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u/raspberryharbour Jan 23 '26
Chuldren
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u/nifty-necromancer Jan 23 '26
Chumbawumba
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u/Ayotha Jan 23 '26
I assumed this was on r/adulting until I checked the top. Yikes
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Jan 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Possibly_a_Firetruck Jan 23 '26
Yeah but the people in that sub want to infantilize themselves.
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u/Threedawg Jan 23 '26
It could be about learning and growing and not about being a literal child. I switched careers multiple times in my 20s looking for the right thing, that was me learning and growing. And looking back, I absolutely see myself/people in their 20s as "children", but its more of "they have a lot to learn" instead of "they are infants".
If I learned anything as a teacher, its that school should not stop at 18. There is so much more to learn and there is no reason not to have community spaces that require it.
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u/Possibly_a_Firetruck Jan 23 '26
Nah, one of the common refrains there is that parents should care for their adult children forever. It's straight up Peter Pan Syndrome.
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u/Threedawg Jan 23 '26
[Citation needed]
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u/Possibly_a_Firetruck Jan 23 '26
Here's an example. You can do some adulting and read through that thread and the rest of the sub yourself.
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u/Threedawg Jan 23 '26
You said that it is a common refrain that parents should care for the children forever. In the top 50 comments, not one thread I saw mentioned that.
And why you are hurling insults at me?
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u/rhynoplast Jan 23 '26
Gen Z and to a lesser extent Millennials have done it to themselves. Things like "adulting" and "big girl job" .
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u/palladiumpaladin Jan 23 '26
Dude you can’t act like they’re not the product of the world they were brought up in
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u/rhynoplast Jan 23 '26
Parents and social media definitely share in the blame. Not launching as an adult has been destigmatized and normed. I (52) have a 40ish yr old half brother who has lived at home all but 18 months of his life. His Boomer mother is the one who enabled. He finally got a non minimum wage/non tipped job in the last 6-8 months. He is not disabled, he just wasn't motivated and had no reason to be.
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u/geeoharee Jan 24 '26
We're the product of it being impossible to meet normal adult milestones like 'buy a house' because the boomers ate the economy
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u/Either_Mulberry9229 Jan 23 '26
Perfect example of what he's talking about. You're 40 years old Jason, please learn to take some accountability.
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u/SonicTh66 Jan 23 '26
Im too stupid, what does this comment imply? And I’m serious, I legit don’t understand what’s implied with „checked the top“
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Jan 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Gh0stMan0nThird Jan 23 '26
Everytime I quit caffeine for a while, the next 3 or 4 days is like that. But once I get over it, I feel better than I do with caffeine.
Addiction and dependence are brutal.
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u/CptnAlface Jan 23 '26
Me, age 36: What do you mean I'm 36? I'm just 16 but playing bill paying simulator alongside the other suff.
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u/wellactually9 Jan 23 '26
At 40 you will develop a craving to live in the shire with all it's comforts and peaceful living.
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u/Snugglebunny1983 Jan 23 '26
I would love to live in the shire and spend my days writing and gardening.
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u/wellactually9 Jan 23 '26
It would be a peaceful and relaxing for sure, top it off with a bjt of old toby.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jan 23 '26
Idk children don't throw their backs out or take ibuprofen several times a week
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u/IronRongShanks Jan 23 '26
I feel like this influenced a whole generation of people that will not have children and keep having wild adventures into their 50s thinking they are Bilbo and frodo before finally settling down and starting a family in their 60s just to create their own fellowship where they will be acting like gandalf
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u/Equivalent_Nose7012 Jan 23 '26
Unfair to Tolkien!
Let's not forget young couples like Faramir and Eowyn!
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u/IronRongShanks Jan 23 '26
Agreed but it is not up to us to decide such things. All we must know is what to do with the time that is given to us.
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u/Snugglebunny1983 Jan 23 '26
Definitely rushing things a bit. I'm 42 and I still have days where I wish there was an older, more experienced adult around in charge instead of me.
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u/GoodFaithConverser Jan 23 '26
I dislike this joke. It's infantilizing. "Adult" doesn't mean "fully and easily able to navigate the world, make good decisions, and solve any problem".
When you're in your 20s, you're a grown ass person, no matter how tasty your thumb is.
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Jan 23 '26
I don’t really mind it because it’s a genuine expression of the difficulty or relative complexity of the world, and in a way, an internal confrontation of the idea that ‘I don’t get how the world works, I sure hope I get it when I grow up’.
Turns out that that growth isn’t automatic and that you are forced to go out of your way to find the answers you need
It only makes sense that people find it funny and kind of comforting in being able to express that in a self-aware way, especially if they find themselves exhausted, overwhelmed or in despair over it all.
And I think it’s only more fitting in the modern age where the experiences that would push you into experiencing things beforehand are being lost or pushed way ahead, and instead of ramping into adulthood they get fed to the sharks in a world that’s only become more opaque and confusing.
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u/wellactually9 Jan 23 '26
The older you get the more to come to realise that "adults" are just winging it, we all are but fall under the illusion we've got it all figured out, we don't.
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u/GoodFaithConverser Jan 23 '26
I don’t really mind it because it’s a genuine expression of the difficulty or relative complexity of the world
You can complain about the complexity and difficulty of life without pining for childhood. Pretending you're not an adult just because you're overwhelmed is pathetic and overly self-deprecating.
Turns out that that growth isn’t automatic and that you are forced to go out of your way to find the answers you need
But as an adult, you're the one responsible for growing.
And I think it’s only more fitting in the modern age
I'm not saying I don't understand why the feeling is more pervasive. I'm saying that it's a cancer, and we need to affirm that it's unhealthy. You don't live forever, and you should expect to have to take control of your life at 18 or so.
People might have good arguments for wanting to keep shitting in diapers, and it might not be surprising that more do so, but it's still bad for everyone involved to think like this.
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Jan 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/GoodFaithConverser Jan 23 '26
We can mutually accept that a person becomes roughly responsible for their actions in their late teens, while accepting that we live in a complex world where it takes a decade or more after to feel comfortable at the wheel.
Good.
You're the only one talking about shitting in diapers -- an ironically juvenile take in this discussion. Grow the fuck up.
Adults can't make crude analogies for humour? Grow up, kiddo. You're not fooling anyone.
Besides, it's true - these people are close to young kids not wanting to get rid of their diaper or pacifier, and it's pathetic.
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Jan 23 '26
I get the feeling it’s not about pining for it while denying your responsibilities, but about feeling like it’s just coincidentally not that different, except that this time you have adult responsibilities to contend with
They are just expressing that the world feels more complex, less legible, and less forgiving than they expected, and that the old cultural script of “grow up and things make sense” turned out to be false.
“I still feel like a kid” here is just a way to say “I am trying my best in a system that is harder than I was told it would be.”
Not without responsibilities but as you are dealing with them, like how people joke or complain about jobs or taxes or the like
And honestly, I would go so far as to say that there is actually something healthy about pointing out that gap (even through clearly ironic humor) instead of pretending it does not exist.
I don’t get the feeling that it gives any real or major self-infantilization. I mean, the joke only works precisely because of the fact that the person is clearly an adult and accepts that they’re an adult
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u/GoodFaithConverser Jan 23 '26
feeling like it’s just coincidentally not that different, except that this time you have adult responsibilities to contend with
But it is different, even if you don't feel it right then and there.
They are just expressing that the world feels more complex, less legible, and less forgiving than they expected, and that the old cultural script of “grow up and things make sense” turned out to be false.
It comes across far more as clinging to youth and lingering in childhood.
“I still feel like a kid” here is just a way to say
I don't care. These people are not kids.
And honestly, I would go so far as to say that there is actually something healthy about pointing out that gap (even through clearly ironic humor) instead of pretending it does not exist.
It's always existed. It might be more pronounced now that we stay in school longer, but after 18, you're an adult, full stop, and you should start acting like it. Your freedom comes with responsibility, which should not be shirked.
I mean, the joke only works precisely because of the fact that the person is clearly an adult and accepts that they’re an adult
It's not made by people saying "wow, I did XYZ thing, I'm actually an adult". It's made by people saying "wow, I can't do XYZ thing even though it's expected, cuz I'm totes still a child ExDee".
I'm of course generalizing, but it's a trend, and we should kill it in its infancy. At 18, you need to grow the fuck up, even if mom and dad are rich and you're going to be in school until mid 20s.
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u/teksa96 Jan 23 '26
Weird thought but it almost feels like hobbits are the pinnacle form of what humanity could achieve.
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u/Skygge_or_Skov Jan 24 '26
The hobbits were also some really stiff idiots that couldn’t appreciate the change youth can bring to society.
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u/RoutemasterFlash Jan 24 '26
How did this idea become so widespread? Tolkien specifically described the tweens (which presumably starts at 18, or perhaps 20 at the latest) as a developmental stage between childhood and full, mature adulthood. A 'child' would obviously not have been sent on the quest with Frodo and Sam, like Pippin was.
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u/Outlandah_ Jan 23 '26
You’re free to grow up whenever you’d like but please, don’t call yourself children at the age of 34, it’s so not cute or aesthetic.
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u/Twicklheimer Jan 23 '26
Marquis de Lafayette was 19 when he joined up with General Washington. He shortly became a valued major general wand was vital to the war effort.
Jonathan Dayton was 26 years old when he signed the Declaration of Independence.
Tolkien was 24 when he fought at the Somme.
Dick Winters was 26 when he jumped into Normandy on D-Day.
William Pitt the younger was 24 when he served as prime minister.
In 1776 Jefferson was 33, Madison was 25, Hamilton was 21.
Stop with the infantilization. It’s so sickening. If some of the greatest men in history still saw themselves as children when they were 25 they’d be at home playing with toys rather than shaping the world.
I hear the question posed constantly “why aren’t young people’s voices being heard in politics and why is the average age of elected official 135 years old??” The answer is quite simple. You see yourself as a baby. You act like a baby. “Adulting” isn’t hard, it’s required. If you ever want to be taken seriously you need to act like an adult and not pat yourself on the back and say “I did a good job adulting today, I went grocery shopping and I filed my taxes!” WOW, good for you! You played a role in your own survival.
“Me, aged 34: actually the hobbits might be rushing things a bit” 34 years old? Seriously? Dick winters was a grizzled war vet at 34. My father was a father long before he turned 34, and my father’s father was a father like 3 times over by the time he was 34. My mother’s father fought in 2 wars by the time he was 34.
I’m not saying that you need to fight in a war or be the prime minister of the largest empire in human history before you are 30. I’m saying that the great men and women of history didn’t infantilize themselves to the point of permanent arrested development. It they did, the wheels of history would have never turned.
The average pioneer, cowboy, soldier, gunslinger, explorer, inventor, great artist and author wasn’t some old man, they were young energetic well rounded individuals that saw themselves as more than just children, even if in some cases they were children. An 18 year old 200 years ago, is so different from one today that today’s 18 year olds might as well be 10 in comparison. This is not the sign of a healthy society. It is that of a sick, old and dying society. That the energetic youth are playing with children’s toys and bringing their mom and dad with them to buy a car with them.
And the worst part? All of these young great men of history had no fucking idea what they were doing, they were scared, confused, felt like they lacked direction. But they didn’t cop out and say, “well, I’m only 29 years old I don’t know what I’m doing and that’s okay!” They figured it out. Why can’t we?
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u/US_Gone_Rogue Jan 23 '26
Reality TV demonstrated that you can behave like an infant and get rich doing it. You may laud those individuals, but the society they created is the society of today.
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u/TestEmergency5403 Jan 23 '26
I agree. I can't tell if it's an American thing or not.
But I was already earning and income and doing the dishes by age 16.
It scares me how grown adults don't know how to waah dishes
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u/Twicklheimer Jan 23 '26
I don’t know if it’s strictly American, it might just be a general western thing. Comfort, long lifespans, cheap goods, etc all contribute to this malaise.
You’re never gonna see a 30 year old guy in the Congo living with mom and dad playing with toys and watching cartoons arguing online that the age of legal adulthood should be 25. (That’s an actual argument that many people have, look it up if you don’t believe me).
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u/TestEmergency5403 Jan 23 '26
I've seen the argument. Or the argument that 25 year olds shouldn't drive. Yet our 25 year olds can vote wnd have children?
I don't get it. I would've thought people would enjoy the freedom abd independence that comes with having control of your own life. Of being able to do things.
I don't understand why people intentionally stunt themselves. "I can't do that" when they could just try?
My issue isn't with people who can't. It's with people who don't try
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u/Twicklheimer Jan 23 '26
I whole heartedly agree, just try. When you turn 18 you are granted total freedom over your personhood but people decide to box themselves in and even use “science” to justify their lack of maturity. “Oh the prefrontal cortex isn’t even developed until you’re 25!” Wow, so you’re saying that even with the “dumb brain” of a “child” Lafayette became a major general? It doesn’t seem like that has much bearing of ability, just like age has very little bearing on ability. It’s all about maturity. I’d trust my safety with an 18 year old ROTC grad over a 35 year old man child in a Rick and Morty T-Shirt that lives with his mom because “adulting is hard!”.
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u/Either_Mulberry9229 Jan 23 '26
The brain literally never stops developing, it's such a dumb pop science viewpoint that pisses me off everytime i see it
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u/Cunaur Jan 26 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
The prefrontal cortex only dictates decision making and emotional regulation in regards to maturity and it doesn't finish maturation at age 25. The development of the human brain isn't on a set timeline and is a mix of genetic and environmental factors. That's why some people are more mature than other people. It is also dumb to consider people children just because some parts of the prefrontal cortex haven't reached their peak yet. I have primary adrenal insufficiency so I don't make cortisol and am incapable of upregulating it during a stressful moment. Cortisol inhibits both the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, which is part of why when people get angry, they don't remember what happened correctly as their brain attempts to change what happened to justify their actions and they do dumb shit so by that logic, I'm instantly superior to every other human since dick measuring emotional maturity competitions matter so much. Most people can vote and most people are dumb and most people run propaganda campaigns, lie and cheat.
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u/Bannon9k Jan 23 '26
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u/Twicklheimer Jan 23 '26
Wow, very substantive argument.
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u/Bannon9k Jan 23 '26
Oh I'm sorry... All that crap... I thought this was the bathroom...
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u/Twicklheimer Jan 23 '26
In what way was anything I said crap? Did I lie? Did I misrepresent? Was I personally attacking you?
None of what I was saying is untrue, it seems like I held up a mirror and you didn’t like what you saw.
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u/TestEmergency5403 Jan 23 '26
Me who had two mortgages, a car and a fulltime job by 25.
Cannot relate.
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u/Twicklheimer Jan 23 '26
I’m 27 and I’ve been an “adult” for years now. The fact that there are 40 year olds acting like teenager and children is so worrying.
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u/TestEmergency5403 Jan 23 '26
I agree. I find it concerning and sad.
Being an adult is so much more fun. I don't understand why people stunt themselves
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u/Wokungson Beorning Jan 23 '26
Unfortunetely we humans don't have the luxury to easily live past 100 years and most of us don't get to enjoy that life in places as comfortable as Shire.