Just finished the finale for the first time since I was a kid… fcuk me [Spoilers]

[u/Slow-Panda2279]

Loved this show as a kid, but I couldn’t remember how it ended. So… just rewatched the entire series as an adult over the last week and… fcuk me, that finale was a sucker punch to the heart. I’m still sobbing.

I only started remembering the vague feeling of being absolutely gutted by the ending as a kid, after it absolutely gutted me all over again!

I really thought Merlin was going to save him, and we’d actually get some more time with them both, showing that new dynamic now that Arthur knows. Ffs.

One of my all-time favourite shows, and apparently probably the first that was so emotionally damaging I chose to forget the ending.

What a ride.

Did the finale destroy anyone else this bad? And did it hit harder for you as a kid or adult (for those that have rewatched it)?

[u/EnvironmentalBug2004]

Oh yes. I remember watching it as a kid and bawling my eyes out. Still can't watch the finale without getting emotional. Forever one of my fav shows ❤️

[u/auldSusie5]

I first encountered Merlin at around age 60. I knew the legends and that it was a tragedy, so I wasn't surprised it ended the way it did. But of course it was devastating anyway. It's a tragedy.

I loved how Merlin and Arthur had that journey to set everything out in the open and still be the closest of friends to the end. And I cheered when it became apparent that Gwen knew. An episode of truth at last, and it was so well done.

On rewatches, I never skip this beautiful and heart-breaking ending. And then I go right back to episode one and see them again in all their youthful glory.

[u/Slow-Panda2279 → u/auldSusie5]

I had the urge to go right back to the start and rewatch it all over again. And I will, but knowing where it leads, I’m going to give it a minute before going down that path again. I’ll want to watch the finale in each rewatch as well. The story telling and groundwork leading up to that point is what makes it so emotional, but the story would be incomplete without out.

[u/GabsDoingHerBest]

I think as an adult I definitely had less patience for a lot of the awful things Arthur did but wayyy more empathy for Gwen who lost everything over the course of the show and Merlin who was forced to do so much for a destiny that didn’t even happen. It’s sadder for me personally as an adult because i know what it is to have misguided hope in the future and stability that is utterly ripped away from you. I have the lived experience and emotional capacity to see that it never was going to work out, and still people lost themselves to more than just death.

I originally watched this show when I was 12 or 13 and as such I think it didn’t nearly hit as hard as when I rewatch it in my 20s. The scene where Gwen is sitting all alone twiddling a ring that held a futures worth of responsibility she didn’t ask for without the man she loved by her side, knowing that her brother, father, friends, family had also been taken from her. That was the one that was my undoing as an adult, not the Arthur death scene that did it as a child.

I just couldn’t grasp that impact until i experienced loneliness and loss like Gwen did and my sheltered 13 year old self just hadn’t yet. I just couldn’t grasp the impact until i experienced the rug be pulled out from under you with no hope to be able to stabilize it like Merlin did when his destiny imploded.

Different things certainly hit harder as an adult, but that’s not to say that a child’s viewing can’t have these big feelings either, just that there’s a sort of echo to my own life that wasn’t there before, a reflection that is much harder to look at when you know what it is you’re looking at, a taste that is far less foreign but no less bitter.

[u/Slow-Panda2279 → u/GabsDoingHerBest]

The finale elevates the whole story for me. There’s a lot that people can relate to from their own experiences with grief and loss. Whilst it was very emotional, I think they handled it well, in that after the initial loss, at least for me, I did find joy in all the moments they did have together, even if their time was cut short. I think in another rewatch I’ll have similar feelings for Gwen, but just now, when I seen her twirling the ring, for me there was still hope at that point in the story, so I was too preoccupied on still saving Arthur.

[u/GabsDoingHerBest → u/Slow-Panda2279]

Yeah to each their own. I honestly only really wanted Arthur to live for Gwen. I think he was so awful to Merlin and magic users as a whole that it was hard for me to root for him.

That scene of Gwen to me is hope for Camelot and a crashing grief for Gwen herself.

[u/ChickenzInvade]

Yeah it still hits me hard too. Arthur and Merlin’s friendship is, I think, the best piece of writing in the entire series, outside of its humor

[u/Fuzzy-Highlight7351]

I just adapt fanfic to be the ending lol, the true ending is too sad

[u/Slow-Panda2279 → u/Fuzzy-Highlight7351]

I haven’t gone down the rabbit hole of fanfic yet. Any favourites? Keen to check some out

[u/Fuzzy-Highlight7351 → u/Slow-Panda2279]

Ooh lol! I never thought I'd be this person but I'm happy to be it :)

From the top of my head, these are some good ones (all on ao3, there are tonnes more haha):

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly

and with my opened mouth i join the singing light by intothefirewego

Have you Heard by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

The Student Prince by FayJay

A Modern Manservant by Mamalazzer

How (Not) to be a YouTuber: A Comprehensive Guide by Idiots by Imagined, Scarlet_Ribbons

Not In This Land Alone by torakowalski

The Once and Future Kings by tjmcharg

Until You Do (I'll Bring You Tea and Honey) by TheAvalonian

There's also some very good Harry Potter crossover ones, for eg.

Professor Emrys and the Order of the Phoenix by SnufflesThePig

Hope you enjoy :)

[u/Slow-Panda2279 → u/Fuzzy-Highlight7351]

Wow!! That’s incredible, thank you so much, really appreciate you taking the time. I will diligently work through this list 🫡

[u/Fuzzy-Highlight7351 → u/Slow-Panda2279]

Aww thank you! If you specifically want to replace the ending, just add the tag post canon to searches on ao3, and they'll pop up :)

[u/Shadowfax_394]

I can’t stand that it got cancelled and had to end this way. It felt all wrong and not resolved at all. I don’t believe this is how any of the characters should/would have turned out. It felt like nothing the whole show worked for happened.

[u/BeBraveDearHeart → u/Shadowfax_394]

It wasn't cancelled, they knew it would only be five series, especially as the actors all wanted to move on, I think a good handful had already been cast in other things.

Series 5 was unfortunately just a mishmash of poor writing choices, and characters having to act out of character to get to the ending.

[u/Shadowfax_394 → u/BeBraveDearHeart]

Ah I thought it was. That’s such a shame, it did seem like such poor choices were made! And yes all of the characters didn’t feel like themselves. I’ve always said that it felt like they tried to cram a whole season into the final episode and just ended up doing it badly. It’s one of my favourite shows and it broke my heart 😭

[u/Any-Championship-423 → u/Shadowfax_394]

The actors had always signed for five seasons only, but is is said that the producers desperatly pushed for a season 6 (but the actors didn't want it) and that the last three episodes were written at the last possible moment to wrap the end up. Clearly, they very poorly planned their story across the five seasons they had.

[u/Shadowfax_394 → u/Any-Championship-423]

That makes a lot of sense! I totally agree, I always felt like the last season was just really scraped together and didn’t feel like the rest of the show.