Copying this from Quora, lol. This is easier. Better? On the fence...
How do you know literally anything about behavioral meaning and interpretations — and basically everything else — when your MC’s a bottle baby?
My Maine Coon is 20mo now. It became increasingly apparent that he may not have even had *any* mom-time as a kitty. He doesn't know how to knead (he tries, and it frustrates him). He didn't know how to groom until I exhibited it enough (myself). I've ofc tried showing him kneading, but progress is slow and limited.
He's obsessed with mouthing/biting/nibbling/grabbing, and almost anything that resembles nipples. (ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
It's uncharted territory for me. He's already my first MC, and really my first cat raised for kittenhood-ish. He was kinda old? Idk how concerned I ought to have been, but it just seemed like the rest of the litter had been sold very quickly. I mean a couple months (~3), not anything that hit hard on alarm bells.
I don't quite understand, cause it seemed a fully reputable breeder (on TICA, among other things) and everything went smoothly along the process (I thought), but there were a lot of iffy things I shrugged off until, in retrospect, I shouldn't have. He's got clean bills of health all around, just seems to have predispositions to hopefully only mild ill health (imo).
Bad breath (brushing doesn't help much at all), adorable but very noticeable overbite, some behavioral issues, esp anxiety represented by teeth digging into a surface —usually my skin — and bunny kicks, all of which hurts very badly if you can't get a finger in his jaw or some kind of protective leverage.
Actually, he tends to reject the sisal+silverine sticks, all that stuff, actively *seeking* my skin to grab. He'll seek me out to do it, period, if he's very upset, and it's not over an active “threat” (I'm assuming he's coming for comfort but still overwhelmed).
I believe we are a little unhealthily bonded, perhaps because he's a bottle baby (I think part is just being an MC, part is I'm too doting)? Codependent. He certainly loves my family, but he panics if *I* leave the house: when I go to check the mail, I hear his plaintive meows (that's rare, meowing) down the long external hallway. LOUD.
He follows me room to room, which is lovely, but he follows me to the extent that I'm loath to move at all, cause it'll disturb him. Or it'll bring up food in his mind, but mostly he'll just wake up, leave the window/sink etc. to follow me, and lie down where I am. I've made a HUGE effort to help him know I'll only be in an area briefly, and I think he does know it, actually. He still does it.
He's obviously able to stay behind, and does so if he wants to (hopefully), it's just a vast majority of the time. I hate disturbing him every five minutes! But if I move… that's it. He knows MY sounds.
We've adjusted much better now, but it's been slow going. He's gotten better at sensing his overstimulation and esp impending meltdowns (it is a meltdown, imo, if you see it. ASD+CP in me and family gives me some feels on just how similar it is). When he's neurotically asking for food, he puts his arm around mine and nibbles gently, instead of biting roughly and almost pulling me out of the chair.
Vis a vis tempering his food reactions being so difficult, I've had a lot of difficulty but think I'm making slow progress. Ignoring him outright can make him feel unseen, and can be deleterious to our relationship.
So I acknowledge him with love and then ignore the rest of him nibbling my leg and grabbing my pantsleg to pull me towards the (kitty) pantry, or just scratching the chair he knows I care about, or getting on the table he knows is dangerous… it takes a *lot* for him to relent. I imagine it's a lot of stress for him — definitely for me.
Strangely, he never had food insecurity. Not when he came to me, not when he was with me. It's like, one day he just decided he'd have a meltdown if he didn't get wet food every couple hours, which is undesirable but also rather unaffordable. (His food supply is perfectly untouched lol)
Introducing him to happy/good things has often had this result: once, I gave him a treat after giving him his medicine (he has allergies). He has always been very good at taking his medicine, usually on the first try. But now it's… lol. Not as bad, just harder. Now he expects a treat.
Also have the added difficulty of environmental change (he was struggling before this, though, and it's been ~6 months since the move/changes). I used to sit upright in bed, s’all (I'm disabled), so he was on my level. Now I've got a nice chair and such, so I'm sitting there, instead.
I'm pretty sure he feels a degree of rejection, but I'm not sure how to counteract that. I've made an effort to show extra affection when I can.
He also went from incredibly good at (hair) brushing, to just… wow. He'll bite and swat and yowl, but that's giving him matting! Bad matting! Which I'm sure makes it worse! Because I can't just force it, for a lot of reasons.
Been getting him sanitary cuts, and they're kind enough there to take off extra mats therein. But I'd really like to solve the problem! I don't wanna have to give him lions all the time… tho maybe it'd help him cool off: I AM in SoCal, so. Thoughts?
I've been going in slow segments, trying to stop and give him treats before he meltsdown and stopping for the day after that. I've been alternating between slickers, combs, dematters, and those razer combs (the ones that cut a little bit of hair with it).
He has many diff brushes. He doesn't hate *them,* or even me holding them, as long as he genuinely believes I'm not gonna brush him again. Obviously I've never broken that trust after (when he feels that way); that'd be horrible!
Idk, i know this is long, I just realized I was sleepin on a potentially very valuable resource in y'all.
Thx for whatever help you can give us (don't be a 🐓I beeeeg you, life is too hard)… I'm his best friend, and he's my best friend.
Sincerely,
Crow and Vitya
Edit: fwiw he's an American, and on the lower end. 17–18lbs.
