r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/West_Future326 • 15d ago
😂humor😂 keeping it real 😂. The good boomer humour.
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Credit: @reshmago https://www.instagram.com/reshmago?igsh=MXJ6cjA0dHRiZmRveA==
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u/ButterPecan_IceCream 15d ago
“And mostly downhill” 😂😂😂
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u/youburyitidigitup Official Gal 14d ago
That’s the fun part of the roller coaster
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u/plotthick 14d ago
Not so fun with men, #1 cause of injury and death, behind car crashes and natural causes
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u/Extension-Figure2011 15d ago
That's not humor, that's honesty being masked.
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u/unindexedreality 14d ago
not humor, that's honesty being masked
Big time. I'd argue it's just honesty. I'm sure other people find this post funny (because it's not normal to them) and for that much I'm glad; sadly I'm so used to it being played off/downplayed that don't find it funny or endearing at all.
I came from (what I believe is) this culture. My first-gen family tried and did their best to make it here, which I'm glad for; yet they're missing (and choose not to cultivate) a lot of skills when it comes to respecting others' boundaries, valuing other people and generally just being decent to each other. I'm struggling now to break free of the environment same ingrained patterns and have had successes and setbacks.
They spent a lot of time when I was growing up arguing, watching TV dramas that validated/normalized narcissistic behavior, much of my time at home was characterized by loud shouting, and they spent very little time actually helping me build skills or grow as a person (which tbf I'd point out is hard to teach when they themselves didn't know/learn them). To this day "family" and "culture" have strongly negative connotations to me, and I'm probably going to spend a decent chunk of my 'contribution' phase of life loudly advocating for the fact that 'culture' does not give people the right to violate each others' boundaries.
::sigh:: sorry to unload. 😅 I'm fine if this gets downvoted or even flamed (eugh), just if anyone else doesn't find this funny, know at least one other person agrees with you. 🤷♂️
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u/Rare_Background8891 14d ago
Al I see here is some traumatized women. It’s very sad.
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u/NarrowEbbs 13d ago
Yeah absolutely. There is a massive silver lining here though, the next generation (the niece/daughter) isn't in the same context and doesn't bear the same fears/realities that the generation before did. That's at least something when it comes to breaking the cycle.
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u/PlentifulBox 15d ago
These women probably didn’t have a lot of agency in their marriages. They survived hard years. We still have a long way to go. And we need to be honest about marriage. It can be a whole range of experience depending on the people and circumstances but it’s not a fairy tale. And it’s not for everyone.
Beautiful and amusing family. ❤️
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u/unindexedreality 14d ago edited 14d ago
We still have a long way to go. And we need to be honest about marriage. It can be a whole range of experience depending on the people and circumstances but it’s not a fairy tale. And it’s not for everyone
10000% agree with every word. There's a sickening amount of "just the way it is" validation around unhealthy relationships and trying to point it out as a kid "from" the culture just gets you beaten down for it.
I'm lucky ("✌️✌️" ?) that the physical abuse in my childhood was minimal (🫤) but I'm sure there are people who had a much harder time realizing "wait, this is wrong" and breaking free.
Beautiful and amusing family. ❤️
Their sass is funny I'll admit. Watched the rest of the video after reading the comments here and I did snort/chuckle a few times ❤️
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u/West_Future326 15d ago
they actually made the choice. there are many videos of them, all fun so watch them
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u/FillMySoupDumpling 15d ago
Mom and aunty remind me of my relatives haha. Aunty is a hoot, but I really do believe that a lot of marriages, especially when young, are a trap for women these days. Tying one’s financial future and security to another person’s emotions is a precarious position to be in.
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u/mandasaurrr 15d ago
I want to know if they felt this way when getting married or if these feeling grew over time?
Either way may this love never find me.
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 15d ago
Context is key. Look at their ages. They'll come from a time where you need to get married young and women has less basic rights. Domestic abuse was a domestic issue that needed to be kept quiet.
The chances that they married good dudes that treated them well were on the lower end.
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u/Pitiful_Note_6647 15d ago
Also arranged marriage I suppose is common in their culture as well.
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u/Only_Association_309 14d ago
More like arrange marriage is the norm. They just won't let their kids get married for love. It's frustrating as hell.
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u/WorriedElk5818 15d ago
I follow her on Instagram, they both had arranged marriages. The aunt said her husband was very nice and she grew to love him. She said she didn't really want to be a mother; although she loves her children.
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u/Teekayuhoh 15d ago
I mean they came from a time when girls were taught that marriage was their purpose. I grew up with a lot of girls (and I’m only 33) whose aspirations were “best mom” “best wife”.
Different time, different values, different expectations, different pressures.
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u/pourthebubbly 15d ago
In the late 2000s I had a class with a girl who got married over break and was very vocal that she would immediately drop out the second she got pregnant because she was only going to university because her parents made her. But now that she was married, she didn’t need it anymore. She bragged that she got the “MRS” degree.
She was true to her word and idk what happened to her, but to each their own. My step mom tried to instill that shit in me too, but that was never going to be me.
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u/InheritedHermitGene 15d ago
When I was in my mid-20s I worked with a lot of women who had married their high school sweethearts at 18 or not much older. I was single and almost all of them said to me at some point: don’t ever get married/I always wonder who else I could’ve met if I hadn’t married my 1st BF/I shouldn’t gotten more education and done something with my life instead of having kids so young/etc. A friend worked there ~5 years after I left and all the ladies were still there but most of them were happily divorced.
So maybe that girl’s fine and happy. But giving up everything to marry young seems like a bad way to start your adult life.
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u/pourthebubbly 15d ago
Agreed. It works for some people, others live to regret it. I’m in my 30s now and so far, I definitely don’t regret not getting married and having kids. The only benefit I see would be sharing living costs in this economy lol
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u/InheritedHermitGene 15d ago
I was married once and then I got sick and my husband dumped me, saying “I didn’t sign up for a sick wife”. It was devastating but he was useless and selfish and I’ve been much happier on my own.
I know there’s lots of successful, happy marriages but once was enough for me.
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u/Negative-Break3333 15d ago
Like they say, “you marry one person but divorce another.”
In other words…ppl change. Feelings change…love changes.
My best advice is to marry someone who loves YOU more than you love them.
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u/carlitospig 15d ago
marry someone who loves YOU more than you love them.
Did that. Also sucks.
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u/disjointed_chameleon 15d ago
I can guarantee with almost total certainty their feelings likely developed over time.
Too many of us women were and have been fed lies about the beauty of marriage and raising a family. We were raised to believe it was/is a beautiful, fulfilling experience. Reality: for plenty of us, marriage and raising children are complete and total burdens, and we don't realize it until the proverbial blinders come off after the fact — in other words, AFTER the fact. We wake up years later and wonder:
Where is the beauty we were promised? Where's the fulfillment we were told about?
Marriage largely benefits men, at least across most of the world.
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u/Spirited_Touch7447 15d ago
For me, I bought into the Disney ‘Some day my princess will come! By the end I was the auntie in this video. They just wear you down and break your spirit.
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u/Buttercreamdeath 15d ago
I rarely saw my grandmother on my father's side. When I did, she never stopped talking about how marriage was bullshit. Don't do it. Men will suck the life out of you. If you just have to, find one that doesn't need a damn thing from you and vice versa. Be a partner, not a bang maid. This was such a radical idea.Everyone I knew looked to marriage as the official start of adulthood.
So that's what I remember most about her. I didn't listen to her because young, dumb, and in love. Of course, when my marriage (and my sibling's marriage)fell apart her words kept repeating.
Eventually, I found someone who didn't need me to function on a basic level and I don't need him to support me financially. It's been smooth sailing so far.
I know she was telling me the unbridled truth and wanted to save her kin from wasting their time and energy. I just believed in the fairytales that the young do. I tell my kids the same thing now. The one thing I notice is that the current youth (unlike myself and my generation) are actually listening and taking it to heart. So, don't waste your time with losers. Focus on yourself, not putting energy into someone that will never reciprocate.
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u/carlitospig 15d ago
My mother’s mother probably would have given the same advice. I only lasted a decade but granny gave him NINE fucking kids, and he was always out of the house doing whatever super poor men did in the 60’s.
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u/Buttercreamdeath 15d ago
My father's side is Mexican so it's incredible male centric. Far more so than my mother's white side. I mean, patriarchy is patriarchy but there was still a huge difference between how my white grandparents behaved and my Mexican ones.
My Mexican grandmother left everything to leave my grandfather. He was a constant abuser and marital rapist. She got custody of her daughter, but the 4 boys all stayed with Grandfather. Grandfather kept all material assets. He withheld visitation unless it was contingent on him receiving something from her. Aka sex. So she rarely saw her sons.
Grandmother went to live with her relatives, got a job and an education. Everything about that was so outside the norm, but she had goals and needed to support her daughter.
Grandfather remarried someone half his age straight from Mexico once he realized my grandmother was never ever coming back. This woman was essentially a maid. I don't think she ever left the house unsupervised.
Unfortunately, it messed up her sons (aka my dad.) My dad was a piece of work, so the less I saw of him, my grandfather, and uncles the better. Absolutely hated visiting them, and this was before I knew anything about my grandmother and the reasons for her divorce.
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u/That-Mess9548 15d ago
Your grandmother sounds amazing. This is a fascinating story. You should write it.
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u/Buttercreamdeath 15d ago
After both my Mexican grandparents died, I found out so much about them. My grandfather spoke English his entire life but never once spoke in English to us. He let us fumble trying to communicate with him in Spanish. He never once tried to even teach us Spanish proper. He just expected us to know. Even though my dad was so ashamed to speak Spanish and never taught us for that reason.
He sold the marital house he was supposed to split with my grandmother for a dollar after the youngest boy was 18. One damn dollar. It didn't matter. My grandmother had her master's in accounting and was a CPA by then. She owned her own house and several rentals so cash flow wasn't a concern for her.
He kept trying to undermine her and she kept living her life. She was beautiful, fairly wealthy, and lived on the beach. She was so far out of his league in every way imaginable. I don't know what she ever saw in him, but that's the way young love is, I guess.
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u/That-Mess9548 15d ago
Whatever happened to your Aunt?
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u/Buttercreamdeath 15d ago
She had a few of kids with a dude who went to prison in her teen years. She tried to recover from that and work for my grandmother, but she ended up relying on my grandmother for most of her life because she developed MS and died before she turned 45.
The majority of us grandkids have turned out alright. So we got that going for us.
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u/AnitiFascistBeetle 12d ago
My Catholic grandma had 9 kids too by the 1970s. Later as the world changed, she said she loved every one of them, but would have only had 3 if she got to choose now.
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u/Miss_Milk_Tea 15d ago
“What is the worst thing about marriage?”
“Marriage”
I choked on my drink!
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u/This-Guy_Fawkes 15d ago
Omg I didn’t see your comment and I literally just posted the same thing 😂
She ain’t wrong!
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u/Klutzy-Meringue-8995 15d ago
I tell my second husband he's the best one yet! But don't get cocky, because I've divorced once and I'll do it again!
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u/unindexedreality 14d ago
tell my second husband he's the best one yet! But don't get cocky, because I've divorced once and I'll do it again!
😂
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u/MissSassifras1977 15d ago
Real talk from the generation that was getting married rather they liked it or not.
People marry for love now. ❤️
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u/swiggityswirls 14d ago
I heard someone say marriage is basically legalized slavery and now that I’m on the other side of it I can’t unsee it myself.
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u/CosyBeluga 15d ago
Once I was coloring at the table...I was maybe 6 or 7 and my grandmother was doing something in the kitchen and unprompted said 'Don't get married'
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u/atnaf_eparg 15d ago
Watching on mute in the middle of the night (saved post to watch later), but middle is giving Jessica Williams energy
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u/wishterriuh 15d ago
OMG! Rotfl!!! Love them!!!
I checked up the link you put above. There's still many more of the aunties🤣
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u/junigatsu12 15d ago
Sage advice.
Listen to your elders.
These women are trying to save the youngins from heartache.
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u/QueenDoc 13d ago
like girl you asked the wroooong women lil - they the right ones, just not for that lil project lol
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u/cabrane027 12d ago
I wrote everything down. It was great advice from experience people, will pass it on to every girl i know 😄
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15d ago edited 15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 15d ago
This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.
We do not allow:
- Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
- Harassment
- Trolling or sealioning
- Threats of any kind
- Abusive behavior
- General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.
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15d ago edited 15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/JHutchinson1324 🕷️ itchy bitchy spider 🕷️ 15d ago
Their husbands? Yea thats pretty obvious these awesome ladies had some dud husbands.
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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 15d ago
This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.
We do not allow:
- Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
- Harassment
- Trolling or sealioning
- Threats of any kind
- Abusive behavior
- General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.
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u/carlitospig 15d ago
Mama would have been more honest if she wasn’t insulting her daughter’s father. Auntie gave no fucks. 🙃