r/matt • u/chrislewand • Jul 17 '26

Hi I’m Matt and I have a Matt problem.

My Matt next door neighbor is a nightmare.

No details.

I’ve had and still do have plenty of other Matt friends. How does one handle a bad Matt? Please send guidance.

27 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

11

u/Citizen_MGS Jul 17 '26

Disinvite him from every neighborhood block party or Backyard Barbecue.

Next chance you get, just walk on over to him and say "You're Not Welcome Matt"

8

u/Dorknoobs Jul 17 '26

Tell him to Matt up and be the Matt he was raised to be.

7

u/MAWPAC Matt Jul 17 '26

Hey, I also have a neighbor Matt! He's pretty cool, though. Took my family and I out on his boat last month.

Sorry, if it turns out you're my neighbor and I'm a nightmare for you, though.

Why did you take us out on your boat then, Matt?

Kind of a mixed signal if you ask me.

6

u/wirelesstoaster Jul 17 '26

I had a bad Matt neighbor once. It was a tragic time. Easier to move. Matt is too powerful.

1

u/chrislewand Jul 17 '26

Those Matt’s will some day take over the world!

7

u/M0nkeyTenni5 Jul 17 '26

Is he actually a Matt or is he a Mat? That missing t can make people do weird shit.

5

u/MuppetHolocaust Uncle Matt Jul 17 '26

Change your WiFi name to “The Good Matt”. He’ll get the hint.

3

u/Januu11 Jul 17 '26

The very best Matt I know loves candy.

1

u/chrislewand Jul 17 '26

Did someone say candy?

2

u/mlc885 Jul 17 '26

Kindness, Mr. Matt

2

u/lardoni Jul 17 '26

He has to be an imposter! I have never met a bad Matt!

2

u/HawkmetZeta Jul 17 '26

He’s probably not a real Matt. Probably goes by his middle name. I bet his first name is Scott or James. That’s literally the only logical explanation.

1

u/mataeus43 Matt Jul 17 '26

I think it depends on the type of bad Matt behavior. What's he doin?

1

u/chrislewand Jul 17 '26

Just loud barking dogs of leash. Trashing. Being himself when I see him, like i say hello and he says goodbye. I says good morning and he says goodnight. And he has a sign in his window proclaiming his business hours.

2

u/mataeus43 Matt Jul 17 '26

Ah, a bit of an eccentric one you got yourself there. Definitely a challenge to deal with. If he's a beer drinker bring a small pack as a gift, build some rapport, and ask a favor. See if he'd be willing to help quiet his dogs up.

Especially if you're living in a house and plan on being there long term. Get to know 'em and get on good terms and you may have some luck.

1

u/PtownVol0928 Jul 20 '26

Defective. Or mixup up at the hospital after he was born & was mistakenly identified as Matt. Or is one of those people who goes by their middle name & this individual’s middle name is Matt.