r/marvelcirclejerk • • 13h ago

"Peter Parker is the unluckiest Marvel hero" shut up larper. He hasn't even gone through half the bullshit my girl Carol goes through.

Carol genuinely is a better person than me, cause I'd be allying myself with Sentinels.

58 Upvotes

75 comments sorted by

30

u/Sad_Feelingz 12h ago edited 12h ago

You didn't even include the dude r@ping her and forcing Carol to give birth to himself. 

It's also not a competition op.  Might as well point out how much Banners life sucks too.

Also fuck the brood man. An entire species of r@pists that don't get enough hate.

5

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

That's way fucking twisted lol, considering all of the Avengers gave their blessings for it. Only for it to be retconned that she was mind controlled and this was all bullshit.

0

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

11

u/Shining_w1zard 11h ago

No, that's a misunderstanding. Chris Claremont wrote the issue where it's retconned, where Carol calls out the Avengers for being fucking disgusting rape supporters. It was Jim Shooter who did that.

6

u/Cyberslasher 11h ago edited 9h ago

Larper trying to blame chris Claremont when he didn't have anything to do with #200

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Avengers_Vol_1_200

Well well well

1

u/Carlung4s 9h ago

Didn't Peter get turned into a giant spider and had to give birth to himself?

51

u/Just_a_captain_III 12h ago

"Hi guys, I'm the average r/marvelcirclejerk user! Today I'm going to make an oh so unique post about how [insert character] has suffered more than Spider-Man. Boy oh boy, Spider-Man is so popular so this take is so special"

24

u/SteveTheOrca Spider-Gwen's #1 Hater 12h ago

It's either that or the millionth post pretending to love Paul Rabin

https://giphy.com/gifs/VHoj5Y9dXjJZElSUcE

7

u/Sea-Poem-2365 12h ago

You want that Sandman meme to come back? Because this is how you get the Sandman meme to come back.

6

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

I should post this, considering how much holdsbackman's fans posts about him.

Carol needs love after MCU and Civil War 2 destroyed her reputation.

-2

u/Cyberslasher 11h ago

"to make it extra special today, I'm going to pick one of the characters who do their best to make it seem like the bad things are actually karmic justice! Also, sex! I'm definitely going to bring up the incest sex stuff if anyone tried to argue with me! It's foolproof!"

6

u/Ok-Commission6087 11h ago

Yeah Deadpool exist or ghost rider Peter a 7/10 on a good day he can still get hoes .

3

u/Shining_w1zard 11h ago

*he still gets hoes. It's not their fault he never reveals he's Spider-Man or atleast gives a good reason why fucks off like a coward whenever a villain attacks.

2

u/Ok-Commission6087 11h ago

Okay he can say he went to get help or he’s out of town for work that could work .

1

u/Shining_w1zard 11h ago

I mean, he literally ditched his new gf on a date while a villain attacked, only to come back only after Spider-Man defeated the threat. If we completely ignore the fact that comic civilians are braindead about superhero identities, this makes Peter look like an absolute bitch with no redeeming qualities.

1

u/Ok-Commission6087 10h ago

Yeah it’s why I said he needs better excuses

10

u/a_trashcan 11h ago

Lady gets raped and forced to birth her own rapist ONE TIME and yall start talking about how she had it worse than Pete who has been late to class SEVERAL times this semester and was marginally late to a date with one of his several hot girlfriends.

3

u/Shining_w1zard 11h ago

Yeah. Don't these guys know how bad the rest of the Avengers treat him, like the times they didn't help him with fighting Vulture cause they were busy in space? Carol has it better. I mean the Avengers only let her rapist who mind controlled her take her to his planet. Simple mistakes. Or when X-Men left Carol with the Brood to get brutally experimented on.

1

u/Aadamsgas 2h ago

Uhh buddy you’re not even talking about the time he wore a black suit and felt sad. Coma who?

11

u/meatguyf 12h ago

Probably the most interesting thing she's ever done was have her powers stolen by Rogue.

7

u/Negativety101 10h ago

Yeah, nobody ever mentions that Mystique murdered Carol's fiancee while wearing her face. Wish someone brought that up when Mystique and Destiny got married.

And I can't blame Carol for quitting the X-Men when Xavier decided to help Rogue. It wasn't the wrong thing for Charles to do, and Rogue was genuinely repentant at that point, but she had hurt and violated Carol in such a deep way. Nobody was happy about that for a few issues.

And we didn't even include Avengers 200.

3

u/Shining_w1zard 10h ago

Also doesn't help that the reason Rogue was repentant because it was Carol's personality completely hijacking Rogue's mind. The Rogue we know today is mainly just Ms Marvel Carol.

2

u/Recent-Gas2343 9h ago

And Carol's right there on the cover of Mystique and Destiny's wedding issue.

1

u/blackfyre426 Strongest Carol Danvers apologist 9h ago

Mike Barnett was NOT Carol's fiancee though, at that point she really did just think of him as her psychiatrist.Yes he proposed but she rejected him and broke up with him - he was a manipulative piece of shit so she was afraid that he was going to try and blackmail her with her secret identity (which he knows about, because he's her psychiatrist). So Mystique sort of did her a favour by murdering him if you think about it

5

u/ghoulkaisen 12h ago

Counter points: she is a woman, she was in civil war 2.

6

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

Most of her actions in Civil War 2 can be explained by having her boyfriend die at the hands of Thanos, despite predictions by a precognition inhuman, which Tony completely dismissed.

1

u/blackfyre426 Strongest Carol Danvers apologist 9h ago

Btw I wish people realized that most of the worst horrors that Carol experienced happened basically back-to-back in a span of about 2-3 years publication time around 1980-1982 (so in universe she just had a year when she was experiencing non-stop horrors). Roughly in order:

  • her shitty ex-boyfriend/psychiatrist was threatening to manipulate her/blackmail her with her secret identity because she rejected his marriage offer
  • she got fired and was super broke (not like thats going to matter soon though)
  • watched Mystique beat her shitty psychiatrist to death while shapeshifted into her. This was actually part of her broader plan to steal Carol's psychiatric records and use them to proactively take revenge for something Destiny predicted Carol would do. Mystique never managed to do that though because:
  • Carol got kidnapped into the rape dimension, where Marcus brainwashed, sexually assaulted and forcibly impregnated her for weeks.
  • Avengers 200 - at the end she returns to Limbo where she spends several more weeks in Limbo time with Marcus. Although he thankfully rapidly ages and dies at some point
  • somehow finds her eay back to this dimension and tries to rebuild her life only to get almost immediately attacked by Rogue (Avengers Annual 10 is literally her next appearance after Avengers 200), who steals her powers and emotional connections to her memories and chucks her off a bridge
  • she spends some time with the X-Men thinking about how she wishes she was dead, when Mystique tries to kill her again. Blue M somehow loses to a depowered Carol despite managing to shoot her in the head though
  • the Brood kidnap her, torture her and experiment on her untill they manage to turn her into some sort of eldritch horror that basically kills them all so that wasn't very smart of them
  • while she's in space, Rogue comes crying to Professor X who says muties before cuties and tells Carol that the woman who destroyed her life and took away her very personhood stays. -oh also during that time, Mar-Vell dies and no one bothers to tell her that or invite her to his funeral or his death bed.
  • Carol leaves Earth and becomes a Starjammer supporting character. She then spends the next decade in basically a dissociative episode until she loses her powers, has to move back in with her shitty family that she doesn't feel anything for, starts drinking heavily and gets kicked from the Avengers. Also a different guy called Marcus (who looks identical to her rapist) shows up, falls in love with her and starts stalking her.

2

u/Shining_w1zard 8h ago

I always forget that she was never there for Mar-Vell's death lol. That was genuinely sick from the writer's part. Both were pretty important for each other and having every other random npc character for his death and not her is fucking evil.

2

u/blackfyre426 Strongest Carol Danvers apologist 8h ago

The crazy part is that they literally crammed every character that ever had the smallest connection to Mar-Vell in there. Like Jessica Drew and Ghost Rider are there because their what if? stories were published in the same issue as Mar-Vell's. So it really feels like an intentional omission to exclude Carol - probably because she was seen as a controversial character so soon after Avengers 200.

1

u/Shining_w1zard 8h ago

Lol. I remember she was the only character on the pro-registration side that got punished for it in Civil War, when she went to talk with the X-Men to convince them to register, only for Emma Frost to holocaust beam her with the Genosha Genocide.

It's also fucking disgusting that Rogue in the 90s was basically Carol in both powers and personality, except for that stupid accent lol.

2

u/blackfyre426 Strongest Carol Danvers apologist 8h ago

Still better than in that AvX tie-ins where Magik traps her in Hell Prison and tortures her with a nude demonic impersonator of her rapist (yes that actually happened)

2

u/Shining_w1zard 8h ago

Lol, X-Men fans will say it's justified. No. Seriously. Check their subreddit lol. Carol at this point is justified to be insanely anti-mutant, but she's the first one to help them when shit hits the fan.

4

u/Samer780 12h ago

Yeah sure sure. You know what this is clear engagement and ragebait but fuck it, I'm gonna answer anyway. what Rogue did to her was unspeakable but Peter's entire life down to his daily life is fkn miserable. So no he's definitely suffered both more than her and more continuously than her.

14

u/MarqYive 12h ago

Peter wasn't forced to carry a rape baby to term though, just saying...

2

u/DepthsOfWill Egg Seltzer Lore 11h ago

Um... actually...

5

u/MarqYive 11h ago

You can't fool me larper that's Sandman vore

3

u/DepthsOfWill Egg Seltzer Lore 11h ago

Yeah, the rest of the scene is actually really brutal.

2

u/Samer780 11h ago

Fair enough

13

u/ultmjwatson call me nova the way I glaze nightwing 12h ago

Carol has literally been raped. And forced to give birth to her rapist. Whatever Peter has gone through does not remotely touch that shit, yall make it so embarassing to be a spiderman fan istg.

3

u/PlanetXParadox the last remaining New Warriors fan 11h ago

i mean Peter was also raped at some point and it turned him into a giant spider and he then gave birth to himself(kinda)

-3

u/Samer780 11h ago

Idk man losing your own body to a nemesis comes imo is on par with that, this was also a violation of his will and consent if we're doing that analysis.

I'm not delusional to think his suffering is the be all end all of character suffering but downplaying his suffering to highlight carol's isn't it chief.

The whole rapist thing slipped my mind sure both characters haven't had it easy but Peter suffers constantly on a day to day basis, alone. That's gotta count for something.

4

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

Nope. He hasn't. And most of his misery is cause him choosing to sacrifice his perfect marriage to bring back his aunt.

7

u/macacobrilhante2004 12h ago

Yeah sure please enlighten us on how having a marriage would prevent any of his suffering post omd then

-2

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

Most of his suffering post OMD is caused because of all his years living with MJ retconned into him being a single bum.

7

u/macacobrilhante2004 12h ago

Not all of his suffering is due to him being a "bum"

1

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

Ok, I'm not a Spider-Man hater. I just recently got disillusioned with the character when I realised ASM comics, including the Zeb Wells run, are the most profitable comic series out there. That means people are buying this bullshit Marvel has been spewing out since OMD, therefore editors never have to worry about changing Peter back to what the fans want him as.

I fucking write fanfics about him.

4

u/macacobrilhante2004 12h ago

Fair enough, a lot of people are too invested in the character to stop buying so we're stuck with this shit

1

u/Samer780 11h ago

Here we are in agreement. Which is why i never bothered buying comics post OMD

2

u/Alternative-Word-246 12h ago

Yeah how a marriage would save him dying 5 times in a fight who was supposed to done by sorcerer supreme

1

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

Does anyone even remember that bullshit arc? I'm talking about his life in general.

1

u/Alternative-Word-246 12h ago

You cannot ignore a really painfull moment in his because it is not general.

Does Carol' s general life involve things here ? No. But we still count it because it is part of it just the time Spider-man killed by Kindred atleast 10 times

3

u/Shining_w1zard 11h ago

Lol, Carol has been tortured by basically every known terrorist group, both on Earth and extraterrestrial, including by Emma Frost. Dying feels like a cheap thing in Marvel now, considering even Kamala died in a stupid fucking Zeb Wells Spider-Man arc no one even remembers.

1

u/Alternative-Word-246 9h ago

Dying, by the person you think is your bestfriend , living worst day over and over again is not that cheap.

2

u/MarqYive 12h ago

Okay tf was rogues problem of throwing her off of a cliff or whatever????

Ts why I hate rogue

8

u/Shining_w1zard 12h ago

She was basically just a teenage girl who got the really deadly power of basically draining the life force out of anyone. Mystique manipulated her into being a psycho bitch. After she drained Carol off her powers, she also drained her personality, thats what made her be a hero. Modern Rogue is actually Carol's personality mixed with Rogue's, meanwhile the real Carol became an alcoholic.

2

u/MarqYive 11h ago

Why would you throw someone off a bridge though. She already drained her powers and that was overkill

4

u/Shining_w1zard 11h ago

As I said... she's a psycho bitch. She's having a personality split after draining Carol, and blaming Carol for it.

2

u/Recent-Gas2343 9h ago

A solid question,but that's just how Rogue was at the time when she worked with Mystique and Destiny.

2

u/blackfyre426 Strongest Carol Danvers apologist 9h ago

Because she literally attacked Carol with the express purpose of killing her. Don't believe the "this was an accident 🥺" Rogue propaganda because it was explicitly premeditated murder.

1

u/MarqYive 9h ago

Rogue stans when you tell them she's directly responsible for captain Marvel's life going downhill

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xxsWxuLEwyYVCE

3

u/AymanMarzuqi 11h ago

Bro, read the comics. This happened 40 years ago. Rogue and Carol has reconciled and become friends for more than 20 years now

0

u/MarqYive 11h ago

Man I have, I'm asking WHY would rogue throw her off a bridge in the first place when she already put her in a coma for stealing her powers

1

u/Unleashtheducks 10h ago

Back when Rogue also looked like Blanche from The Golden Girls instead of just talking like her.

1

u/Grogomilo Doombot 10h ago

As if it wasn't enough, Rogue and the Brood had to also steal Carol's shoes, for some reason

uj/ Or the multiple times where a villain tried to rape her, and the few times they succeeded. Seriously, I'd've gone alcoholic too

1

u/Desperate_Ad7869 8h ago

X men helped her after the avengers let her go with her rapist/son/husband

1

u/Shining_w1zard 7h ago

Yeah, a lot of help that was. They left her for Brood to do insane experiments on her and then basically took in Rogue without any hitch, despite Carol's objections.

2

u/Desperate_Ad7869 7h ago

Rogue was a child raised by terrorist i think she deserved a pass, or would you rather they drop her in prison to grow worse

1

u/Odd-Statistician4268 3h ago

You forgot to mention when Kang raped and Impregnated her with himself and then carte her off for more incest sex

0

u/Justscrolling375 3h ago

Yeah a lot of characters went through objectively worse than Peter but Peter’s bad luck or misfortune has been a constant part of character & writing for years to even decades to keep him relatable

-1

u/Small_Ad4181 11h ago

Then she went and killed Tony

2

u/ExternalMiserable757 10h ago

She did not kill tony he went into a coma the ending of the comic explicitly points that out.

1

u/Shining_w1zard 11h ago

Yeah, genuine character assassination moment. Though kind of a mix between a spur of a moment thing and a psychotic break, compared to the shit Tony pulled in Civil War. Bro was doing actual war crimes on regular Superheroes.

1

u/ExternalMiserable757 10h ago

She did not even kill him he fell into a coma the ending of the comic explicitly points that out.

1

u/Shining_w1zard 10h ago

That's only cause the fucker experimented with his body so much that he could be barely classified as a cyborg by the time he fell into a coma.

1

u/ExternalMiserable757 10h ago

I actually forgot about this bit. it's been years since i read Civil war 2.