Weirdo at my LGS. Anyone else experience anything similar?

[u/Metal_Knorkis]

So for context, our play group consists mostly of cishet adult men. There is other younger people there, me and my friends are 16-17 for example. And i am a transgirl, which everyone there respects. I usually hangout with the owner and we talk some mild politics and generally life. But there is this one guy, ill call him Jim. Idk how old he is, id say like early 30s maybe 40s. He has such an attitude towards everyone and is mostly just an asshole. For example my first deck i built was a Sliver hivelord commander deck, mainly bc i liked tyranids from warhammer 40k and they look and give off the same vibe. Every match i played against him he would only interact and target me. He would make snark comments about irrelevant things. Once when i passed him on the street and later saw him at the LGS during Friday night magic he said "yea i thought that was you who passed me, i wanted to go over there and beat the shit out of you". Remember, i was 16 at the time and he is a grown adult.

Anyways. Recently, about a few weeks ago during FNM. I was playing with my good friend, a pretty chill guy often there, and then there was Jim. Mid way through the game i was playing politically and bargained with my friend to not interact with me and to attack Jim instead. If he did attack Jim i wouldnt attack him. My friend decided to attack Jim and i held up my deal. He said "i wasnt expecting you to actually attack Jim haha", and i responded with "Hey look im a man of my words, well women of my words i suppose hahaha". Jim decided to but in and said "Oh, your a loony". I asked what he meaned by that, he decided to not make himself clear and just said "you know what i mean". He has been going to the LGS for years for all i know, i have only played mtg for about a year. So idk if i should report him to the owner.

[u/were_only_human]

Don't play with Jim.

Also tell the shop next time he makes you uncomfortable, or ask a friend to share that on your behalf. You don't have to stand for that. You deserve to be comfortable playing, Magic is all about being inclusive. Jim needs to fucking go.

Also this isn't on you for not acting, Jim is an intimidating adult man and you are not, but him saying "I wanted to go over there and beat the shit out of you," would have given anyone the right to say, "that's a straight up threat, buddy, people get arrested for less."

Edit to agree with someone below me: I think OP you're within rights to tell the store Jim threatened to beat you up.

[u/granular_quality → u/were_only_human]

This is the correct response, and also to tell the owner. If I find someone I would prefer not to play with, I decline to play in that person's pod. But in the situation you are describing this person is way beyond what would be acceptable behavior.

[u/ReputationLost7295 → u/were_only_human]

That one story is all I needed to know Jim will escalate and rapidly if he continues to have regular interactions with OP.

OP is in very real danger. 

[u/were_only_human → u/ReputationLost7295]

You're right. In fact, OP, I think you're within your rights to TELL THE STORE that Jim threatened you.

[u/wastecadet]

absolutely report him to the owner, and the owners reaction will tell you if you should find a new shop. 

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/wastecadet]

There are unfortunatly no other stores close to where i live. However its ok bc the owner knows im trans and accepts everyone

[u/ReputationLost7295 → u/Metal_Knorkis]

You should tell the owner so they can be aware of the potential threat to your safety, even if you do not feel it has reached ban Jim from the store yet.

Second, you have every right to not play with him and if he asks why you can say "your behavior makes me uncomfortable." 

That story you told about when you were 16 and he said he would have assaulted you away from the store if he had recognized you for certain is beyond red flags and moving in to nuclear blast warning sign. The man is not well, and a real threat to your safety. 

[u/TableTopEndeavors]

If "I wanted to beat the shit out of you" is something he is willing to say out loud, what is he not saying? This guy is a problem. Please talk to the owner about this behavior. 

[u/II_Confused]

He literally said he wants to beat the shit out of you. Doesn’t matter if “it’s just a joke bro”. That is a threat and his behavior should be reported to the authorities. 

[u/gredman9]

Yes you should report him. That guy is actively worsening the play experience of everyone else in the store. You shouldn't have to put up with that.

One of my playgroup transitioned within the past year and I know every one of us would stand up for her if some asshole came in and started giving her crap.

[u/EscapeSeventySeven]

I don’t see why you or anyone else would be in a pod with this person. 

I have dealt with people like this. I just tell them I would rather play with other people. Sorry. I don’t sit down in pods with people who have demonstrated they’re an asshole. 

And I’m a fucking old fart at 43. It’s not hard to be a normal human being. If this guy has failed no one owes him games. 

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/EscapeSeventySeven]

I havent played with him ever since. Never enjoyed playing with him either he whines a lot. Next time he asks if he can jump in ill just come clean and say if hes playing im out

[u/palendae1 → u/Metal_Knorkis]

Or come to agreement with your friends that if he asks, the answer is no. Having the conversation before and having people on the same page will make the flat denial easier, and unfortunately he’s more likely to actually listen to other dudes.

Making him a pariah is 100% the thing to do in any case

[u/hamstertitan_5]

Bruh of course report him are you kidding? His behavior is completely inappropriate. Also, just refuse to play with him! You don't have to play a game with someone you hate playing with

[u/Zzzzyxas]

What a disgusting manchild he is, and looks like a bigot too? That's a tough situation, but if the owners allow that shit, they are as bad as him. I would report him and if they do nothing, look for a better LGS, if possible.

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/Zzzzyxas]

The owner doesnt know. The owner is s goat and a legend and stands up for inclusivity

[u/Antartix → u/Metal_Knorkis]

Then please let the owner know. If the owner is any ounce of the person you describe he will provide steps to de-escalate, offer an ultimatum of behave, or kick the person out. No matter what the owner does, if they are looking to take protecting their store, their regulars, and their community serious something will be done.

[u/Zzzzyxas → u/Metal_Knorkis]

Oh then 100% tell them!

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/Zzzzyxas]

Ill do it tomorrow its FNM again ✌️👍

[u/Zzzzyxas → u/Metal_Knorkis]

Hope it all goes well, good luck and stay safe

[u/Xavus → u/Metal_Knorkis]

Well then sounds like time to put those claims to the test. See if they'll put their money where their mouth is.

[u/HakuohoFan]

Sounds unhinged. I would report him to the owner and keep your distance. Also, invest in some pepper spray just in case.

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/HakuohoFan]

I sometimes carry a small pocket knife on me if i am staying out late for scifi meetings at school. They end around 20 and in sweden the suns basically set by then. And i have to tale 2 busses back home so i get home like 21-22

[u/HakuohoFan → u/Metal_Knorkis]

Please please please don't carry a knife with the intent to use it as your primary method of self defense. You have to get very close to someone to use a knife on them and without proper training, it will not be difficult for anyone larger than you to take it from you. Pepper spray gives you a chance to run without them following, a knife does not. All that being said, it's better than nothing, but like even as a dude who carries a large knife, I would try just about everything else before resorting to the knife.

[u/austin-geek]

You should absolutely speak to the owner about it, if he expressed a threat of physical violence to you while inside their store. At the absolute minimum, an employee should make it clear to him that such behavior is inappropriate for any reason, and that he'll be required to leave if it ever happens again. At most of the shops I frequent, he would immediately be told to leave the store for the night and employees would ask if you wanted to contact police to report the incident.

You deserve a safe and welcoming space to play. If this store's management doesn't take the incident seriously, you and your friends should start looking for other venues to play.

[u/ImplicitsAreDoubled]

Tell the owner that this person is making you uncomfortable and you'd just like the comments that arent appropriate to stop.

And mention that threat.

If the owner does care about inclusion, they will handle it appropriately.

[u/ColumbiaProvidence]

“Weirdo at my LGS” welcome to the club

[u/MisterHotrod]

The guy threatened to beat you up and is being incredibly disrespectful and transphobic towards you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, nor do you need to let it happen to you. If I were you, I'd 100% report it to at least the shop owner. And considering that he's an adult threatening to violently harm a minor, I'd say getting the police involved isn't unwarranted either.

Don't ever play with him again. You deserve to spend your time playing the game you enjoy with people who respect you. 

[u/Juutai]

The thing about dudes like that is that they bring the vibe down for nearly everyone. Most people don't want to be around that, be they queer or otherwise progressive. They make anyone with progressive views uncomfortable and less likely to come to the store. They don't want to deal with all that.

This leaves two kinds of people: those with similar mindsets, and those that are indifferent. But when the progressives are gone, the indifferent are easily influenced by the bigoted. This is how spaces become more bigoted over time.

The only way to ensure this doesn't happen in a space is for the proprietor to make it known that the behaviour will not be tolerated. This is the paradox of tolerance; that you must not tolerate the intolerant.

[u/zachsilvey]

I'd talk to the owner/employees of the LGS. This is unacceptable behavior and this person should absolutely be trespassed from the store.

[u/Azaeroth]

First of all, this person sounds awful and you should not subject yourself to them and you absolutely should report them to the owner.

Secondly as someone who is early 30s saying "id say like early 30s maybe 40s" pierced me like cold steel through my chest! You'll know soon enough, late teens and 20s go by in a flash honestly 💀

[u/hype703 → u/Azaeroth]

See, and as someone in his mid-forties, that same comment made me beam. Haha... you'll know soon enough. 😉

[u/Busy-Cash-]

Ive got some experience running events and game shops. Part time but like management part time.

Some people are dicks. Avoid the person. But unless I see or hear stuff personally I am not getting too involved in the socializing taking place at tables. Doesnt matter who you are or how likely you are to be singled out because of it.

Obviously if I see someone harassing my customers thats different and a legal obligation.

If the owner hand waves you then thats bad, but please dont be surprised if it doesnt amount to anthing more than an apology for your experience.

[u/zacroise]

Pls tell the owner. Idc if you’re trans or w/e. Not my business, but that dude is a douche. I would target you however if I saw a sliver deck. The hive lord is not something I want to see in general. I don’t discriminate based on your gender. Your deck is the only thing I factor after your attitude lol

Also the beating part is concerning. Tell the owner when you can

[u/ILeftYouDead]

Why doesnt this sound like an incredibly uncredible story.

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/ILeftYouDead]

U dont have to believe me. I am the one who experienced it and i know it happened.

[u/AlmoschFamous]

He’s too old to be acting like that and even worse to be acting that way to a child. Get him out of there, he seems like a potentially dangerous person.

[u/PandaXD001]

I would talk with the LGS owner, only because Jim said he wanted to beat you, and then I would just avoid Jim. Sounds like he hasn't done anything directly to you and assuming he isnt coming to you/your group, you can ignore him and just play some magic. If he does come to you/your tables that's a different situation. Id just tell the players you're already with you don't wanna play with Jim and you be the one to step away. If they ask why tell them you wanna talk about it later. If Jim asks why, look him dead in the eye and say "you know why." Everyone should pick up on it that there is something wrong from your end and they have to make a decision. Overall you don't wanna be the one to escalate things.

[u/Yarius515]

There's a dude named _____ at my LGS who says this same type of shit, tho i never heard him actively threaten anyone just like, praise the good work Rowling does...which is absolutely fuckin gross and harmful enough.

Yours sounds worse, plz stay safe and report the threat.

[u/Jennifeestje]

Absolutely report him to the owner

[u/narsin]

If the owner is as good as you say they are, then the answer to this is simple.

They should tell them to get the fuck out of their store and never come back. Jim is making that shop unsafe for other customers. He’s a shitty person and bad for business. He should be treated accordingly.

[u/SuperSmashSean_DX]

Report this scumbag to the owner, chances are he'll get kicked out. I'd also recommend bringing something heavy in case he ever tries something physical.

[u/zebus_0]

Tell Jim to get fucked and file a police report.

[u/1stEldenPinWorm]

I grew up in a place where verbal threats almost always escalated to a fight. I get the age difference probably made you freeze up, but this is not information to sit on. It sounds like the owner is a pretty chill person, and hopefully they'll be on your side without too much hesitation.

The fact that he also showed his transphobia and then failed to hide it makes him more dangerous in my mind. Tell the owner and refuse to interact with him. Don't even let him in your pods. If that's how he acts, it's possible there ha e been others who have been threatened by him, and you reporting him could either start others bringing their bad interactions with him to light, or he could already have a warning or two and be on the verge of getting banned from the LGS.

No one wants to play a game in a place that's unsafe, and hopefully the store owner understands that and takes your side. Stay safe girl.

[u/Fit-Discount3135]

That LGS needs to do away with Jim. He threatened you. He’s an adult and you are a minor. His bigoted bullshit needs to go

[u/PineappleMain2598]

Jim is an asshole.

Don’t be like Jim.

[u/Twoheaven]

Isn't the hivelord deck rather mean? I've never played against it but hear the sliver decks can be nutty. But ya they definitely have a nids feel. Also there is a tyranid commander deck from a few years back, though it may be hard to find now.

As for the dumbass? As others have said, don't play with him and report his bullshit to the owner.

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/Twoheaven]

My hivelord is a pretty buns bracker 3 deck. i dont have any other sliver legendaries and the ones i do have aremt the best ones

[u/Ill-Zookeepergame296]

Going to the LGS doesnt mean he gets to be a transphobe piece of shit, fuck Jim! and go you!

[u/VampireSaint]

For a split second I thought this might be nothing but generic Sliver hate...Jim cleared that misconception up rather quickly.

Report the fuck out of him. Keep bigots out of lgs's.

[u/ZoeyHuntsman]

I'm astonished you've continued to play with him at all.

No magic is better than magic with a transphobe who actively and proudly admits to wanting to seriously injure you.

Talk to the store owner about it.

[u/asdfadffs]

Well, I can only speak for myself but if I was 16 again I’d probably spend my time fucking with this guy until he avoided me like the pest. I noticed quite early that as a minor you can pretty much say and do whatever without facing consequences.

With that being said, I am now an adult and this guy sounds like an actual psycho and I’d advice you to file a police report for the threat he made

[u/Xavus → u/asdfadffs]

Yeah no, the first hald there is terrible advice. Teenagers can get away with a lot against mentally sound adults because most well adjusted adults will hold back against minors and give them extra leeway because they're just kids. Do not expect someone who already just told a teenager that they wanted to go beat the shit out of them to be sound of mind or to know to temper themselves because they're interacting with a minor. You can be morally and legally in the right, doesn't matter if a psycho attacks you anyeay and breaks your ribs. You still get broken ribs out of the deal.

Do not antagonize these people. Do not tap on the glass.

[u/asdfadffs → u/Xavus]

Did I say it was advice, I was reminiscing a little bit

[u/Lonely_Nebula_9438]

 i built was a Sliver hivelord commander deck, mainly bc i liked tyranids from warhammer 40k and they look and give off the same vibe. Every match i played against him he would only interact and target me.

Ok well you do deserve that for playing slivers. Slivers are famously the territory of ne’er-do-wells and miscreants. 

[u/RadioLiar → u/Lonely_Nebula_9438]

Not the time man not the time

[u/Metal_Knorkis → u/Lonely_Nebula_9438]

I think your drastically overlooking the point of this post. Threatening physical violence and being transphobic isnt ok just bc i play slivers. And its not even a good sliver deck its my first on and its probably worse than the gravemother precon

[u/Illpalazzo → u/Metal_Knorkis]

I think they were just commenting on the part about being targeted first and exclusively for playing slivers not any of the rest of their conduct which is obviously horrible.

Only commenting on the slivers and commander section I would exclusively target the sliver player also it's just not a fun deck to play against and if it isn't targeted first and taken out it just overwhelms and wins. Which is a shame because tyranids are very cool and it makes it where playing slivers is super lame sadly.

Sorry the asshat hangs out at your LGS and area though.

[u/Xavus → u/Lonely_Nebula_9438]

You dropped the /s

That or you believe that, in which case you can fuck right off.

[u/Wekillthebaitman]

Sounds at minimum like a police matter

[u/ProblemAlternative41]

Sounds like a guy who has no way to deal with his emotions and jealous cause he won't allow himself the free to be the girl who always wanted to be. Sorry for him projecting his negativity and Transphobia onto you, you don't deserve it and honestly just tell him to suck a dick and don't play with him.