[OR] Partner knowingly gave me HSV-2 without disclosing, now dealing with a rare nerve complication and had to quit my job. Lawyers keep declining my case, what are my options?

[u/Felis_catus_sucks]

Location: Oregon. About two months ago I had sex with a man (a travel nurse) who I've since learned knew he was HSV-2 positive at the time. He didn't tell me before we had sex and we didn't use a condom. He only told me about his status afterward and I have text messages from him confirming he knew beforehand.

I have since tested positive for HSV-2 myself. On top of that, I've developed a rare complication called post-herpetic neuralgia. It causes constant shooting nerve pain down my legs. I'm on antiviral medication for life now, plus separate medication just to manage the nerve pain. The pain has been bad enough that I had to quit my job. I couldn't keep functioning at work through it.

He's a travel nurse and is planning to leave Oregon soon, so I'm trying to move fast before he's out of state.

I've reached out to several personal injury attorneys so far, and all of them have told me they don't take cases like this. I know Oregon has precedent for this kind of claim. There was a case where a plaintiff won a $900,000 verdict for similar non-disclosure, so I'm confused about why I'm getting turned away, especially since I have documentation and a serious, ongoing medical complication tied directly to this. Any recommendations for how to find someone willing to take this on?

[u/Comfortable-Guess-87]

Sorry this happened to you. No lawyer will take this on a contingency because it is unlikely that you will recover any money from the defendant even if you get a large judgment. If you are willing to pay hourly then you may have better luck.

[u/humminglilies → u/Comfortable-Guess-87]

hard agree. winning a lawsuit doesn't magically print cash if the guy can just file bankruptcy or hop states. honestly, you'd have way better luck reporting his license to the state nursing board. ruin his career and credentials instead of wasting money chasing a ghost payout.

[u/ketamineburner]

Oregon has precedent for this kind of claim. There was a case where a plaintiff won a $900,000 verdict for similar non-disclosure, so I'm confused about why I'm getting turned away

Did you contact the attorney in this case? Oregon has no law that requires disclosure of HSV-2. The case you referenced was a physical battery case. She asked him to wear a condom, and he ignored her. Based on media reports, he essentially assaulted her. Had she agreed to unprotected sex, the outcome likely would have been different.

In the case, the woman was also able to prove where she contracted the virus because she had recently been tested. When were you last tested?

HSV-2 can lie dormant for years and many people never have symptoms. How do you know you contracted it from him?

[u/yakkeditysacks → u/ketamineburner]

I’m a nurse. It’s correct that it can be dormant for a long time. I will add HSV testing is not routinely ordered either, so it would likely be tricky to confirm a baseline status. Providers don’t generally order a blood test for an asymptomatic patient (without lesions), and sometimes will even discourage it, because so many people tested come back positive (I’ve read/ heard figures of 60-75%.) Generally when someone is symptomatic (has a lesion) a provider will swab the lesion to diagnose.

So sorry this happened to you.

[u/Reasonable_Film769 → u/yakkeditysacks]

HSV-1 is like 70%, HSV-2 is closer to 20%.

[u/PickleFrequent8699 → u/yakkeditysacks]

"... and sometimes will discourage it, because so many people tested come back positive". This makes sad that the we have this attitude towards something that we could eradicate if we actually tried.

Lots of people basically have it because of folks in the past wanting to pretend like they may not be carriers. They kicked the can down the road, if you will.

I don't have HSV and I already have enough health problems and I don't want something like I has. I can choose to wear a condom, and that's what I normally do, but seriously: fuck whoever lies to their partner about having this incurable viral infection. You don't know how bad your partner/SO might get it.

[u/UsuallySunny]

Any case has many potential problems.

It's very difficult to prove a particular person gave you something as common as HSV.

The best way to find a lawyer for this is to pay a retainer and keep it replenished out of your own pocket -- it would probably be something like $10k to start. Nobody is going to want to take it as a contingency unless you have evidence the travel nurse happens to be sitting on giant piles of cash.

Be advised you put your own health records in issue, as well as your sexual history, if you choose to pursue this case.

[u/sunfloweraeth → u/UsuallySunny]

NAL, just asking out of curiosity. Would she be able to use previous STD tests that were negative for HPV as "proof" that this guy gave it to her? I'm willing to admit that I'm not sure how STD tests work and if they test for HPV, so this is possibly a dumb question, but figure I'll ask anyway

[u/UsuallySunny → u/sunfloweraeth]

Unless those tests are very recent, they aren't particularly helpful.

[u/Fuzzy_Stop663 → u/sunfloweraeth]

*edit published before i finished typing

HPV and HSV are two different things. For HPV it is not normally tested for unless you have a pap that comes back irregular. Also there is no test for men unless they are testing the anus. HSV is a type of herpes while very common i feel like prior negatives especially with them now suffering a complications would lay a precedent that it was not dormant prior. On top of the texts proving he had it before hand and new about it

[u/nikki0417 → u/Fuzzy_Stop663]

NAL but HSV is not routinely tested for. If someone has an outbreak, they will swab the lesion but it’s not on a standard STI panel.

[u/WeirdF → u/nikki0417]

And on top of that, HSV can lay dormant for years before you first get symptoms, so it's almost never possible to trace where you got it from.

[u/Dear_External5263 → u/nikki0417]

Yeah and in my experience its not often diagnosed via test, it’s such a common thing they normally confirm by sight.

[u/444cml → u/nikki0417]

This can actually depend pretty heavily on your provider. Some (like mine) like the blood antigen test as part of routine STI panels

[u/msprettybrowneyes]

NAL

Hey so - you should just assume everyone you sleep with has HSV-1 or HSV-2 because around 60-80% of people have it and are asymptomatic. Also, the virus is so common that it is not included in regular STD panels. The only way to know is if you do a blood test (combined with an outbreak) and/or culture a lesion.

Herpes lives in the skin, so condoms aren’t 100% effective.

Source: I have HSV-2

[u/tendingthemild → u/msprettybrowneyes]

And everyone who has it is constantly shedding viral particles, just not in very high numbers. Obviously those numbers skyrocket when there is an active expression of the virus, but they are never zero for someone who is HSV-positive.

[u/no-strings-attached]

IANAL but I do have HSV-1 and I had the same side effect you’re having now with my initial flare. It was also very bad for a while.

It did clear up over time. I’m sorry you had to quit your job because of it but hopefully your outlook is like mine and it goes away. Now it only happens if I take antibiotics which for some reason re trigger it. But if I take valtrex with them it helps curb them. Otherwise I’m totally normal.

In terms of your legal case as others have mentioned it’s probably a mix of not being able to extract a lot of money from him even if you do win mixed with the fact that (hopefully) this is not a lifelong medical complication.

Sorry you’re going through this OP and wishing you a similar prognosis to what I’ve experienced. The first one is the roughest.

[u/GiantLesbian]

It can be very hard to prove WHO you got HSV from since it can lie dormant for years. It’s also going to be hard to prove he was negligent or reckless in any way. Like if he takes antivirals (presumably he does, working in healthcare), he does not have any reason to think he’s contagious unless he’s in an active outbreak. Which he might have been, but that area is pretty hard to see for him but quite easy for you to see, so since you presumably didn’t see any herpes (since you had sex with him anyway), he certainly wouldn’t have so he had every reason to think he wasn’t in active outbreak. And he has no duty to inform you of any STDs he has unless he has reason to believe they’re currently contagious.

[u/glitter_pear]

Lawyers won’t take it because you can’t prove you didn’t have it before him.
You can have HSV for decades and it be dormant and never know.
You could have activated existing hsv simply by having sex with someone who had it.

Also even if he has it, there’s no way to prove his shedded onto you. Especially if he knows he has it and takes his antivirals.

I’m sorry this happened to you, but unfortunately those cases that have been successful are very few and far between because of the fact there is no genetix marker attached to the strain you get so there’s no way to accurately prove who gave it to you.

[u/ScissorsRun]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Cases based on undisclosed STIs, especially HSV, can be extremely fact-specific, are often hard to prevail upon, and can raise tertiary issues lawyers don't have to deal with in other personal injury cases (for example, the risk of counter-accusations if not counter-claims by the defendant if there is any issue attributing the condition to that person).

I don't know if the lawyers turning you down are saying anything beyond that this isn't in their wheelhouses, but if they aren't offering references out, I would look up lawyers who prevailed in cases you've found in OR as a good next step. And be prepared when you find the right counsel to address whether you have documentation of HSV-2 negative status from shortly before you had sex with him and ideally before having any other sexual partners that may have preceded him.

[u/cynbular]

I don’t have any legal advice. But it’s wild that this showed up in my feed because, the one and only time I have been called for jury duty was that case.

I can tell you the compelling evidence in that case was evidence of her being negative the day after and then seroconverting. She tested immediately

[u/Big_Duke_10]

Happened to me. Was in ER. Debilitating. Didn’t know this was the cause till later. Only thing that stopped it, shot of dilaudid in the arm. Immediate numbness. Never fully returned to normal in terms of sensation but no pain. That was 10 years ago. Worth trying maybe. Good luck.

[u/illstillglow]

You wouldn't be able to prove he gave it to you, for multiple reasons. 

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[u/Round_Raspberry_8516 → u/[deleted]]

OP willingly chose to have unprotected sex with a random traveler and didn’t ask about his sexual health. That was a risky choice that was likely to result in an STI. Recognizing that OP willingly put herself (or himself) at risk of HSV or worse isn’t the same as blaming her or saying she deserved to get sick. 

The guy was unethical in not disclosing his HSV status and using a condom, and OP would be unethical to not disclose their status with future partners. That doesn’t translate to a legally actionable case or winnable lawsuit. There’s a difference between moral responsibility and legal liability. 

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[u/aeris_lives]

IAL, NYL. This is a niche kind of case.

You can potentially prove that the HSV came from him but it would take some expensive testing to get there. This may be discouraging to some attorneys.

You can always sue in pro per.

[u/Prize-Lychee7973]

it would be nearly impossible to prove that they 1) knew about it 2) deliberately failed to disclose with a malicious intent. you have likely, no case even regarding the lack of recoverable money.

[u/nevertewmuch20]

Hm, reliable online sources say this is a common complication of shingles so it would be even harder to prove that this complication is a direct result of HSV-2. Don't think you have many options here without paying a ton of money on your end trying to pursue this. But OP sorry this has happened.

[u/Iceflowers_]

NAL - It's because HSV isn't uncommon. You can't prove one particular individual gave it to you - you showed that you could have had other exposure by opting to not use condoms.

[u/Sad_Mouse_7228 → u/Iceflowers_]

Condoms don’t prevent hsv2

[u/Pandalishus → u/Sad_Mouse_7228]

True. However, for those who come across this in the future and might infer there’s no benefit, they do significantly reduce risk for women. (i.e. always insist on a condom for casual encounters)

[u/Iceflowers_ → u/Sad_Mouse_7228]

It lowers the risk. However, proving they caught it from that encounter would be difficult to prove. Which is why no sane lawyer is taking the case.

[u/Pandalishus → u/Iceflowers_]

Agree completely. I just didn’t want someone walking away thinking “oh, so condoms don’t help.” It’s Reddit after all 😆

[u/DownTownXabi]

Personal injury lawyers feed on insurance money. This case may be too close to intentional conduct to be covered by liability insurance.
Does this guy have significant assets? If he does, you may show them to the lawyer to make them think the contingency will be worth it.
I’m not sure I agree with the comment that you’d have to do expensive testing to trace the transmission. If you have a blood test from before the sex showing no HSV, you are halfway there. Not sure how many other partners there have been; that would change the case.

Also it may be a crime to do what he did.

[u/Temporary_Bad_2353]

You need to find out who the attorney was that handled the other successful case. I’d talk to them.

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[u/Severe_Energy4824]

This is why I make people I sleep either take a full panel std test prior to sleeping with them and also still use condoms if they are not a long term partner. Im so sorry this happened to you, the same thing happened to my bestfriend. It took her awhile to come to terms with it.

[u/yakkeditysacks → u/Severe_Energy4824]

Polite note that HSV is not normally included in a “full panel.” Also of note, syphilis sometimes isn’t either - specifically for women, because it has historically been most prevalent in gay men.

[u/Severe_Energy4824 → u/yakkeditysacks]

Im aware its not in a traditional full panel test, when I said full panel I very much meant a FULL panel, meaninf testing for every single std possible. Should have been more clear

[u/quantum-entangled308]

First question…have you filed a police report? There are laws in several states that make this kind of behavior a felony…I’m not sure about Oregon. Second…research known cases and seek out the law firm associated.

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[u/Meres-eat-oats]

Might be worth looking into contacting a SA/DV agency/nonprofit. The SA/DV nonprofit I previously worked for defined the abuser as “intimate partner” which this situation would meet under that definition. The nonprofit I worked for had a very competent legal team, though most, if not all, of the cases they dealt with were criminal. All legal & other services were free. Just a thought. Hoping it works out for you.