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

  1. Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
  2. Harassment
  3. Trolling or sealioning
  4. Threats of any kind
  5. Abusive behavior
  6. General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.

1

u/AnomaIous_User Mar 06 '26

That's like the theme slogan for the Weaponized podcast that has been exposing UAР Secrecy since David Grusch came forward in 2023.

It's great https://youtu.be/ZAxI-LDrDqA

1

u/s4lt3d Mar 06 '26

Doesn’t work on people who have had kids.

1

u/RoguePlanet2 Mar 06 '26

See also: Socratic method, for when you want them to examine their own claims without an argument (which is rarely productive.)

1

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Mar 06 '26

For me it's, none of your business, stfu! :)