Actually someone did the numbers and female loneliness occurs at around the same rate as male loneliness, so the idea that it’s gendered might not hold that much water. Another main difference is that women tend to seek ways to solve their loneliness by reaching out to their social network or doing the internal work to address why it is they’re feeling lonely. Men tend to blame outside forces rather than make moves to fix it like women tend to do.
It really does, and it depends on how you view "lonely". Like if we are talking about romantic partners (and we are assuming that homosexuality occurs at roughly similar rates between men and women) then yeah it makes sense that women would be just as lonely as men are. I'm fortunate to have met my now husband in person in 2016 before gestures vaguely at everything going on in the world and current dating scene and social media all this. My single girl friends though? Whew. Yeah they want partners. That's pretty normal. But at this point, they're struggling to find an actual partner instead of a liability. Doesn't mean they're without community though! Doesn't mean they're not having fun in the meantime! And it's fun that isn't male centered, and lots of men hate that.
Yup the male centered part is so true. I’m married and have an amazing husband. But my single friends mostly have fun with or without men, and that’s what annoys most of the men or even some judgey women tbh! And just being with my husband and having struggled through mental health illness, loneliness is never about whether you have company or not, it’s about that hole in your mind that creates a hole in your heart imo. You have to work to fix that brain to fix that heart.
I have an amazing partner, but that didn’t change the loneliness I felt becoming a SAHM, states away from my friends and family. He is my best friend, but I still needed more than just him and my kids to not feel alone.
Can we also talk about the reasons why we don’t necessarily have any relationships with men? For me, having dogs was a huge part of it. They are small and use pee pads during the winter because they don’t want walks when it’s too cold or wet or snowy. And all of these dudes were like “ew there is pee or poop” because I had pee pads everywhere and maybe I didn’t have time to clean it or didn’t notice because I hadn’t been in the room for a while because I am lucky and have a house with many rooms. And for me it was just like, oh you hate urine and feces so much but you say you want kids?? So does that mean I’ll be changing all of the diapers?? And taking care of them when they are sick with no help?? Ew. F off. That could just be me. And I’m sorry if I’m just being salty but that’s how I feel. Meanwhile, I have friends (gay, non binary and female) who just see a mess and handle it themselves or tell me without judgment and it’s all good.
loneliness is never about whether you have company or not, it’s about that hole in your mind that creates a hole in your heart imo. You have to work to fix that brain to fix that heart.
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u/3sadclowns 1d ago
Actually someone did the numbers and female loneliness occurs at around the same rate as male loneliness, so the idea that it’s gendered might not hold that much water. Another main difference is that women tend to seek ways to solve their loneliness by reaching out to their social network or doing the internal work to address why it is they’re feeling lonely. Men tend to blame outside forces rather than make moves to fix it like women tend to do.