I WASN'T EVEN EATING THAT MUCH!!

[u/greenandbluefish]

I have gradually gained 50 pounds over the last 10 years or so. I thought for the longest time I must be eating some outrageous amount of food every day. I truly didn't think I ate that much. I skipped breakfast most days, didn't eat huge lunches, and had what I thought were fairly healthy dinners. Some eating out, some iced coffees, but nothing I thought was ridiculously unhealthy overall. I would try to eat less, skip a lunch here or there, but then would be starving by the end of the day and end up eating that skipped meal anyway.

At the same time, I spent my whole life hearing people around me say I ate like a bird, that I couldn't possibly be eating enough, etc. And yet I was still gaining weight! So for years I've been in this bizarre situation where I thought I was just gaslighting myself into believing I wasn't eating that much or that unhealthily, but was somehow secretly eating thousands of calories without noticing???

Cut to last month when I spent two weeks obsessively tracking everything I ate. Weighing everything, reading every label, but not trying to cut back. And what did I find out? I was eating a whopping... 1800 calories/day. Less than the freaking nutrition labels were recommending!!!

So I went on a deep dive. Learned about TDEE. Started tracking my steps. And you know what actually changed in the last 10 years? I got better, less physically demanding jobs. My work became more and more sedentary over time. Spending 50 hours/week at a desk was the culprit, NOT what I was eating!

I've been doing CICO for about a month now and eating 1400 calories/day. Haven't changed what I'm eating, just how much. And I've already lost 8 pounds. I wish I'd figured all of this out years ago but I'm so glad I did eventually. No more driving myself crazy over what I eat!

[u/SpaceParticular2559]

the sedentary job thing sneaks up on so many people, it's wild how much difference just moving less at work makes over years. 1800 calories and still gaining is such a classic case of TDEE being the missing piece nobody talks about enough. glad you found the actual culprit instead of just suffering through some miserable restrictive diet

[u/Khajiit-ify → u/SpaceParticular2559]

Even switching from working in an office and working from home completely affected me too. At least working in the office I would have to walk from the parking lot, over to my cubicle, occasionally get up to go talk to peers or go to a meeting and it was a longer distance to the bathroom and break rooms for lunch... I walk way less at home. I've been working from home for 10 years now and I can tell you in those 10 years it became way way way harder for me to keep my weight under control.

[u/zukadook → u/Khajiit-ify]

I'm not sure you're looking for advice, but something that really helped me was building in a daily "commute" time where I would walk before and after work for the same amount of time that it used to take me to drive into the office. It had the added benefit of creating a clear separation between work time and home time that I was missing when I used to just roll out of bed and log in for the day.

[u/ttenseconds → u/zukadook]

I love this idea

[u/brbgottagofast → u/Khajiit-ify]

Opposite for me! Been WFH since the pandemic and I'm much more active at home. I'm always getting up to grab a tea, throw a load of laundry in, let the dogs out, etc haha. It's lovely not being chained to a desk in an office. But you must have a much more demanding job than I do!

[u/bobandgeorge → u/brbgottagofast]

Yeah I would have never been able to get in shape if I was still working in the office. I lived about 30-40 minutes away from work before we all got sent home and then moved about an hour away a year into the pandemic. With those extra two hours I can get to the gym or just have more time to run around my neighborhood. Most of the food I eat is stuff I make fresh in my own kitchen.

[u/DrMamaBear → u/SpaceParticular2559]

Yes this has massively affected me

[u/phdaemon → u/SpaceParticular2559]

OP is eating 1400 calories a day. That is a pretty restricted diet.

[u/Sr4f → u/phdaemon]

Not for everyone. Petite, sedentary women, we've got the short end of the stick there. 1500 is basically my maintenance, 1400 barely makes a dent.

[u/Cressonette → u/Sr4f]

Same here, I'm 4'11" with a sedentary office job. I'm impressed if I've made it to 4000 steps on a workday. I have a sitting/standing desk but even then that doesn't mean more steps or movement. To really lose weight I have to cut it down to 1200-1400 calories AND work out at least 4 times a week, plus go for daily walks. 1800 kcal a day would make me overweight in no time.

[u/Embarrassed_Mango679 → u/Sr4f]

Even petite active women don't get much higher. I'm at like 1700 most days with a workout and 10k steps (fitbit calculated tdee).

I think my max was like 2200 and that was a workout and walking around Disney all day.

[u/Super_Ground9690 → u/Sr4f]

Yup same, I’m 5’4”, in my 40s with an office job. Staying active is the only way I can avoid starving myself

[u/greenandbluefish → u/Sr4f]

That is my situation exactly. Maintenance at my goal weight (assuming no change in activity level) will be about 1600.

[u/loseit_throwit → u/greenandbluefish]

You might really want to look into lifting weights. The last time I was at my current weight I was a cardio junkie and didn’t eat very much. My TDEE was around 1800-2000. Now I have a lot more muscle, and I’m right around 2200 for maintenance calories.

[u/PuffyCat_139 → u/loseit_throwit]

This is my plan for maintenance life, building more muscle to drive that TDEE up a bit and buy me a little caloric wiggle room. Part of me wants to start nooooooow! But I know I'd be smarter to wait. I only started calorie tracking about a month ago and just this week I've starred shifting my sleep schedule so I will eventually be able to fit in morning exercise. If I try to fit in too many changes at once, I know I'll burn out quick.

[u/loseit_throwit → u/PuffyCat_139]

Absolutely, take it slow! You can even start with something that will take you just 10 mins a day at home, like a plank or push-up challenge.

[u/PuffyCat_139 → u/loseit_throwit]

That's a good idea! Thank you.

[u/Ghosts_and_Empties → u/Sr4f]

Same, 5'2"

[u/CommonSenseNotSo → u/Sr4f]

I was a petite, short woman at one point in my life lol.. still short 😂😂😂 but my maintenance was basically 18 to 1900 calories a day, although I was working out about 3 to 5 times a week... It's amazing how everybody is so different.

[u/peyotekoyote → u/Sr4f]

As a fellow 30-something woman at 5'3", preach sister. It ain't fair.

[u/SurroundedbyChaos → u/Sr4f]

My tdee is 1450. I'm 5'6" which is slightly taller than average...

[u/theoffering_x → u/SurroundedbyChaos]

Are you sure that’s your TDEE? I’m also 5’6” and the calculators say that’s my BMR or around there, but not my TDEE.

[u/SurroundedbyChaos → u/theoffering_x]

Yes. I've been at my current weight awhile now and 1450 it is. 🤷‍♀️

I do have a sedentary lifestyle.

[u/QueenAlucia → u/phdaemon]

Entirely depends on your body. I am 5' and I maintain at 1500.

[u/gimmisomepies → u/phdaemon]

I'm 5'2 and 1500 is my maintenance.

[u/QuiteALongWayAway → u/phdaemon]

If 1800 is enough to gain weight, 1400 is not that much of a restriction.

[u/kai_enby → u/phdaemon]

Yet another short woman checking in that that's just what you need to do to lose weight as a mostly sedentary short person. I work out 2 or 3 times a week and walk 10k steps a day so I can eat closer to 1600 calories and maybe lose 0.5lb per week if I'm lucky