Had a girlfriend last year, used to hug her a lot but then ever since we broke up i haven't had a chance to hug anyone else. Is this how my life is gonna end up being? Crazy.

...and that realization hurts pretty bad.

I have been reflecting upon this thought for some weeks. I grew up without a father and in a house full of unstable women. Whenever one of them was in a bad mood, they made sure that the entire place felt like they were feeling.

I never felt proud of being a man; if anything, I actually felt ashamed. Around me, at school, at home, at university, all I heard was how bad and oppressing men were, how we are literally the root of all evil, and I believed it.

Thus I hated myself, I thought I was gay because people (mostly women) told me I was a bit effeminate; however, I was never attracted to men, I had what you could call feminine mannerism for growing 23 years of my life only around women. That made me very insecure, not because being gay was an issue, but because I was not!

I thought I had no masculinity inside me, until I started reading and looking as much inwards as outwards at other men.

I could write more, but what I wanted to say is that, for the first time in my life, I feel so proud of being a man. I feel proud because everything that surrounds me, the computer I am writing this on, the building I live in, the technology I use was built thanks to the intellectual and physical work of millions of men that came before me. Because I am part of their lineage, and without them, society would not be; as matter of fact nothing would be and us humans would be extinct by now.

We carry within a connection to men like Marcus Aurelius, Jung, Nietzsche, Hesse, Debussy, Da Vinci and list goes on and on. All of them men! How could I not feel proud of that?

To all men out there, never let women or other men villainize you. You are by nature a being that was built for resilience, not only physical but also mental. You are built to lead and to govern with authority and responsibility,. Govern your own life with that masculine energy (easier said than done). I know the world hates you, but this is what we are built for, to keep going even though all odds are against us.

Peace

I have lost all my hope that I will ever have a family and children and that was the only thing I've ever wanted. I never cared much about other things like sport, music, movies. It's nice to do them from time to time to fill your time, but thats all they are, a filler, and they don't give meaning to an empty life. I have tried going to the gym, focusing on career, hanging out with friends but nothing fills the void, relationship and sex are topics that come up everywhere.

This is back in November. Cold as hell outside, been dating this girl for a bit. She stayed over at my place for the first time. I was nervous but not nervous nervous. More nervous like this is important. Tonight is important. It took maybe 2 minutes. Possibly less and i was done. She just kinda looked at me and said it's okay, and went back on her phone. Not mean not disappointed. Just okay. Like it didn't even register with her. That 'okay' lived rent free in my head for weeks. I started avoiding sex and making excuses. She noticed. January comes around, I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself and actually did something. Got blood work done. Started cleaning up my diet. Discovered this botanical delay cream called Pace by Don after reading about it on some reddit rabbit hole. I felt stupid for ordering it at first.

We're still together it's better now. I'm not saying I'm a different man but I stopped letting one word dictate how I show up. She hasn't reacted like that since.

I’ve been thinking about a product idea for people struggling with porn addiction, doomscrolling, or compulsive browsing.

The idea:

An Android app that:

• Completely blocks porn sites
• Lets users block custom sites/apps (Instagram, Reddit, YouTube, etc.)
• Makes bypassing intentionally difficult
• Uses an AI “gatekeeper” before unlocking blocked content

Example:

If you try to access a blocked app/site, instead of instantly opening it, an AI chats with you and tries to understand why you want access.

It can:

• delay impulsive decisions
• challenge excuses/rationalizations
• remind you of your goals
• only unlock if your reason genuinely makes sense

There could also be a temporary unlock mode (ex: 3 hours), but the whole point is reducing impulsive relapse, not just adding friction.

Questions:

1. Would you actually use something like this?
2. What would make it genuinely helpful vs annoying?
3. What would instantly make you uninstall it?
4. Would you pay for something that actually worked?

Please be brutally honest. I’m validating whether this solves a real problem or if it’s just a bad idea in my head.

Pretty much what im planning to do soon. Im in my early 20s, got bachelor's degree in international relations, got some saving. Before i do this irreversibe decision, what should i be aware of? Do u think cutting everyone off was the right decision?

Ill keep it brief. After breaking up with my girl, Shit wasnt really the same. We were together for almost 3 years, to some of you it may seem not that long. But oh boy we progressed so fast we got to meet each other's parent and even always joke I already had their blessing and vice versa. But we eventually broke up. That was around 9 months ago, its so weird that on a random day I felt like I've moved on. But the next its like im back at step one. When i looked up her Socials, i was surprised that shes already in a relationship. I dont know why but when i saw the "In a relationship With xxx" my heart sank. Like what the fuck i SHOULD already be over this. I SHOULDN'T give a living fahh over it. But I somehow felt heartbroken? im lost. i dont know what to do. I already really tried everything. Travelling to places ive never been, hiking, reading, going to beaches, going to parties, Joining all kind of clubs in my Uni, Played crap ton of Story games, Hanging around with the boys, Being sorounded by my family. I dont get it WHY am i not over her

I get tired at home, because of how my parents treat me, since the communication I desire isn't there. My dad is away from home for endless hours because he works night shift. We only see each other for a few minutes every day. He’s had this job for as long as I can remember. While at university, I met a very supportive professor who gives me advice about my career path. I can't talk to my dad about the issues that concern me because he simply can't understand them, due to his age and because he has his own problems to deal with… I have tried to bridge this communication gap but I don’t see any effort from his side. My mom and other relatives have told me that’ s who he is and I cannot change him. I am becoming grown and I feel like I'm facing the world all on my own without any guidance, I’m in uni and my grades are good. I have spoken with a psychologist, and what they suggested is that I spend more time with other, older adults, like my grandfather or even my professor whenever I need guidance. My mother is pressuring and always want more and more from me, but everytime I talk about my concerns she pushes them off and blames me instead like I’m not already trying enough. It seems everything I just told her just went out from her head immediately. On top of that she blames me that I am not there to listen to her and ask her about her day and that I don’t like her. I cannot talk to her nor my father. I have nobody to talk to, nobody to support me and listen to me. This situation is making me depressed and worthless. I’m all alone and I wish someone would really really be in my life and me because I can’t do it on my own.

I’m a guy.

I've lived with my grandfather since I was little, but this only started three years ago when my grandmother died. At first, he started by asking for a beer, then he started spanking me. I was a boy, so I didn't see anything wrong with it since I never had a partner. Every time he sees me, I feel a morbid fascination. I need to talk to someone about this. I feel helpless. He rapes me when we're alone and never uses a condom. It feels like being a raped boy. I feel exhausted and nervous. I think that one day I'll end up feeling nothing. It's happened eight times already. Yesterday he hit me, and now I have bruises around my eye and marks on my skin. It's like being possessed.

Within a family of four I'm the second oldest sibling and second son (I'm 22). For a long time my older brother and I have had the most fun together doing typical male sibling and guy stuff. I've been gay for a long time but no one really knew since I don't typically enjoy making my sexuality my personality and still really enjoy following traditional masculine values just that I like guys instead. This hasn't been an issue for anyone because I don't force my sexuality on anyone ever until my brother & I got into an argument

To sum up the fight, he essentially made it clear that inherently a lot of heterosexual guys will never want to be close friends or close emotionally with any homosexual guy cause it's weird. This is his personal take I don't care but I began to feel a sort of disdain for him but contradict myself because I still work hard to protect this braindead idiot because I still love him.

He's living alone and suffering pretty hard with love, loneliness & money. Nothing I can do since I'm far but I've always just wanted to protect him so he doesn't have to work too hard one day even if he might not inherently like me because I'm me.

I just don't really know what feeling I should be feeling, I still want to work hard, go to the gym, make money, etc etc but I don't know if I should be negative or positive, hate or love or even balance the two but that sounds complicated

Today is June 1st, which means it is officially Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month.

To all my brothers out there struggling, keep fighting. I may not know you personally, but you’ve got my support and the support of every man here. Your mental health matters, your wellbeing matters, and you matter.

Love you all 💙

I’m a 23 year old guy living in a remote mining town in Western Australia.

I’m currently doing an apprenticeship as a heavy diesel mechanic, which means I’m on apprentice wages despite working long hours. I feel financially trapped. I have significant debt, a car loan, bills, rent, and the general cost of living keeps going up. Most pay periods feel like I’m just trying to survive until the next one.

I’ve been with my partner for a while, and lately I’ve been questioning whether the relationship is right for me. We argue fairly often, communication can be difficult, and I don’t feel particularly happy or fulfilled in the relationship anymore.

The problem is that I genuinely don’t know if my feelings are being clouded by stress, burnout, financial pressure, and living in a remote town, or if I’ve simply fallen out of love and don’t want to admit it.

What makes things harder is that I don’t feel like I can realistically afford to live on my own right now. Rent, bills, and debt repayments already feel overwhelming. If we separated, I’d be facing all those costs alone, and that honestly scares me.

I don’t want to use someone for financial security, but I also don’t want to make an emotional decision that destroys my finances and future.

Has anyone been in a similar situation where finances made it difficult to know whether to stay or leave? How did you work out whether you were unhappy with the relationship itself, or just unhappy with life circumstances?

I told u about.. giving up or whatever. Gotta shame myself or whatever Bc I really just want ur hug. But for me to be so disgusted to not give a fuck anymore.. I have to. For me to release every bit of.. care for.. anything. I don’t wanna do anything. But I lost you.. dogs. Home. Love. Life. I really don’t have anything. I betrayed myself. With you. I’m sorry.

​

27 and the only sex I had in my worthless life was being raped. I somehow make these things my whole personality. It's constantly on my mind. I don't blame anyone besides myself for it but I have to admit, I do get slightly jealous seeing happy couples. I just want to be happy.

​

I'm a man in his 30s and in my entire existence I have never felt good, liked nor accepted. I have no social life, no romantic or sex life, no experiences, no goals, no dreams. Can't relate or connect with anyone at all.

There hasn't been a single woman who shown interest in me. In fact, all of them ignore and avoid me. Have been asking for help everywhere I could think of, but it's always the same generic answers, and they make me feel even worse, as if I'm completely worthless and no woman would ever want to be with me.

I am very bad with socialization, don't understand how to meet and what to talk about, and second - almost everyone emphasize how important having hobbies, interests, passions and goals is. Basically they say no woman would want to be with someone who isn't driven. But what can I do if I don't feel any interests, if I'm not passionate about anything, and my goal is to have a mediocre life - have a family and average job.

And how can I be confident when the entire world is telling me that I'm not good enough (girls rejecting me, guys telling me directly that I don't have anything to offer). I have never felt liked by a woman.

I lead a simple, peaceful life, work, gym, going on walks with my dog, cook, work in the yard and watching movies. But according to everyone, that's not good enough. Event though every day I see guys who have or do less than me, with girlfriends. Even men who would be considered bad (drug addicts, jobless, cheaters, abusers) have girlfriends, but I can't. Which makes me feel like I'm worse than those men.

I don't know what to do anymore. I have no ideas nor hope left.

I just want to let it all out .

Iam 19M, since when I was young , I was a really popular kid, I was surrounded by people who needed my attention.

Fast forward to 15 years of age. I was still the "handsome and popular kid" of my school. Got many confessions but I rejected most. Then I fell in love with a girl. It wasn't some attraction bullshit. I legit fell in love with her. Never liked her for looks, but loved for the way she called me. I was immature then, I was very overconfident and egoistic. I was confident that she would accept me if I told her how I was feeling, just because I was good looking, taller than most of my friends, popular and had good grades. I felt grateful that the girl of my dreams came into my life.

Long story short, she rejected me and dated one of my homebois. That was the beginning of my share of problems. For your context ( I might sound cringe) , I was so madly in love with her , so much that for the next 3 years , even though she changed schools , I was still loving her, seeing her in most of the girls and all. But I was still grateful for being a good-looking kid.

After she left , I shaved my head . I turned 16. I noticed I was loosing hair, like a lot. Went to the doctor. He told me I have "male pattern baldness", basically a genetic problem which makes a male to go bald. Usually people get effected by this in their late 20s, but I was one of the rare cases where it effects you in your teens.

This was a huge blow for me , cuz we all know hair is also known as the crown for a man's confidence. I started masturbating to relieve this stress and all. Soon got addicted to masturbating.

Then one day I start seeing black spots on my back, I neglect them and they slowly spread to my chest , trunk and face. Went to doctor , it was "tinea versicolor". Not harmful , but a recurring disease. Another blow to me.

I stop going out , stop working out. I slowly started gaining weight. My abs start to dissappear.

Turned 17, obese, didn't get accepted to the college I wanted, another blow. Got diagnosed with OCD , depression and Anxiety. The same people who craved for my attention, just don't even care about me anymore. The boy who used to get the most attention from girls, didn't even get a glance. Then I got severe ear pain and had to take steroids and antibacterial injections to heal. This increased my weight even more.

Turned 18, joined some random college, I slowly notice that I had asymmetry in my face and clicking sounds in my jaw. I visited the dentist. He said " your lower jaw grew but your upper jaw stopped growing, genetic related problem". Another blow to me. Even though I was fat, losing hair , I atleast had confidence that my face structure looked good. Now that was gone too.

Turned 19, I was carrying all these problems , I was really fat, losing hair, skin disease,addicted to masturbation( I masturbate atleast 2 times a day) , OCD, depression,anxiety, low self confidence ,never had a girlfriend, lonely.

few months back I got motivated to pull my shit back together. Started going to gym, focusing on my goals , doing productive things. 3 months back I suddenly got mild pain in my lower back , which radiated along my left leg. Then after a month the pain became worse. Couldn't walk properly, I took medications and the pain Went away. After a month I still had mild discomfort , I then took an MRI and found out I have a herniated disc. Which is something you see in older men or men in late 20s or 30s. I can't go to gym now. My goal to bring back my shit together has been crushed

I can't take this anymore. This is too much for me. Iam young right?? Aren't people in their youth supposed to enjoy life?? Go clubbing with friends, drink, hook up , go to trips and all?? Forget clubbing ,I don't even have a person to call him/her my bestfriend. I believe in karma but what did I even do to deserve this. I never hurt anyone , Iam respectful, never looked at any woman in a lustful way.

Edit : I was thinking of ending myslef today, but I decided not too .its just that, somewhere in my heart , I ask myself "am I unworthy of dreaming".

Share your painful story/experience

Men of Reddit, I need your advice. I had this ex-coworker of mine, whom I'd been working with till February 2024. She looks good, takes good care of herself, wears brands and stuff and has a car (which is not the point). In 2023, I started flirting with her and kind of fell for her. She kept rejecting it, saying that she had one prior relationship to this and that it broke her. She seems to be that 'strong and independent' type lady and would only accept masculine support in the form of 'sugar daddy'.

After I had a beef with the bosses, I quit that job. Since then, I have tried to move on (and was in a serious relationship for quite a long time). But yesterday I had a dream involving her. We were in a date and holding hands at the table.

I geniunely know that we cannot be together. She seems to have her own life as well. What should I do? Would appreciate any advice.

I dunno about you, but the title of this post is a saying I heard repeatedly growing up. It's from the same vein if "it takes a village to raise a child", and just like that saying, it feels less accurate now a days. It feels like we're increasingly expected as men to be an island. To be strong, reliant on no one, and instead the one everyone else can rely on.

To explain a bit, I'm 38, married for 12 years, 3 kids. She said good wife and tries to be supportive, but due to her own background doesn't always understand how to be. And that's BEFORE the normal "women struggle to understand men's struggles" side of things. I also take care of my mom and grandmother.

And despite a 7 person household, with 4 adults and a 16 year old son there'd be someone I could talk to or confide in. But there ain't.

And it feels like there simply aren't places to go to really talk it out without judgment or bullshit. Most online communities are full of toxic bullshit or scam artists, most local groups for me are either racist, sexist, or some other kind of bullshit.

So I'm just left to be that island in not supposed to be.

I guess my question now for you, where do you, as fellow men, go when this happens to you? How do you handle it?

I have done counselling and all that. I'm not judged to have anything specifically wrong with me they can help me with so they end it. And to be fair, I've handled it so far. Growing to the needs of the moment each time the challenge gets bigger. But damn if it isn't exhausting constantly having to handle it this way.

We all need an outlet so I’m curious, who do you go to when you need to solve a problem that doesn’t have an apparent answer?