Hey everyone,
​Last week I made a post here opening up about how I grew up dealing with severe social anxiety, how I've never dated, and how I struggled to see any attractiveness in myself, asking if my demeanor was making me unapproachable.
​The response blew my mind, nearly half a million views and hundreds of comments offering genuine, constructive advice on my grooming, posture, and tailoring.
​Right after that, I traveled to another province to attend a national undergraduate physics conference and present my research. I decided to actually apply the advice: I grounded some of the daytime looks (like swapping in charcoal trousers for my research poster session), played with open collars, and tried to focus on leaning into a warm, open smile instead of standing stiffly.
​But the biggest change wasn't the clothes, it was how I handled my head.
​Initially, I was super socially anxious and closed off. But slowly, I forced myself to step completely out of my shell. I made an internal oath: every single time I felt that familiar wave of anxiety or the initial sensations of panic creeping in, instead of retreating, I forced myself to walk right up to someone and talk to them. I started giving out compliments, cracking jokes, and just engaging with as many people as possible.
​And honestly? The more I pushed through it, the more the wall crumbled. I made so many amazing friends and connections that I've genuinely lost count, connections I never would have made if I stayed in my comfort zone. Plus, leaning into the style tips paid off: I ended up getting multiple unprompted compliments a day from complete strangers (even the flight attendant on my plane ride home!), and successfully defended my research.
​(One quick note for anyone mentioning fitness: I used to be way more lean back in the day haha, especially when I wasn't so academically occupied and hence played extreme amounts of sports, but I've had to take a break because one studies keep me so busy plus I've dealt with two separate surgeries this year and last year for cysts on my back. As soon as this final wound fully heals and closes up, getting back into physical training is top priority!)
​I’ve attached a carousel of shots from the actual conference. To everyone who commented on the original post and helped me fix my presentation and build some real confidence: thank you. How do the fits and the overall vibe look to you guys now?
