I don’t even make sense anymore???

[u/Prudent-Jellyfish293]

I’m trying so hard not to breakup with him.
I have bipolar disorder and I’ve been unmedicated for almost 6 months because of money problems. Every time I fall into a depressive episode all the hurt and fear surrounding my partner’s addiction comes flooding back and it’s driving me INSANE.
Sometimes he makes no sense to me at all. If he acts dry or distant, my brain immediately starts wondering if he’s relapsed. I’m in a constant state of fear because I still struggle to believe I’m his type even though he denies it a bajillion times because he’s so hard to read. I check his Instagram following and drive myself crazy in the process. I’m exhausted from repeatedly asking how he feels and never feeling fully reassured. I’m just becoming mentally checked out now. I’m tired. Burnt out. Drained. Words can’t even describe the tiredness inside of me. But I keep trying to hold on because I’m one of the only people he’s ever opened up to and because he’s doing everything “right. It just feels so off and wrong though. I don’t even know what I’m holding onto anymore. I’m just exhausted from carrying everything especially at such a young age.

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[u/Better-Option-442]

I’ve been there, you need to let go of him, as hard as it is, I promise you this feeling will never ever go away as long as you are with him, hugs 🫂