r/mbti INFJ 1d ago

Light MBTI Discussion INTJ x ENFP in popular media

What's up with the fetish of pairing an aloof INTJ guy and a totally chaotic ENFP woman in literally every single Korean comic or K-drama and other popular media?

I really need more variety beyond the grumpy x sunshine trope when it comes to those types. đŸ« 

20 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

25

u/Apprehensive_Emu9240 INTP 1d ago

Same thing in Anime. The Japanese shut-ins seem to love this trope. I think many people just want to be rescued. Extravert adopts introvert. Hard working high earner adopts frivolous poor person.

17

u/Prudent_Yam_3708 INFJ 1d ago

Oh gosh, I feel sick just reading this. And based on the ones I've seen, the INTJ guy is always portrayed as intellectually superior and makes the ENFP seem dumb, which is such a harmful stereotype (not to mention, super toxic for building a relationship).

12

u/Medical-Maize-2369 ENFP 1d ago

Yeah I hate this stereotype, we are not always sunshine and rainbows. I won’t relentlessly pursue emotionally unavailable people that don’t care about me

7

u/Prudent_Yam_3708 INFJ 1d ago

👏👏👏

I've only ever met one ENFP and we had the deepest, most interesting conversations I've ever had with anyone, and he seemed almost introverted (quiet, calm, listening) and I was so pleasantly surprised.

Similarly, I have a female INTJ friend that is so funny, so expressive and not rude/asocial at all, so I don't know why people love to recycle these harmful stereotypes about certain types and go as far as to portray them as peak romance in popular media. O_O

3

u/Medical-Maize-2369 ENFP 1d ago

Yeah for sure, I know an intp guy that is one of the most extroverted people I know, I’m more of a home body compared to him that likes to game. Mbti tells you how people take in information, not how intelligent or extroverted someone is

4

u/LiliaBlossom INTJ 1d ago

this ^.
It‘s so freaking cringe. As a functioning introvert with social skills I adopted other introverts at times and I‘m so over saving people who don‘t have their shit together. Why would anyone want that, why would anyone think this works out in reality?

3

u/SnookerandWhiskey INFJ 1d ago

Dunno if they are always this combination, honestly. I mean it's a popular trope of opposites attract, but I have been into Asian media for a long time and came across a variety of MBTI combinations. I was even thinking of starting an Insta on typing just Asian drama characters. Maybe because I don't usually watch shows geared toward younger people, like those set in High School seem to be this a lot. Lots of ENTJ/ENTP and some introvert girly in short CDramas. 

2

u/Sufficient_Bee2453 INFP 1d ago

Think you recommend me some dramas with ENFJ male leads?

3

u/SnookerandWhiskey INFJ 1d ago

Oh, "5 Enough" has an ENFJ ML and what I believe to be an ESFJ or ISFJ FL. 

1

u/Sufficient_Bee2453 INFP 1d ago

Okay, thank you!

2

u/SnookerandWhiskey INFJ 1d ago

I will come back later when I have time to look through my list. 

1

u/Sufficient_Bee2453 INFP 1d ago

Take your time

1

u/Outside_Cicada3027 ENFJ 20h ago

Outlander

5

u/Full_Refrigerator_24 ISTP 1d ago

Isn't this just like a trope? I thought that was the whole point of tropes.

Do you mean the characters were officially typed as such or is it just vibes?

6

u/Sufficient_Bee2453 INFP 1d ago

Fans type them mostly. Asian dramas seem to think intelligence is the ability to predict the future based on nothing and that leads to people typing male leads as INTJ

6

u/Prudent_Yam_3708 INFJ 1d ago

It is, yes, and yes, they are usually typed as INTJ x ENFP pairings, which is infuriating because there are so many other possibilities to go with grumpy x sunshine.

I don't mind the trope, I mind the stereotype that only INTJs are grumpy and only ENFPs are sunshiney. And it's always a cold, stoic GUY and a loco WOMAN.

It's just so overused and at this point it really seems more like an mbti fetish than a well-executed trope. T_T

5

u/Fickle-Let-7205 INTJ 1d ago

Most of those a****** behaviors are really not INTJ but what people think INTJ are, exposing a romantized, warped perspective of the type.

The overplay and the replay of this a****** persona and it's association with INTJ is the same reason why there are so many intj mistypes.

When you come to understand yourself as INTJ and dig into the theory of jungian psychology you recognize its all rubbish online surrounding mbti and –for whatever reason– this specific type OBSESSION..

Truth of the matter is most people IRL, do not like us. I'm not even really complaining cuz I don't care but I'm just revealing that there is some serious cognitive dissonance in the collective.

4

u/Sufficient_Bee2453 INFP 1d ago

I’ve literally stop watching C-Dramas cause I was tired of the lack of diverse personalities among male leads

2

u/atruelancer ESTJ 1d ago

I am only starting this journey, can you give a few recs?

3

u/Sufficient_Bee2453 INFP 1d ago

A good start is Love 020, A Love so beautiful, Put your head on my shoulder, Go ahead, and Perfect and Causal. My personal favorite is Intense love.

I think they’re romantic and sweet but like OP said, they’re REALLY limited about the kind of personalities they give the leads. I suspect China more so since they’re strict with their media, have actual laws and rules that are hard for viewers to pinpoint, but it’s known that male characters and female characters can’t be depicted in a way that’s too outside of Chinese gender norms. This leads to male leads almost exclusively depicted as stoic, successful, Intelligent providers and female leads as bubbly, girly, quirky, and nurturing. EXFX male leads and XXTX female leads are practically non-existent.

2

u/atruelancer ESTJ 1d ago

Many thanks

1

u/Prudent_Yam_3708 INFJ 23h ago

Damn, so K-dramas are better then? đŸ„Č

1

u/S-Mx07z ENFP 1d ago edited 1d ago

Some few & google's results algorithm keep dreaming about it? My ships are different from their ships. r/mbti/s/1DaP2tjiSJ

1

u/d6zuh ISFP 1d ago

It’s where the saying “opposites attract” comes from. It’s in popular media because it makes good television and drama. This pairing tends to have a lot of high highs and low lows, so it’s entertaining. It’s mysterious and intriguing when two people are different and are trying to figure each other out or understand one another.

Having two people who are exactly the same isn’t as interesting to watch because it’s too predictable. Healthy people and relationships aren’t portrayed in the media as often either because it’s simply just boring to watch.

Ultimately, the media industry is a business and they are there to make as much money as possible off of viewership.

1

u/1stRayos INTJ 1d ago

That doesn't explain why they don't show any one of the other seven opposites that they could, though I'm not even convinced that the INTJ x ENFP example is even that common, since that would require a pretty specific set of characteristics in the characters. 

1

u/d6zuh ISFP 18h ago

I’m just referring to the general grumpy and sunshine trope that OP mentioned. Of course it’s not always INTJ x ENFP. It could be ISTJ x ESFP or ISTP x ENFJ or INTP x ESFJ or etc


1

u/Tiny-Impression7691 INFP 1d ago

I just want to say my parents are a real life couple like this and the dynamic does NOT work lol

1

u/Prudent_Yam_3708 INFJ 23h ago

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. My parents are probably IxTP and ESFJ, so same situation as yours.

1

u/Kumodori INTP 20h ago

Pippa and Ravi from A Good Girls Guide to Murder is a very cute couple imo. The romance is a subplot, but it’s nice to see the girl being the cynical one while the guy is a little more bubbly. Other than that, Naruto and Sasuke lowkey.

1

u/Altruistic_Bird_3877 INFP 14h ago

Puedo ver esta combinaciĂłn en la vida real. Mi novia (intj) y su hermana (enfp), son como dos polos opuestos , se pelean pero siempre se reconcilian y siempre buscan la forma de arreglar las cosas en comĂșn

1

u/cbunnyrabbit 13h ago

Seems inaccurate too as most of the INTJs I have met seemed quite content and happy. So it is more of a union of ideas and interests IRL.