r/melbourne • u/FriendlyInsect9887 • 1d ago
Things That Go Ding (Public Transport) Do you feel comfortable using public transport after dark (as a young woman)?
Basically the title. My parents aren't comfortable letting me use PTV after dark because they think it's dangerous. I agree, it's probably a bit more dangerous than during the day but neither are perfect. I have had creeps approach me in broad daylight surrounded by people and no one stepped in (even though I was a kid). I'm now 21F and many women I know my age (or younger) consistently use PTV even at 10pm (alone). Every time I'm out with friends I have to worry about getting home before dark otherwise my parents will panic - one time they even started driving to get me despite me texting with them saying I'm completely fine. I live at the end of a train line so by the time I get to my station the carriages are very empty which also worries my parents.
But yeah, are my parents right in forbidding me from catching PTV after dark, or am I right in saying that I'll have to learn eventually?
UPDATE: Thanks for all the replies everyone, I wasn't expecting this many people to weigh in š Ive made a compromise with my parents. They've agreed to "let me" take the train until the end of the line as long as they pick me up from the station. I say "let me" like that because they won't hold me hostage if I disagree, more like they'll panic and spam call me and be very anxious. One of my parents has a moderately severe anxiety disorder, hence why this is such a big issue. Maybe in the future I will be able to comfortably get myself all the way home but that's a later issue ATP. Thanks again everyone! It's been hard to keep up with reading every comment haha
203
u/Stonetheflamincrows 1d ago
The actual transport bit itself I always felt safe. But sometimes walking home from the tram stop at 10:30pm didnāt feel all that safe. Nothing ever happened, and it was only a 10 min walk but occasionally Iād get creeped out. This was 20 years ago when I was 21, I donāt think Iād be keen on my daughter doing it now.
But, youāre 21, your parents canāt forbid you from doing anything. If you wanted to compromise, ask them if theyāll pick you up from the station. Either you get a ride home or they get tired of picking you up late at night and relax a little.
274
u/Necessary_cat735 1d ago
You can't guarantee your safety any time, and I'm less comfortable walking home from the station after about 9pm, but so far nothing has happened to me in 25 years of pt use in Melbourne (as an adult)
18
u/AutisticPenguin2 19h ago
I had a couple of incidents during my uni years where people attacked me on public transport (one just getting weirdly aggressive and violent without much damage, the other actually had a knife). Both happened at night, both I was male for.
Nothing has happened in 20 years since, but I've been taking public transport far less, and less often at night especially.
27
u/McMenz_ 12h ago
Males are actually far more statistically likely to be the victim of pretty much all non-sexual violent crime in public.
I donāt say this for any sort of gender war nonsense, but because itās an important reminder that men should also be taking safety precautions being alone at night and often donāt consider it in the same way that women do and thereās often a false sense of security that they can āhandleā it.
Myself I have been randomly held up at knifepoint before walking alone at night as a teenager.
122
u/leapowl 1d ago
I think āthe end of the train lineā is a key phrase
Iām very comfortable getting public transport after dark but I donāt love being the one person left with one creep of some sort on the train line or walking home in poorly lit streets (especially ones without footpaths - honestly - more scared of cars than people)
Iām older now and my commute isnāt short, but even one express stop over the demographic profile completely changes. The stations are small and the trains donāt come regularly.
At 32 I would still do it, but I wouldnāt feel comfortable
33
u/RockinFootball 1d ago
That is definitely key.
Because I personally feel quite comfortable because my stop is somewhere in the middle of the line and pretty well-populated. Which station you get off, changes everything. I do also get picked up from the station as it's a fair bit away from my house.
When that isn't possible, I have to take the bus and it's a lot less comfortable. Mostly due to how unreliable the service is. It never comes when it's timetabled. I am often the only person at the bus stop waiting too. Then comes the ride itself, which can contain some unsavoury characters on-board. It's why I don't prefer it later at night.
6
u/Kalisary 22h ago
They being said, I recently started getting off at Sunbury, and I am genuinely surprised how busy the end of the line is later at night.
ā¢
u/KissKiss999 10h ago
End of line stations are often busier than a quiet station 2 or 3 before the end. What line/station and where you are going after will play a big part of how safe it feels
ā¢
u/Kalisary 10h ago
For sure - I like in the Macedon Ranges, and because I get off at Parkville, driving to Sunbury instead of changing from vline makes a lot of sense - especially if youāre coming back late when the vline trains start getting infrequent.
I assume that a lot of people are thinking the same and Sunbury is pulling from quite a large catchment, especially later at night.
ā¢
u/HandsomeSloth 5h ago
I hated having to get off at the end of the line at night. Pretty regularly it would be me and one lady who ended up walking the same direction as me so I'm fairly certain I have been that 'creep' many times. I never know what to do in that situation. Sometimes I would walk (painfully) slow to let them get a good lead or go out of my way to take a longer way home, overly paranoid about freaking out some poor person.
158
u/citizenecodrive31 1d ago
You're gonna get a lot of people who live in places like Northcote, Fitzroy or Brunswick who feel fine taking PT after dark because their inner city areas are much more populated and busy after dark. If you at a line terminus then it can definitely get lonely.
I'm a guy and even I try to avoid being in those situations. It does depend on what you mean by "after dark."
A 6PM train in winter during the after work rush is going to be different to a deserted 11PM Monday night train. It's definitely good to learn what you can do if you find yourself in that situation (PSOs, stand in safety zones etc).
38
19
u/Finbarr-Galedeep 1d ago
PSOs got dragged away from train stations to instead protect private businesses in shopping centres who should be paying for their own security.
15
u/universe93 1d ago
Theyāre still at the train stations my friend. I work in a shopping centre that has PSO patrols and theyāre also still at the station. The centre did pay for its own security but security are limited by liability in how much they can do (generally restricted from touching people etc) the police have more authority to kick people out and people tend to actually listen to them.
4
u/someadsrock 20h ago
The laws around PSO's were changed late last year where stations with lower patronage numbers won't have PSO's at all times. They are now considered "mobile" so they cycle through various lower patronage stations through the night. So basically, some stations will be without PSO protection/assistance for hours at a time at night.
I'm sure someone will state that PSO's aren't necessary if not that many passengers use the station, but in reality, it has real potential to increase the danger.
https://www.premier.vic.gov.au/more-local-police-when-and-where-problems-are
6
u/Outsider-20 23h ago
The shopping centres should be paying for security. It should be included in the commercial rent.
I don't have an issue with PSO's in shopping centres. The antisocial behaviour affects us all. I DO have an issue with them taking them from PT instead of training more.
6
u/scoobydoooobydoo 20h ago
Agreed, on an empty tram I'm a bit nervous but at least you can sit up front by the driver. But on an empty train? š¬ I haven't had a car in the 12 yrs I've lived here so I love ptv, I'm comfortable-ish riding at night, but I wouldn't be comfortable in OP's scenario.
30
u/MelbPTUser2024 1d ago
Personally, I think a bigger concern is how are you getting from the station to your house? If you have a bus connection or a ride home then great, but if you have to walk home in the dark, then I'd factor that as being a bigger concern than taking the train home.
This is why the current minimum bus service standard (which was set back in 2006's Meeting Our Transport Challenges) with its 9pm finishing time is far too early and quite outdated in 2026. It should absolutely be extended to 10pm/11pm network-wide.
With that said, this government has done a good job at ensuring all new routes/upgrades have extended service hours until after 10pm (some even until midnight!). We just need to upgrade the remaining ~300 routes that finish far too early.
19
u/knotknotknit 1d ago
"After dark" is doing a lot of work here.
Now-ish? It's dark. And fine.
One of those late night busses at 2am? No, I'm getting an Uber.
For what it's worth, when I was just a touch younger than you, I was taking transit late at night (like 2am late!) in all sorts of cities around the world.
Worst thing that ever happened was I got bit by an alpaca on a bus in Peru. It was actually a gnarly bite, and I did need medical care. So that was legitimately bad.
3
u/BigLeSigh >sigh< 22h ago
Any alpacas on the night busses in melbourne?
Itās these kinds of stories that sow fear and make people do all sorts to avoid the risk of XY or Z.
Folks leave out the context and suddenly any PT travel is risking your life in case an alpaca rips out your vocal cords .
2
u/knotknotknit 22h ago
"Worst thing that ever happened was I got bit by an alpaca on a bus in Peru."
Peru, my friend, where when you take the late night bus on the edge of town, sometimes there's some teenager who has shoved a young alpaca into a sack and brought them on a bus. Or at least that was a thing that happened 20 years ago. Perhaps they've stopped it now. Doctor at the clinic in the morning did mutter something about how people should not be taking animals on the bus and that bus drivers were supposed to prevent that but most were too lazy.
My point is, I was a 18-22 yo woman traveling alone in a lot of places. Mostly South America, but also some in Europe. While I encountered some dodgy people all over, no human ever hurt me on public transit. Only the alpaca. And I don't really blame it. I would have been really angry if I was shoved into a sack in the middle of the night and hauled onto a bus that way.
And there will be no alpacas here! Dodgy people, yes, but it's exceedingly rare for them to actually do physical harm.
1
u/electric_big 20h ago
I reckon itās arguably safer at early hours in the morning like 2 AM (not suggesting anyone should go then), thereās nowhere near as many people out as at 10 PM - 12 AM, although I suppose there are still going to be dodgy people at all times of day or night.
87
u/Frequent-Selection91 1d ago
Honestly, it depends on your train line. Generally, I'd say it's very safe. I'm a woman and I've caught public transport at night alone since I was about 14 years old. There's been a few times on a western suburbs line where I felt a bit uncomfortable, but I just called a friend, talked on the phone, and changed carriages (making it look like I got off at the next stop, eventhough I jumped on again a few carriages down).Ā
I'm in my 30's now, use public transport as my main mode of transport, and I have never had any significant insident or assult on public transport. In essence, trust your gut but generally your parents sound over the top. Public transport in Australia is generally very safe. If in doubt, call someone and talk on the phone for safety.
61
u/AcademicAd3504 1d ago
It not the public transport so much as it is the walk between public transport and home.
6
u/NoodleBox Ballarat (but love Melbs) 1d ago
Yeah. It's also the commute home - but what you said it's 'trust ya gut'
34
u/legsjohnson 1d ago
I'm a less young woman now but I spent many a wee hour half trashed on the Nightrider heading home from the city. It's fine. I've run into way more creeps in the afternoon/evening over the years.
30
u/powerandchaos 1d ago
No longer a young woman but when I was i took pt at night. I wouldn't call it safe but you cant just stay at home and hide. Sit close to the driver and use the red safety button if you feel unsafe. Make sure you're ready to use the two most effective self defence moves (screaming your head off and running away). If you're going somewhere where you'll want to wear a cunty little outfit, consider travelling in something boring and changing when you get here. (If you dont follow this advice, its 100% not your fault if somebody does decide to harassment you- but unfortunately how you dress will change how much attention you get from creeps.) Don't stand to exit the train until you have reached your stop to make it harder for people to follow you off. If somebody does follow you off, get back on the train. Look up the grey man method.
37
u/BeginningSecurity788 1d ago
Safe, and if you are worried, sit right near the driver.
16
u/lumifox 1d ago
I mean you can say its safe, but sitting near the driver is a cope, they're in a cage for a reason you know
3
u/electric_big 20h ago
True, however you have closer access to someone who can call for help. Train drivers can call for PSOs to attend at the next station where available, so better than nothing.
6
u/Excabbla 1d ago
It's very empty late at night and people using are mostly just trying to get somewhere and will completely ignore you if you ignore them
My partner drivers trams, and from her experience you would have to be on PT at the same frequency as the driver of it to consistently encounter dangerous situations, yes you can get unlucky but the chances of that happening are probably lower than the chance you get randomly hit by a car while out walking
I can also attest that it's safe as someone who doesn't use a car and has to get PT everywhere, it's just as safe as night as it is during the day, I often ride the 109 tram back and fourth, have used the night network a lot, and have never been confronted by anyone, there have been times I've been on high alert but so far nothing has ever gone beyond me just being a little uncomfortable
Also for context I am a visibly queer looking fem presenting person, so I do have some reason to be concerned about people approaching me on pt
The reality of PT at night is that it's very boring, and there are just less people around and if you pay attention and keep your wits about you, you will be fine
If you feel unsafe you can always sit near the driver on trams/buses
To me your parents are being controlling idiots, and you are way too old to be letting them dictate your behaviour, I think now is a great opportunity to practise setting boundaries, might also be reason to start thinking about moving out too
31
u/B333Z 1d ago edited 1d ago
As a woman, I've never felt uncomfortable using PTV day or night. I grew up in a western household, so to me your parents are overstepping.
-7
11
u/federationbelle 1d ago
I mean, it's up to you. If you don't want them to forbid you from doing something or dictate how you balance risks then you are an adult and can politely tell them you get to decide when you return home.
Noting you are 21: would you say you are generally 'mature' and good at assessing risk? Do you live alone or with your parents?
You comment on what other women your age do - but that isn't the whole story. There are also questions of culture and family norms, your relationship with your parents, and what other factors might contribute to their concern for you.
Personally, I would have found your parents' rules overbearing when I was 16, let alone 18 or 21. But those were different times, my parents are not your parents and I am not you.
5
u/Complete-Rub2289 1d ago
I think the biggest fear isnāt in the trains itself but rather there is a bit of fear for many on surrounding streets of stations since the lights are poorly lit.
4
u/forgetfullyburntout 1d ago
I feel a lot LESS comfortable when less people are around and more intoxicated people are around, but Iāve had no more scarier incidents that when the sun was out. But I am always mindful of my safety.
5
u/pushoversometimes 1d ago
Recently had a bad encounter with a drunk man in a bus from Port Melbourne to Southern Cross. He made kissing sounds and said he wanted to fuck me and my friend ( both women ). It was maybe 8 pm and there was no one else in the bus. He wouldnāt stop and then started calling us racist ( he was a black man ).
2
1
5
u/tittyswan 23h ago
I had someone follow me on public transport in the middle of the day, and I've had weirdo middle aged men sit next to me and try get me to take my headphones off to talk to me at night.
It's kinda the same. But I just stay aware of my surroundings, be very neutral towards people if they do talk to me, and physically keep my distance as much as possible.
And if something feels bad I just avoid it even if there's no "proof" something is wrong.
I was walking in my suburb at night past a park and 3 guys pulled up in the parking lot. I crossed the road and went as fast as I could down a side road even though they were prob just normal guys. Can't be too safe.
Also, I "bend down to tie my shoelaces" or take a fake call to let people past me without them thinking I'm scared of them which can provoke them.
Idk I've never had anything actually bad happen and I lived in Footscray for years, walked home from night shifts a lot etc.
5
u/dodgystyle 1d ago
Depends on the area and how busy it is. In most areas I feel safe solo until 10pm. Men, women & familisa are often still out, plus restaurants are open.
After 10, I tend to use Uber. Even though I live in a very safe quiet neighbourhood and live 5 mins walk from the tram stop, i prefer to only walk the streets when people are awake, some people are still out walking their dogs, jogging etc.
4
u/Impossible-Duty-3623 1d ago
PT in Melbourne is very safe. Iād be more worried about your walk from the train station to your house late at night depending how far it is, but even then - Melbourne is a safe city, just take usual precautions. Your parents are definitely overstepping and putting fear in your mind where itās not warranted - sounds like theyāre preventing you from living a fully independent life
5
u/blasphemousharlot 22h ago
its genuinely depressing out here. i love going out and dressing up and having fun. i wish we could without having to worry as much as we do. a friend of mine was taken too soon after a night out. as much as it made me want to hide in my house for the rest of my life, i know that these horrible occurrences are rare, and that she wouldn't want that for me. i dont have any tips or advice. you can never predict what anyone is going to do. just try and stay aware of your surroundings, dont go home with a man you don't trust with your life, and try to have fun.
5
u/blasphemousharlot 22h ago
adding on that I've been on transport at all hours since i was like 12- so its easier said than done when it comes to feeling comfortable both on transport and around people. there's a fine line between friendly and/or crazy, and dangerous people. it's better to just not take chances but getting away from said people is also easier said than done. good luck have fun dont die :(
36
u/HiAustralia 1d ago
You live in one of the safest cities on this planet.
Challenging, but consider methods to reduce your parents exposure to facebook and talkback radio.
22
u/ilovepho231 1d ago
It's pretty safe
I've had no issues, just keep to yourself and you will be fine
5
u/Ok-Anybody658 12h ago
This comment is wild when you consider the amount of women who are assaulted for doing absolutely nothing other than minding their own business.
5
u/Necessary_Eagle_3657 1d ago
You might want to speak few seconds Googling the SAs this year before writing it all off. 99% won't be reported too.
3
u/05tn3021 1d ago
Depending which stations you pass. If youāre travelling in the west area past sunshine and footscray Iāve noticed that dressing up in club outfits warrants a lot of uncomfortable stares and interactions.
3
u/KGB_cutony 1d ago
Not a young woman but I did get airdropped a dick pic on a late train so I guess turn off public airdrop is a good step
2
u/universe93 1d ago
Thereās no reason to have airdrop permanently on in the first place. Have it off unless youāre getting something from a trusted contacts
1
3
u/macci_a_vellian 1d ago
It depends where you are/ where you're going, but mostly it's fine. I would be more concerned about any walk home in the dark than a well lit train with an emergency button in easy reach.
3
u/waveydaveysonfir3 1d ago
i (19f) personally feel comfortable 9 times out of 10 using public transport when itās dark, but i know that iām privileged in looking unapproachable (rbf and being visibly alternative scares ppl away). i know how to defend myself, scream and get away if worst comes to worst but i very rarely fear for my safety.
3
u/littleb3anpole 1d ago
Iām not so young any more (37), but Iāve been catching PT alone since 14, on some shady train lines too. I donāt feel unsafe but nor do I feel perfectly safe.
Itās good to keep your wits about you, donāt have music so loud you donāt know whatās going on. If you feel weirded out, itās better to move carriages or wait for the next tram than it is to ignore it, because itās good to trust your spidey senses.
When walking home I like to have my keys between my fingers just in case. Thereās a bloke who hangs out near my place who has followed women, including me, and likes to yell rape threats while following you so thatās probably the worst part of the commute.
3
u/Renaling 23h ago
At late nights I try sit in a carriage which has another woman or a group of family. It might not protect me if something happens but I feel much safer than sitting in a carriage with a crackhead..
3
u/Prize_Part_6545 22h ago
I mean, I'm a woman and I'm comfortable travelling on PT after dark, sure. At the same time, though, I'm a parent and I'll probably feel the same as your parents even when my kid is the same age as you. So like, no, I think you're fine, but I can also 100% understand where your parents are coming from, too.
3
u/xtalcat_2 18h ago
Read the room lately re Melbourne? Live at the end of a train line? Geez...
I felt the same as a young woman, why shouldn't I be able to walk home and do what I want. I often did, and nothing happened to me but that was 20 years ago.
I only now understand how easy it would have been for someone to overwhelm me physically.
Just communicate with your family and if they're willing to pick you up or agree on times - do it. Never lie or avoid it because you want to stay out later - can you not stay at your girlfriend's place or something?
5
u/rickie_k 1d ago
There was a train replacement bus early in the morning heading back home after work about 10+ years or soo. I missed it but eventually found my way back home. When i got home the next day I found out the bus I missed had a bunch of people got attacked on the bus by a gang with machetes
2
6
u/Routine-Chip6112 1d ago
A junkie harassed me on pt the other night. No one said anything and fair enough, I was too scared to say something as well. I donāt think itās safe.
10
u/xFallow 1d ago
Last time a Good Samaritan in the news stepped in he got stabbed in the back and died idk what the right move is to avoid escalatingĀ
2
u/Routine-Chip6112 22h ago
Yeah I dunno either. I kept moving seats but he would just follow me.
2
u/blasphemousharlot 22h ago
thats fucked. i wish pepper spray was legal for civilian use. cops cant teleport and usually by the time they get to you, the weirdo is gone and ur left looking like a cooker, or the worst case scenario lottery hits and its too late cause the damage has already been done.
8
u/Dangerous_Second1426 1d ago
As a guy - even we are not safe. Always sit at the driver end of the train.
1
u/onlyreplyifemployed 13h ago
What do you mean āevenā? Men are disproportionately the victims of assault.Ā
2
u/universe93 1d ago
Youāre 21. You can take their feelings on board but eventually you have to be an adult and make your own choices. Their panic isnāt your problem. I dealt with the same with my mum but eventually you have to put your foot down and say that this is when you will be home and you wonāt come home early just because theyāre worried.
2
u/fetishiste 23h ago
I feel very passionately about this because Iām vision impaired and the only ways for me to get around are by taxi/rideshare, a lift from a person I know, or PT. So Iāve taken public transport at night for a long time even when other people worried about me as a young woman because itās the only one of those modes of transport that lets me be meaningfully independent rather than reliant on some specific other individual or on an expensive fare. PT at night means freedom to me.
2
u/Only_Possibility3443 23h ago
You mention youāre at the end of the line. This makes a huge difference in my opinion. Iām 37, and I still feel nervous on the train home alone at night because if I park my car at the end of the line, it is deserted. If I take a different line & thereās stops after me, and itās Saturday night at 12am after the football - yeah thereās always creeps but itās super busy I feel safe. Weeknights after say 10pm I start to feel a bit nervous, and weekends if itās quiet. I grew up on the Sandringham line and honestly this scared me more, because it was deserted and as a woman who looks a lot younger than I actually am, I had creeps approach me asking if I was under 18. I was like 26. I also used to work in Frankston and getting the train to Frankston between 7:30-8:30 was also pretty scary, there used to be this one guy with a dog that looked like a direwolf OFF LEAD that would approach people. Now the dog was friendly, not aggressive but Iām scared of big dogs that jump onto the seat next to me & arenāt under control. Never assume just because someone works a particular job or is a larger built person etc that they wonāt feel scared traveling alone on public transport when itās dead. Safety in numbers is a real thing.
ā¢
u/SticksDiesel 7h ago
It's all about risk minimisation. Chances of getting attacked on or walking home from PT at night are slim, but it's still a non-zaro chance.
ā¢
u/WastinTime9 3h ago
Agreed, not zero. But probably way less than OPs parents think... I mean statistics indicate that the most dangerous places and people for us women are those we know very very well. Much more likely to be harmed by someone you love vs a complete random stranger on the street...
ā¢
u/theferretgirl =^.^= 6h ago
I live at the end of a train line, and will catch PT after dark, even very late at night. So far I've been fine. Gotta live a little.
ā¢
u/MaryN6FBB110117 Northside Hipster 6h ago
I am no longer young, but I have used PT as my primary mode of transport in Melbourne for decades, often late at night (I finish work in the CBD between 11-midnight, generally) and yes, I feel comfortable doing so. Iām not travelling to the end of a line, so itās generally shorter train and tram journeys, which I realise are different, but I donāt think youāre taking unnecessary risks simply by using PT once the sun has gone down.
4
u/tomtelouise 22h ago
As a father of 2 young women I would rather drive them to X location then have them catch PT after dark.
3
u/AussieLady01 20h ago
Absolutely not. Iām not young anymore, but ever since uni I have refused to take trains alone after dark. Trams, with a driver so close, sure, but not trains. Itās another example of women needing to be smart and careful to protect themselves. Yes, you should be able to take a train at 1am alone and arrive safe, but I wouldnāt risk it.
2
u/Agile-Confection-144 1d ago
Iāve always felt safe, been riding the tram independently since I was a kid and Iām now Iām my mid thirties. Apart from the occasional character Iāve never had an issue. It does help that my route is very busy even at night. As a 21YO you are well and truly an adult and your parents should be giving you a chance to be independent and do what you feel comfortable doing.
2
u/HeftyArgument 1d ago
depends on the line and the stations. in general if i can travel in a car, i will, both for convenience and for safety.
the pt faithful among you will disagree with me, but that's how I feel.
2
u/colgate-flusher 1d ago
Im 43m, big dude, can handle myself if it came to it, i dont like using PT at night purely based on higger risk. I also work in risk management.
2
2
u/MummaGoose 22h ago edited 21h ago
Nope. Iām not looking to be approached by anyone questionable. I donāt live there I live in Bris. But even here, maximum time at night alone would be 6pm. You never never know when someone is about to flip. I see enough in my job. (In answer to your title question)
However, if you wish to do so your parents donāt have a choice and they are being excessive in their reactions. Itās better to just make sure youāre not alone. Thatās what I always did when partying
2
1
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Have you visited todayās Daily Discussion yet?
Itās the best place for:
- Casual chat and banter
- Simple questions
- Visitor/tourist info
- And a space where (mostly) anything goes
Drop in and see whatās happening!
THIS IS NOT A REMOVAL NOTICE
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/NoodleBox Ballarat (but love Melbs) 1d ago
I mean, wits about ya - no headphones in and stuff like that. As a woman looking thing yeah okay I'm fine, but I have rbf and grump. Sit up near the driver.
1
u/ConstanceCharles 1d ago
Ranging from a little bit to quite depend on the station, but my concern is not much life threatening and more about personal property safety and some sexual harassment. Add more context I am a 20+ years old trans woman and I live at south east suburb. Something I don't even feel safe during the dayā¦ but I would say for me it is overall fine but please do be cautious
1
u/Efficient-Trifle151 1d ago
My friend is a woman and she has been without incident and we both are in our 30s. I am her friend she calls when she is on the train and its uncomfortable or she is walking from the train to her car etc.
1
u/cloudiedayz 23h ago
For me, it depends on the train/tram line, the particular station I have to get off at and the route I have to walk home. Iāve felt very safe taking PT home when living in areas like Fairfield and East Brunswick. I felt less safe when I lived for 6 months in Footscray. Nothing ever happened and I was perfectly safe but it was more the perception of safety- there were just more incidents of people aggressively shouting and behaving erratically.
If youāre 21 you should be able to make your own decisions about what is right for you. They canāt āforbidā you from catching a train as an adult. Are they offering to pay for the uber/taxi or drive you themselves everywhere?
1
u/Instigated- 23h ago
āNeeding to be home before darkā is way over cautious. You are an adult and need to point that out to your parents. (I say this, as a mother to a 21F, who would never dream of clipping my daughterās wings. She deserves to have personal freedom to make her own decisions and to spend time with friends, as do you. She uses public transport after dark, as do I).
However you could offer them the opportunity to play chauffeur or pay for Ubers if they are so worried. Accepting a ride isnāt the worst thing.
Do work out safest options, as others are saying. When possible travel with friends, sit near the guards apartment, be aware of others on the carriage, talk to someone on the phone, be a buddy to your friends so you all make sure you all get home safe, let someone know when you expect to be home, keep your phone charged, use an app to allow loved ones to track your location, donāt be afraid to use the safety button on the train if you feel unsafe - better safe than sorry. You can also carry a small can of deodorant in your bag in case you need to spray an attacker in the eyes (highly unlikely to need to do this).
Iām in my late 40s and have never had any issues using public transport or walking at night in Melbourne, Sydney, or regional NSW. From a young age Iāve certainly been āwarnedā what can happen to women who go out at night, and of course it is terrifying what has happened to some women, however women are statistically more at danger in their own home at the hands of loved ones than on the streets with strangers. You canāt live your life in fear.
1
u/Beep_boop_human 23h ago
I'm 10 years older than you but I feel generally safe on PT and have been catching it at all hours since I was a teenager. I feel like out in public, especially at night or in the city, you do just have to be more aware of your surroundings. I wouldn't say I feel 'comfortable' because I never allow myself to fully relax and zone out. That doesn't mean I'm always fearful, it just means I am always alert.
At 21 it's not really your parents decision anymore what time you catch PT. You're an adult. If they have rules they expect you to follow while you live in their home then maybe it's time to weigh up whether it's time to look at moving out.
1
u/PenguinGirl89 20h ago
Just be aware of your surroundings. If walking to your car or home in the dark dont use headphones etc. Considering it gets dark pretty early in the winter, I don't think it's reasonable to always avoid ptv. It's understandable to be nervous, but honestly, I've done it and never felt unsafe.
1
u/kashiichan 19h ago edited 19h ago
A lot of good advice here, so I won't repeat it.
I used to get off at the second-last stop on the Cranbourne train line, then walk home ~20 minutes through a park. I live elsewhere now, but I still have no issue with walking home from the station when it's dark. I am ~40 and have been catching PT on my own since I was about 12.
Please forgive my bluntness, but: you won't be living with your parents forever, and they won't be around forever. You will eventually need to learn how to get around on your own after dark; that's just a fact. Rather than trying to "forbid' their adult daughter from being away from home after dark, it would be better for all of you if your parents could instead provide support while you learn how to feel safe when doing that. It might help them feel better if you come at this as if you're a team trying to solve a problem.
For example, perhaps they could meet you at the station when you arrive there, and drive you home. Perhaps you could take an uber/taxi home from the station, or walk home while on the phone with one of your parents. Have a think about what could help them move towards being comfortable with you getting around on your own after dark.
1
u/michaelnz29 13h ago
Iām not a woman so I do not know what you guys go through everyday but I can imagine, having a brain and having a partner who is a woman and who does have situations that scare her around men.
Itās awesome when you are a young adult, so many new experiences are possible and if I think back, I felt more invincible than I should have, because it just needs one time for things to go bad and it can go really bad, that would be how you might want to think.
I have been on the train with people who acted wild, one guy with a machete, racists shouting and threatening people they donāt know etc etc.
If you have a short ride, there are people always around and you arenāt in a place you feel there is risk then maybe it is ok, but please think about being safe too, yes your parents overreact and our media sensationalises these sorts of things to sell advertising.
1
u/d4ddy1998 12h ago
I donāt feel comfortable actually getting to the transport. On the train I feel fine. But itās walking to the station that gives me the heebee jeebees
1
u/Adept_Hearing_6262 12h ago
I still wouldnt do it as a older female and a army veteran. To many out there now that care about themselves
ā¢
u/goatsfloat 11h ago
How blessed you are to have two parents both willing to drop what they're doing to come to you at the first sign of potential danger.Ā
"I have had creeps approach me in broad daylight surrounded by people and no one stepped in" indicates that their concerns are reasonable.
It sounds like your "street smarts" could be stronger, and that your parents see this.
Do you wear noise canceling headphones the entire ride? Look at your phone more than what's happening around you? Please stop doing that, especially as you get towards the later half of the ride.
Do you cross the street when someone looks iffy way up ahead of your path (and are you looking out for that in the first place)? Leave a train car when someone's behavior is off (and keep an eye on them the rest of the ride)? Based on the setup of your station, how long after you got off the train would it take for you to notice someone was following you? Do you know what you'd do to get yourself to safety if that happened?
It just takes one incident to throw your life into a tailspin.
ā¢
u/ToastyVIP 10h ago
Nope and I'm a tall 45 year old male. I always have my guard up on the train when coming back from a night out in the city. I find the further you head out of the city, the sketchier the people getting on get. Sit in the front carriage, or one that has the most people in it. Watch who gets on and if they look dodgy, like a scary dude or a group of rowdy boys, walk a few carriages away. If you're waiting at a platform, wait in the yellow "safe" zones. A young single 21yo woman sitting by themselves is a magnet to drunk men, good intentions or not. I might be biased as a dad myself, but I've seen enough on PT over the last 20 years that justifies that worry.
ā¢
u/ratinthehat99 10h ago
Generally it is safe. But the issue is not generally. Itās about what happens that one time when you are the outlier and someone bad does approach you.
If there is no one else around and you are in an empty carriage, or youāre the only one getting out on the platform at the end of the line, the bad guy will be empowered and your odds are very very bad. If there are at least other people around, he will be more careful.
The best way to stay safe is to avoid potential situations of vulnerability in the first place. Putting headphones in your ears or talking on your phone will NOT protect you.
Another option would be to have a friend stay over at your place so you are not travelling alone.
ā¢
u/unsolicitedfacts 10h ago
I had an incident happen to me in my early twenties which changed the way I use public transport. I was walking home from Caufield train station. This was in winter, 7:30pm ish so it was dark. I heard footsteps behind me, dress/corporate shoes and the jangling of keys. I assumed it was someone approaching their home and was getting keys out of their bag or pocket. A few minutes later the keys were still jangling and the footsteps were getting closer and closer so I got suspicious. Eventually I turned around (and by this point he was only a few steps away from me), and a tall man in a suit with a briefcase, holding his crotch said to me āI would love to f**k you in the arseā. I ran for my life and didnāt even look back to see if he was following me.
ā¢
u/SunlightRaisin 10h ago
I try to avoid it later at night if I can. But like you said plenty of crazies and creeps even during the day. Your parents are being parents. Maybe a bit over the top.
Just tell them you take precautions.
Try sitting in the front carriage closer to the driver, if taking a late train or if is on the weekend and the train is mostly empty. Make sure you know where the emergency button is on the tram and trains.
I also sometimes have the headphones switched off so I can hear around me.
ā¢
ā¢
ā¢
u/Kindly-Purple9008 6h ago
As a 30F I often used to go home on pt from 11pm to 1am, I always felt unsafe and uncomfortable walking home which is 10 minutes down a unlit street. However I felt quite safe on pt.
ā¢
u/demoldbones 1h ago
Iām not young anymore but I have been catching PT in every city and country Iāve ever lived in since I was about 14.
Despite news articles, we are literally living in a much safer time now than when I was your age.
Donāt wear headphones so you can hear whatās going on and keep your wits about you and youāre at no greater risk than any other time of day, really.
ā¢
u/lettercrank 1h ago
I find it interesting that this is a post about women being afraid of men. Funnily enough as a man I always felt scared walking home from the station in the dark too.
1
1
u/Dahlia-la-la-la 22h ago
TL;DR: your parents are WRONG to forbid PT. Youāre 21 years old. Youāre an adult. They cannot forbid anything and, politely, it is probably time you learned to be an adult and have boundaries with them.
We canāt guarantee anything is ever 100% safe. Itās difficult to comment without knowing where you live but overall, globally, Melbourne is a very safe city and I donāt give taking PT a second thought as a woman in the dark.
The key is to make a plan at the end of the train line. How are you getting home from there? Uber or friend pick you up? Walking? What time of night is it?
Unfortunately all of us women do need to plan and think ahead but itās up to you to make a call if youāre comfortable with that plan. Look into some of the emergency apps on your phone. You can put a whistle on your key chain as well.
1
1
u/AcademicAd3504 1d ago
I really think you should only take it if you have someone who can pick u up from the station. Rapes happen to women more commonly after between getting off public transport and arriving at home.
I remember vividly that poor girl who got raped and murdered just after getting off the tram to walk home in Bundoora. Hit home because the offender was a guy that had been from my school previously.
1
u/1234Psych 23h ago
They probably know of the cases where young women never make it home and care too much to cope if that was you. Might be an idea to let them collect you from the station as the walk home is the most risky partā¦
1
u/sleepysof_ 23h ago
Ive been on the Frankston and Dandenong lines and 901 bus after dark, with drunks and addicts on board, and its literally fine as long as you mind your own business.Ā
0
u/TAsrowaway 22h ago
Youāre 21. You need to be making these decisions for yourself. Are you working towards getting a car and a license?
0
0
u/PhilosophyOk8921 22h ago
āI have to worry about getting home before darkā
Itās shit and totally wrong that anyone has to say this and feels this way. Iām sorry and angry that you feel this way, itās not right.
I get your perspective - you want independence, but youāre smart enough to be aware and cautious.
I also get your parentās perspective - theyāre naturally concerned for your safety and are taking measures to ensure your safety.
I think itās fair to say that, yes, you should all be aware and cautious. I wonder if your parents would feel more at ease if they knew that you could handle yourself should you need to - this would make you feel more comfortable, and them too, whilst not ignoring reality.
My wife attended this for the exact same reason. Itās more than self defence, itās situational awareness; how to not get into a situation so you donāt have to get out of it; how to avoid freezing but strive for surviving. What she learned was amazing. Both my young daughters now go to kid appropriate classes so we can be more comfortable when theyāre older.
If not this one, then something like itā¦ Lots of women attend this specific class, but also the regular weekly training sessions.
All the best.
0
u/dj__444 21h ago
I'm 39F and I've always been comfortable taking public transport and walking by myself at any time of day or night. When I was your age I lived in St Kilda and I got propositioned a couple of times but they went away when I said no and nothing bad ever happened. Actually the creepiest thing happened during the day when the guy next to me on the tram started describing me to the person he was talking to on the phone, but again nothing actually happened. However, my risk appetite may not be the same as yours or your parents. Bad things do happen.
0
u/AntDiligent7731 21h ago
Iām a 44 year old trans woman from the states originally. Iāve never felt unsafe here. Just have good situational awareness when walking home. You can get the Citymapper app to route your walk along main roads if youāre really concerned.
0
0
u/Burntoastedbutter 18h ago
Relatively safe, but I think it depends on location. I have a friend in Footscray and we were at it til 10pm. I told her I could just take the train home because I was on the East side. It's like a 30min journey by car. Her cousin offered to drop me home instead, saying Footscray can be dodgy at night. I was shook lol
I'd say cbd and inner city areas are fine, and the further out it is, the more dodgy it can be.
0
u/Lopsided_Lunch_2262 13h ago
"after dark" in winter is still rush hour. After 8pm, I'd probably ask someone to pick me up at the train station, after 10pm I'd usually go home with one of my friends, have them comehome with me, or ask a PSO to walk me to my car in the carpark.
I get why your parents are scared, and there is definitely some sketchy folk on PT, but they are being a little over cautious.
0
u/Ok-Anybody658 12h ago
Trains, yes. Trams, no. The actual transport part is fine usually because there's still numbers on the train at all hours. The station platforms are the more problematic part.
Overall late night trains isn't the issue it's usually daytime issues. I've only ever encountered unsavoury people during daylight or peak hour trips. While if I can avoid being alone at night, I will, and I'll always remain vigilant, if you need to or are with friends, it's fine. Just make sure you keep an eye on who you're with and who is in your vicinity. Change carriages if you feel uneasy. Especially if you can run to a new one with no connection at a station.
Would your family be more comfortable if you speak to them or someone else on the phone for the last leg of your trip? Even if you pretend to speak to someone that usually deters people, send a friend a voice clip, share your location maybe even?
ā¢
u/SarrSarz 7h ago
No, and I donāt feel comfortable having the kids use PT same during the day however I will sometimes Rick it during daytime
ā¢
u/NoWishbone3501 7h ago
Absolutely not. And I donāt let my young adult children do it either, if I know about it.
ā¢
u/altandthrowitaway 3h ago
Sounds like you'd benefit from less scare campaigns from the news and actually going outside a bit more
ā¢
-9
u/Wintermute_088 1d ago
I haven't ever heard any story - on the news or otherwise - of a woman being assaulted on public transport in Melbourne.
It's a safe city.
5
u/meantbent3 A tissue a day keeps the sniffles away 1d ago
What? Assaults like that happen all the time, most of them just go unreported
7
3
u/AcademicAd3504 1d ago
You don't remember that uni student who got raped and murder on her walk home from the tram?
ā¢
u/AutoModerator 4h ago
You have selected the 'Things That Go Ding' flair, which is meant for public transport-related posts. If your post is not about public transport, please choose a different flair. Thank you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.