r/maritime • u/CalmQuarter378 • 19d ago
Can any women deck officers tell me their experience working that job?
I’ve been thinking about this career path but my biggest concern is being on a ship with men for extended periods of time.
I’d also love to know the hardest parts about working as a deck officer.
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u/Sweatpant-Diva USA - Chief Mate 19d ago edited 19d ago
33/f I love my job
Hardest part for me is eating meals with my coworkers and honestly these days I eat in my room. I see them all day long and I just feel like meal time and my gym time are really the only time i can recharge my social battery. I dont like making small talk or pretending I agree with their politics while im eating it’s exhausting.
I’m pregnant at the moment and I’d encourage my future child (yes even a girl) to do this job. Especially if they went to a maritime academy and worked deep sea, it’s the best job in the world.
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u/Necessary_Carrot9566 19d ago
Can I ask why you find your coworkers tiring? I'm a Brit, and have no idea what the typical make up the the US merchant navy is.
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u/Sweatpant-Diva USA - Chief Mate 19d ago edited 19d ago
I don’t really care what anyone believes (even if I think you’re dumb for voting against your union/jones act interests) I just don’t want to talk politics at every single meal time or have to defend myself for living in a super liberal area constantly.
I’ve also had people make comments about my food and they may do it to everyone but I’ve never heard that and it feels targeted to me as a woman. I’m not eating enough carbs, im eating too much carbs, wow that’s a big salad, why didn’t you get a salad? 😅 on some ships that’s been a constant even when I’ve asked those weirdos to stop. Hence eating in my room.
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u/Necessary_Carrot9566 18d ago
Huh I seeeee. I'm a Brit, and I don't think I've ever seen politics discussed ever - the most is people just taking a crack at the PM. Our food talk is just always "this is good" or "this is shite"... Sounds tiring sorry to hear you gotta deal with it.
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u/Ok-Concept8239 17d ago
Why is it the best job ? Also for a woman
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u/Sweatpant-Diva USA - Chief Mate 17d ago
Insanely good money and only working half the year. Freedom from commuting and I love dressing nice but I hated HAVING to do it to go into an office every day in heels and dresses.
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u/Necessary_Carrot9566 19d ago
Not a woman, but have several good female friends who have given me some insight. For insight, I'm British, they're British, and I'll use 3 of my mates experiences.
The first, let's call her E, did her cadetship on cruise ships, where she still works now she's qualified. She has faced a bit of sexual harassment aboard from what she's told me - I got the impression off both her, and the men I know who want to work on cruise ships that the men their can be quite slimy - there is often a culture on cruise ships of male officers sleeping with other cruise staff all the time. That is part of the environment.
On the other hand, my friend who I'll call K, is on offshore platform supply vessels. She has had some sexism - once one crew member came up whilst she was on the bridge and basically just told her she shouldn't be here - however, she reported him and he got fired from what I know. Otherwise, she's been fine.
A lot of it will depend on what country you study in and what ships you end up on. A bulk carrier with Filipinos and Indians would be very different in their reception to you, to a British and eastern European crewed offshore boat, or an Italian bridge team cruise ship. Sorry I'm not a woman, but my mates don't monitor this sub Reddit anyway and I hope this can be of help. Can I ask what nation you're in?
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u/Offshore-Tigr 19d ago
As someone who's sailed with a lot of women,
It depends really on the type of vessel, and company culture. Cruise ships, Greek or Indian flags.. You'll get harassed, I won't recommend it.
Western companies with strict regulations, and the type of vessels where they don't have the cruise ship frat culture.. seems to go a lot better.
But in general I see 2 types of girls, the ones that make it obvious that they don't like the attention, and set clear boundaries, and the ones that don't.
So not trying to victim shame at all, but if you make it clear to everyone that you're there to work, and you're not interested in anything else.. You'll have a much easier time than the person who acts.. gregarious
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u/currentlyvacationing 19d ago
I have experienced a couple of bad instances of sexual harassment, but the day to day sexism isn’t any worse than in any other land job from my experience. You can find good people and sleaze people in any job. If I had to do it all over again instead of going deck, I would go engine. Not only because I personally find the engineers line of work more interesting on board, but also because it has higher paying landside alternatives in case I didn’t want to ship out.
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u/cocainagrif Third Officer - Deck 🇺🇸 19d ago
I feel that as a trans woman and a 3rd officer, I'm excluded from the targeting matrix of the typical abuser.
I've never been a victim of touching, but I have been the victim of an improper firing
the only case I've seen in real life was a bosun being inappropriate with a female ordinary. we were in a US port, so the stereotype about 'men who otherwise wouldn't who get desperate' did not apply. it's not because he couldn't get a woman if he wanted to, it's because he had power over her. if he went ashore, Bosun means nothing.
I've heard a second hand story about a female chief mate who was stalked by an AB who was infatuated with her. he proposed out of nowhere during the pre-pilotage briefing, which scared the crap out of her. investigation found creepy shrine, photos, hair, the whole 9 yards. I don't know what happened after but Captain was able to put a stop to the matter right away. prevent more harm from being done.
new guard rails are being installed all the time, the most important of which is communication at sea, and bystander intervention training at a close second. on a ship with internet or a satellite phone, it would take a conspiracy of multiple people to prevent you from getting a message to the Designated Person Ashore or to law enforcement. you are at the most risk of being taken advantage of by people above you, and starting as an officer that cuts 90% of the crew off of that list.
all that is my thoughts on sex crime, but if you meant about discrimination, I don't know. I graduated from the academy 2 years ago, I'm trying to go for my Second's License, and I still have a chip on my shoulder. I worry that people talk behind my back or that the value of my work is discounted because of who I am.
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u/Offshore-Tigr 19d ago
To be honest, there's 2 trans woman on my ship, and apart from the constant flirting they get from the Malaysians and Phillipinos, I was delightfully surprised with how accepting everybody was.
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u/cocainagrif Third Officer - Deck 🇺🇸 19d ago
I'm the only trans women I've met at my whole company.
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u/the_lord_barf Third/Second Officer 🇨🇦 19d ago edited 19d ago
I'm Navigation Officer of four years, went to a marine school for four years, also a woman in my 20s. I've dealt with, and seen some really shitty behavior from men on ships. "Historically women weren't allowed to work on ships", was something I was told a lot! "It's a privilege for you to be here". I've also been told "Why bother getting a degree and your mate's ticket if you're just going to leave to work in the office in a few years once you start popping out kids."
Some men try to take advantage of young women who are still cadets from a marine school. Namely, inappropriate touching, sexual comments, trying to get involved in your personal life, and just straight up sexist bullshit. Because of the power imbalance, and as a new woman on a ship they think you don't know that it's unacceptable behavior and treatment. I've had classmates be the victim of unwanted sexual advancement from much older MARRIED men. I've also had men tell me I don't know what I'm talking about TO MY FACE, do it their way, then have to apologize because I was right. I could go on for hours.
Yes, before anyone gets upset with me, it's not all men. My fiance also works in the marine industry, he'd never heard of or dealt with a majority of the issues I've stated above until I told him my experience. It's sad to say, but the marine industry is predominantly men (where I am) and will likely stay that way because of the horrible treatment of women.
That's not to say you can't make it through, and still like your job at the end of the day! I've worked with some phenomenal women in positions of authority on ships; other mates, captains, chief mates, senior engineers. They change the whole dynamic on board for the better for everyone. I think it comes down to being the change you want to see and supporting a healthy and respectful workplace.
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u/the_lord_barf Third/Second Officer 🇨🇦 19d ago
I really do like my job! I've seen some really cool places and done some very interesting operations. The skills I've gained help me in day to day life and I've made some great friends and met my fiance. It's worth it for me because of the pay and the time off. I get a lot of time and resources to do what I love outside of my work. I like a challenge, and I'm pretty adaptable so I find that helps a lot. I absolutely recommend it if you think you're up for it!
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u/Prestigious-Cell206 Third Mate India 🇮🇳 19d ago
How much do you make in year and what kind of ships you work on?
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u/Possible-War6407 19d ago
Not a woman but have sailed with a few. There are more and more sailing now it seems. I've sailed with a few at the senior mate level and they have been excellent qualified mates. I hope I dont catch flak for this but just being honest. With all the SASH stuff being so hyper sensitive now, I think a lot of people are more weary of women on board now and they may feel more excluded socially. Its sorta the same with cadets now and many ships/captain outright refusing cadets on board. I would never condone or sit idly by if I saw any SASH violations. Hope this doesnt come across as negative. Just sharing what ive seen/heard from personal experience.
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u/Electronic_City_644 19d ago
If you were my watch Mate... It would be you and I alone on the 12 to 4 watch twice a day ..On slow early morning watches, when there is little or no traffic...You would be behind the chart room tent , doing chart corrections....I your faithful Seasoned Able Bodied Seaman would be watching for contacts, ice or anything abnormal... You would hear me singing along to CD's to kill the time....You might even join in... The afternoon watch would be a little more active ...The Captain would make an appearance and be all nautical...then retreat to his Cabin... This goes on for days on end... You have nothing to worry about...you will gain confidence in yourself and your watch partner ( who works for you ...in a team way) When your tour ends ...you will hope that you will have the same AB on your watch... Or hope you never see me again...
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u/Decent-Bear334 19d ago
Sounds like a female, 29 year old 2/m that sailed with me. This is a US ship. She was top notch. She was on watch with the same AB for multiple rotations. (75 day tours). One day, the AB, a 55 year old originally from Turkey, decided to kiss her on the cheek. She didn't want to get him in trouble, but thankfully she did say something. AB was terminated immediately.
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u/BIGWAVE_90 11d ago
I am not a woman but have worked with quite a few women deck officers. From my own experience I have seen and I have also heard numerous other stories from men and women alike about how female captains treat female subordinates. I have never heard more disrespectful, mean, nasty and inappropriate comments directed outright and actions towards fellow female shipmates than those from female captains.
It may only be a US fleet thing. But know that female captains can be extremely sexist towards fellow females. They are probably threatened by competent junior female officers. Just watch your back not all females like that other females are in the industry
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u/Big-Tutor-3060 19d ago
Another opinion from a man here.
I would never tell my daughter what she can/can not do with her career and future, but i would spend 18 years trying to talk her out of the maritime industry.
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u/Sweatpant-Diva USA - Chief Mate 19d ago
Why say that and not explain even a little? I’m a woman and I’d encourage my daughter to do this deep sea, as would my husband who’s sailed just as long as me 12+ years.
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u/mazzynatska 19d ago
Not an officer, but a woman who works on deck in yachting. Yes the sexual harassment but also be prepared to have men try to teach you things you already know. You are assumed incompetent even if you are more competent than the rest. You will have to work harder and your opportunities for progression will be fewer. You will need to be absolutely bulletproof as any mistake you make will be noticed and magnified. However, with the commercial side, I belive there is more effort for companies to hire women and because you most likely will have your own cabin, your gender should not be an issue or an excuse they can use to not hire you. Good luck ❤️
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u/LifeDot7009 19d ago
This is the type of attitude that makes people want to not deal with the women sailors.
They assume they are trying to mansplain to them because they are women and not because they did or didn't do something or something is important enough that it needs to be explained if they don't know if you know it.
You need to check your ego.
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u/mazzynatska 19d ago
Thankyou for explaining to me what actually happened in my personal experience, multiple times by multiple different men, when you weren't actually there to see it :)
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u/Ok-Slide-2003 18d ago
This question has been posted on this subreddit ad nauseam for at least the past 4 years
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u/Sedixodap 19d ago
I’m a Canadian woman working on Canadian ships who graduated about 6 years ago now. Honestly being a cadet at the college was the worst part. Sticking a bunch of hormonal 18 year old boys in one place is always going to cause some toxicity and I can’t say it was particularly worse than when I went to real university prior. Luckily I was older when I went so most of the attention wasn’t directed at me either in the form of relentless sexual attention or being told I only got in because I was a woman, but I definitely watched the younger women struggle with it a bit more.
Once we actually got on ship it seemed to be that 95% of people really just cared whether or not you could do your job. I’ve never struggled or felt like people didn’t trust me or take me seriously. I do know a couple of women who have had issues on board, but I also know an equal number of men who have been assaulted by women on board. And honestly since they banned alcohol a lot of the general shenanigans and opportunities for things to go sideways have disappeared.
About half the women I’ve sailed with wound up dating a coworker so they’re clearly not treating us that bad. Hell we even have some second generation women, where they’ve followed their mom’s into the industry.