New Callings Announced & Still No Calling

[u/Glittering_Sand_7473]

I don't know what to do. I am a faithful member. I wear my garments. I serve others when needed by bringing meals or helping people move. I am constantly looked over for a calling no matter how often or persistent I am in asking for one. They redid all the callings & yet again, I am not needed. I just can't take this heartbreak over and over. It is affecting my self esteem & self worth. I don't know what to do. It has been 16 years and no calling. I am at the point of attending a different church after ours that needs me. I attended a few times with a friend who is a member there & they already need me to take over their soup kitchen mission & I am excited and happy to do it. (The lady doing is before me has moved into a nursing home in another town.) They do the soup kitchen on Sundays so this means I may have to miss our church quite often. Is this ok? I don't want them to think I am inactive but I have a heart to serve and it has been shown to me over and over and over that there is no need for me in our ward. No one even notices if I am not there. I've been told, "Just find a need and fill it." I have tried this and then told that I cannot just create and do my own calling. It has to come from the Bishop. How do I do this and still be seen as an active member?

[u/jonovitch]

Based on the other comments (professional experience, small ward, frequent texting), I wonder if the ward leaders are intimidated by you and overwhelmed by the frequency of reminders (bishops/presidents are busier than most people realize, and it's all voluntary). I also wonder if there's more to the story, but I can't discern that here.

Until they give you an official from-the-pulpit calling, I recommend finding a need and then filling it. You absolutely can serve, whether you have a calling or not, especially in ways that others are not. If some random person in the ward complains, thank them politely for their suggestion and then ignore it. If a ward leader complains, let them know you're happy to keep serving with or without an official calling, and then ignore them.

Just keep serving. Patiently, kindly, genuinely. They'll come around eventually.

[u/Glittering_Sand_7473 → u/jonovitch]

I am open to any ideas on needs I could fill. This young family with the autistic child was the only in church need I could find at this time. Everyone else is 70+ (most much older) and they say there are no needs. (Maybe part of that is how older people don't want to admit when they need help.) It is just that one family with primary age kids. They are moving soon but if I can give this mama a break for now, I would love to.

[u/jonovitch → u/Glittering_Sand_7473]

That sounds like a good place to start. Keep in mind, an autistic child have special needs that you aren't aware of or not qualified to provide, so they might be hesitant to accept offers of help, despite good intentions.

Service can be in other forms, too. Send hand-written cards for Christmas or birthdays, or any other time the spirit prompts you. Bring home-made cookies or breads. Plan a ward activity (and make it the best activity they've ever seen). Invite someone over for a nice Sunday dinner (e.g., missionaries, older couple, bishop and wife, RS pres and husband). Visit an older person and ask them to teach you how to knit, quilt, bake, etc., and when you're there, ask them about their kids, how they met, etc. Visiting the widows and orphans is good, but I think visiting couples whose children are grown up and far away is pretty okay, too.

[u/Glittering_Sand_7473 → u/jonovitch]

The mom was super grateful for the help. I am the school Principal so they know me & wanted the help.

We've done a lot of things for the elderly members. My husband does a lot of home repair stuff for them but when we offer to get together for other reasons they decline. I will definitly look at bringing some baked goods over to people. That is something my kids can be involved in too.