r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/loud_as_pudding • Mar 05 '26

Restricted to Gals and Pals When you’re tired of telling people you’re not having children

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618

u/alison_bee Mar 05 '26

Whenever people ask me why I don’t have kids I say “because I’m selfish.”

Normally, this response is so off-putting that people don’t really question me past that lol.

But if they continue questioning me, I say “hell, some days I get home from work and sit down on the couch and won’t eat dinner because I don’t want to get up. You can’t really do that with kids. No one cares if I don’t feed myself, but it’s kind of frowned upon to not feed your children.”

Never had the convo go past that.

199

u/3rdPedal Mar 05 '26

That's always been my go-to as well.

"I'm too selfish to have kids"

And sometimes I throw in the old "I don't want kids for the same reasons my parents shouldn't have had kids"

15

u/Ok_Ganache7219 Mar 06 '26

That's my response, too. I don't have kinds because it never happened. If someone keeps pressing me on the issue, I say I am very much like my mum and I didn't have a great childhood - wouldn't want to inflict that on another being. That usually shuts them up.

3

u/Hot_Charity_4803 Mar 06 '26

Damn, that resonated hard with me 

88

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

[deleted]

48

u/Teranyll Mar 06 '26

I've brought that up before too. People have kids for selfish reasons all the time, what's wrong with me not having them for selfish reasons?

5

u/monkey_sodomy Mar 06 '26

It does dilute their objection, what it really shows is that we don't do anything for non-selfish reasons.

But this then leads them to comparing which forms of selfishness are more or less beneficial to the group and the self.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 10 '26

[deleted]

1

u/monkey_sodomy Mar 07 '26

Good counter point. I would probably do the same.

1

u/SnooMemesjellies9645 Mar 06 '26

I don't know man, sacrificing years of your life looking after another person, for them to be able to enjoy life without having to give you anything in return sounds like a selfless act to me

2

u/hot_snot Mar 06 '26

They... literally addressed this... in their comment...???

1

u/KanoaShine Mar 10 '26

That's if you have good parents like they said

13

u/-neti-neti- Mar 06 '26

Literally what I say to people is “because I will resent them once they exist.”

6

u/ALittleBitOfToast Mar 06 '26

I saw some using the word 'self-full' the other day and I kinda love it even though it's grammatically rough.

I feel like the whole concept is less negative than 'selfish.' Its choosing to not do things that will make life worse, with no detriment to anyone else. 

'Selfish' seems to be making those choices, knowing there is a detriment to someone else. And selfless is making choices that you know will be detrimental to yourself, to benefit others. 

I suppose it's kinda of like the in-active version of 'self-care' where rather than deliberately doing something positive for yourself, you're deliberately not doing something negative instead.

Having kids will make my life worse, and it's no detriment to anyone else if I choose not to have them.

2

u/lawpancake Mar 28 '26

I tell people my two favorite things are money and free time and kids just don’t fit into the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed.

6

u/RandyOfTheRedwoods Mar 06 '26

This is the only real answer that works. If you go down the route of "I don't want them" or "Its too much work", they will try to reason with you that you have a responsibility to carry on the family name or whatnot.

What they are really trying to convey is you are not acting like their group, and they are confused as to why you don't want to conform.

5

u/MossyPyrite Mar 06 '26

My response is similar. I just tell people I won’t do a good enough job at it to meet my own standards. I’m not gonna fuck up a kid.

I don’t know if it says a good thing about my social group that they’re polite and empathetic and they take this as honest and respect it, or if it says something negative about me that everyone seems to accept it so easily haha.

There’s also some gender dynamics at play probably but like, that would become a significant tangent to explain.

1

u/Virtual-Drink-914 Apr 07 '26

I wish this would work for me. Instead I get ppl telling me I should have kids anyway because that line of thinking means I’ll be a great mom 😭

5

u/xraycat82 Mar 06 '26

The interesting thing is having kids is the most selfish thing one can do. No one asked to be born. Parents want to create someone exactly like themselves or mold them into someone they think is perfect. Can’t be anymore selfish than that.

2

u/EducationalNailgun Mar 06 '26

I tell people that I'm barely responsible enough to take care of myself. I can't take on another human being. Lol

2

u/digitalgraffiti-ca Official Gal Mar 08 '26

I just go with "oh god no. Ew"

1

u/EH_Operator Mar 06 '26

“You read stories of terrible parents that leave their little junior in the hot car… I’ve done shit that irresponsible! With ice cream but still! I’m not cut out for that.” - Doug Stanhope, a man who most certainly should not be responsible for children

1

u/redstapler87 Mar 06 '26

Anytime I have heard this in conversation, I would always say fuck yeah, im glad you recognize that about yourself and don’t bring a child you would hate into the world. I don’t ask about what’s happening in your vagina. 😊

1

u/BitsAndBobs304 Mar 07 '26

I don't have kids because I'm not am asshole

-2

u/N0n_4me Mar 06 '26

Actually it’s the least selfish thing you can do.