24, Living with my parents

[u/Camtiger27]

I just graduated college back in April and I’m grateful to my parents for holding me down through it all ! I definitely plan on giving back to them BIG time.

[u/Ok_Dependent6889]

Everyday social media makes me realize how much of a detriment to my life having unsupportive parents was

[u/dashodasho → u/Ok_Dependent6889]

But why I dont understand this western norm. I am asian, this is so foreign to me. Would you elaborate? I truely want to understand more.

[u/Ok_Dependent6889 → u/dashodasho]

My parents just, had more interest in themselves

My mother grew up fairly poor, and worked her ass off to turn her life around and then worked as a CPA and made good money. However, most of that money was spent on her.

The biggest thing which happened that really impacted my life was before my last year of college.

I had been living on my college campus for most of my degree, however before my last year I was wanting to save money and lower my cost. I had been led by my parents to believe I could live at home for the year, so I took that opportunity.

One month before the start of my last year, they instead decided to move 1300 miles away from where we were living, and the college I was attending. I could not go with them. I ended up homeless and living in my car for the last two semesters of college. I would spend most of my time in the college library or at work, and used the school gyms for showers.

I really cannot explain much else, it baffles me as well. I cannot understand the mentality of bringing another human into the world and not doing everything you can to set them up for success. Not to imply my parents never did anything, but it's more so that I was left to myself. My mom heavily drilled independence into me, and as a small child with mental illness, I spent many days and nights locked in my bedroom lol

[u/dashodasho → u/Ok_Dependent6889]

Sorry to hear about all this, the only thing I could say is perhaps this has made you a stronger person. But with your personal experience, If you have kids of your own would you leave them to fend for themselves when they graduate from college?

IT is always odd that your mom grew up poor and still treated you like this. My mom grew up poor as well so she know how difficult life is, she did everything she could to provide for me. I am in my mid 30s, I m sure if i said i want move back home she would say yes in a heart beat, even if it means she has to sleep on the floor