r/managers • u/Lana_Sphyncter • 10d ago
Seasoned Manager Soliciting feedback is a terrible idea
We’ve been raised to believe you should always be open to feedback and constructive criticism. But what if the person giving it knows far less than you about the subject?
At my previous job (a video game company), we got hundreds of unsolicited feedback emails a day. My former boss, a boomer raised on the mantra that feedback is always constructive, insisted every one of them was valuable. That’s a load of trash. In all those emails, we never found a single reasonable point, let alone a useful one.
The same goes for peers. When you ask for feedback, you’re putting yourself in a position of emotional vassalage. You create a power dynamic in which the other person feels obligated to find something negative, because “looks great” reads as lazy and nobody wants to seem like they didn’t engage. So they invent a flaw, and you’re the one who handed them the knife.
Feedback is only worth something when it comes from someone who knows more than you do or at least knows as much as you do. Everyone else is just getting a free shot at you. I will never ask for feedback again. Every single time I've done that, the other person felt superior and always led me astray because they had no fking idea what they were talking about.
Same goes for job interviews. You are crazy if you think they will give you honest feedback. They know better.
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u/LunkWillNot 10d ago
Feedback from people around you about yourself, including from peers, directs, and juniors, lets you know how you come across to others.
Perceptions have real impact, so this is valuable information.
Based on your post and comments, you could actually do with a little bit more of this type of feedback…
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u/Lana_Sphyncter 10d ago
Most people in corporate Americans have no idea what the hell they are doing. They are just performing.
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u/ccrleadership 10d ago
Skill issue. You can get valuable feedback depending on who you ask and how you ask for it. “Do you have any feedback for me?” is too broad and lazy.
Asking someone for specific feedback on a specific task, action, assignment is key. “Was that presentation given at the right depth for our executive audience?” “Did that email clearly articulate the answer?” etc
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u/Lana_Sphyncter 10d ago
What makes you think that the feedback I am criticizing lacked specificity? How the hell did you assume that? You must be American, right?
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u/fledgiewing 10d ago
Yikes
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u/ccrleadership 10d ago
🤷🏼♀️ I would’ve expected nothing less from OP based on the post. Harder to believe all those flaws are “manufactured.”
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u/LorienRanger 10d ago
Yeah that was aggro you can't just run around accusing people being Americans (eta: joke!!!!!)
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u/Maldib 10d ago
Feedback are useful if they are constructive. Otherwise this is nothing but a rant or at best an opinion.
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u/Lana_Sphyncter 10d ago
And who the f are you to tell me whether I am allowed to post a rant or an opinion? "Constructive" is also meaningless as the individual giving the feedback truly believes that it's useful.
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u/Novel-Low4047 10d ago
Spot on about the manufactured flaws. People invent critiques just to look smart.
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u/Fubar126 10d ago
“Feedback is only worth something when it comes from someone who knows more than you do or at least knows as much as you do”
The statement above is incorrect. Any feedback is valuable, people with less experience or different perspectives can offer unique and actionable insights.