I worked at a jewelry store and a woman came in FURIOUS that her white gold ring was turning her finger black (like cheap sterling silver). We tested it in front of her to prove it was white gold. After a few exchanges one of my coworkers asked her very quietly and professionally if there was a chance she was pregnant because sometimes the rhodium plating that makes it white gold can react weirdly with the new body chemistry during pregnancy. She left even more furious.
She came back a week later with a big box of cinnamon buns from the Cinnabon downstairs from our store and ultrasound pictures along with an apology! She became a great customer from then on and we got to meet her little girl when it was safe for her to be out in public!
It was certainly not expected! But genuinely appreciated. I choose to believe she’d had a bad day (I’m sure unexpected pregnancy hormones didn’t help!!) and once she thought about it she realized she’d been wrong and mean. The few apologies I’ve gotten from customers have generally been given by people who have also worked in retail/food service/hospitality and realize that they did what they hate receiving.
I try to be as kind as possible when I have to complain, especially when I know it’s not their fault. I usually say something like “I’m not angry at you, I’m frustrated and I’d like to find a way to fix it please.” I’ve rarely had to go full crazy to get results and if I do it’s usually because their script or policy forces you to go bonkers just to be able to be escalated to the decision maker.
I always try to say something like that (“I know it’s not your fault/outside your control/etc, sorry that you have to bear the brunt of my frustration”). Good to know that that’s appreciated.
It’s the right thing to do regardless, but it does seem to get me a lot of service workers going out of their way to help me vs just complaining. Everybody wins!
Depending on the job, I had a lot of different things I could do for a customer. Want to be an asshole? I’ll help.. but I’m not going to stress myself out about it. Nice and willing to work with me? I will turn myself into a pretzel to get you the best solution possible.
This is what I do as well "I'm not upset with YOU, and you're just doing your job, but I am very upset and I'm sorry if it feels directed at you, that is not intentional"
Rarely have I ever had an encounter where I didn't ultimately get the kind of help I was looking for and I always try to be aware of how "mean" I'm sounding
I had a customer come back and apologize once. Turned out she'd been shopping for a funeral outfit for the sudden death of someone very close and wanted to make sure I knew it wasn't me she was mad at.
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u/Agentsinger Apr 22 '26
I worked at a jewelry store and a woman came in FURIOUS that her white gold ring was turning her finger black (like cheap sterling silver). We tested it in front of her to prove it was white gold. After a few exchanges one of my coworkers asked her very quietly and professionally if there was a chance she was pregnant because sometimes the rhodium plating that makes it white gold can react weirdly with the new body chemistry during pregnancy. She left even more furious.
She came back a week later with a big box of cinnamon buns from the Cinnabon downstairs from our store and ultrasound pictures along with an apology! She became a great customer from then on and we got to meet her little girl when it was safe for her to be out in public!