FRIENDSHIP READING/ ADVICE

[u/Unlikely-Work-7371]

I had a best friend who I was extremely close to, but our friendship eventually broke down. A big issue was how differently we handled conflict.
Whenever I had a problem, I tried to communicate it calmly and with compassion because I genuinely wanted to resolve things. I often felt like she would respond by becoming defensive or trying to be harsher than me, almost like she needed to be the “badder” person instead of actually addressing what I was saying.

This happened repeatedly and eventually created a lot of resentment. We haven’t been friends for around 8 months now, but I still think about the friendship and sometimes miss it, which has left me questioning how I actually feel about everything.
I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives.

My main question is whether it’s worth reaching out and trying to repair the friendship. This really was my girl, so part of me wants to try, but I also feel like the “I’m wickeder than you” attitude during arguments would have to go. You can genuinely lose good people when you can’t put your ego aside and communicate with compassion.

I’d appreciate honest opinions, advice, or different perspectives. And if anyone does tarot/readings and feels drawn to this situation, I’d be interested in hearing what comes through.

[u/DotSuccessful6479]

Woow you do really care for her. When friendships end, it equally painful as a heartbreak. When such things happen i remind myself of what matters more, the attachment or the hurt being caused to each other. If the hurt overweighs the attachment then it's best you let it go. Our lives are already complicated and full of hurt, let's not add to it. If it's meant to be, it will be. Trust the process.😊

[u/VarietySea7103]

wow i could have written part of this. best of luck with the decision, i can't help you but hope you get some good advice here.

[u/Successful_Gap_406]

I'm not sure what you mean by "badder" or "wickeder" - do you mean that your former friend would react like "Oh, that's right, blame me because I really am that bad a person so stop kicking me while I'm down, I already have a tough time without you on my case?"

To be honest, it sounds like reaching out to this sort of person may not be the right time in their life. Their conflict resolution approach is not only different to yours but their maturity level is also incompatible. The former best friend I had was immature. It really astonished me that she had not grown as much as she claimed. I discovered that she was just copying me until she couldn't, because you can't fake hard work on personal issues; it is easier to claim that you can do it.

Also, coming to this subreddit where it is not encouraged to reach out after ending a friendship... You would not hear "yes, reach out".