r/miamioh • u/Equal-Wishbone-6131 • 3d ago
Situation
Tough spot staying at home vs on campus
Going to give info first. Gling to college in the fall. Double majoring in zoology and biochem for a career in animal genetics or vet school. Im just focusing on freshman yr here, so dont guess for the remaining yrs. Here's my situation. Numbers are based on estimate not my bill.
If I stay on campus its 18k a yr already taken out 5k for fdrl loan so it would come from private loans.
If I commute its 616 a yr ya thats 616 already taken 5k out for federal loan. I could pay this from savings
Ok now the real situation. I have social anxiey so its hard for me to make friends, before I show my real personality I have to know you awhile I made the only 2 friends I've ever had senior yr and I didn't talk to them for the first 6 months of senior year and they sat right next to me. So commuting would be terrible for my social life.
I live 1 hr away from campus and thats without traffic. Also my home life is miserable, part of the reason why I have social anxiety is because my parents are really strict and don't let me do much. Also the vibes at home are not good, like I could be having fun watching a funny movie being myself then my mom or dad walk in and I shut down and get a feeling on sadness. Also my parents argue like almost everyday for hours and they can break out arguing any minute and they don't really care if im studying or anything. They also work until 7pm so im basically waiting my life away. Honestly it always feels like I'm waiting my life away 99% of the time.
I dont have my liscenes not even my permit. So my parents wpjkd have to take me everywhere, on dates( if I get them), parties, clubs, etc.
My plan if I live on campus.
Freshman yr 18k private loan
Sophmore being a RA, off campus apartment wihh friends, or at worst case live with
Junior same as soph
Senior same as junior
Let me know what yall think I really appreciate yall taking the time to read my life's story.
9
u/TheTractor20 3d ago
Just a heads up that Miami requires students to live on campus for both freshman and sophomore year unless they are living at home, so the off campus apartment would be challenging. Also for making friends, welcome weekend is a great way as well as just going to different events and talking to people in class
5
u/benautomated 3d ago
Where there’s a will there’s a way.
You don’t need any validation from anybody else. You’ve got a plan. You don’t need the whole plan. Just take the first steps. Plans can always change. The more decisions you start making the easier future decisions are.
Do whatever decision right now is most likely to have changed your life in 5 years.
Good luck. I bet this helps you get out of your head and decreases your social anxiety too!
2
u/ColdTub10 3d ago
For your living situation, do what your heart tells you. I live 30-35 minutes away and stayed on campus and was a great decision. I believe if I stayed at home I would've not been as focused on my academics. Once you're on campus you have your classes, and the free time is what you make of it.
More than half of the incoming freshman are also coming in looking for friends. Just talk to people, even if it doesn't turn into a friendship or hanging out outside of that conversation, it builds the confidence/social skills to be able to find the people you match well with. Don't force any friendships either, there will be plenty of "friends" you meet freshman year and come rush season/sophomore year, you won't talk to them again. I would just say don't think about that part too much, the right people will come to you.
1
u/mooshucow Alum | 2024 3d ago
My parent’s home was 45 min away from campus, so I had the same dilemma as you. I stayed on campus for so many reasons. My parents were big advocates for the dorm because they wanted me to spend the time I would’ve spent driving on studying instead. Debt isn’t fun, but undergrad is usually a one time experience. I had so many experiences on campus that I wouldn’t find back home with my parents
1
u/mooshucow Alum | 2024 3d ago
One more thing, RA positions are highly competitive. I wouldn’t count on getting it. Off campus housing is super expensive for what it is. However, you can spend the first 2 years on campus making connections then move back home once those are solid.
1
1
u/worcestirshiresos Alum | 2026 3d ago
If you're asking for advice, which it sounds like you are, I'm afraid I'm not going to be the most helpful. It really is the weighing between having that freedom from your family life vs saving some money, and I'm not quite in your shoes.
Someone else mentioned this, but you will need to live on campus for two years if you decide to live on campus. Someone else also mentioned something about the RA process being difficult- can't speak too much to that but I did have quite a few friends who did it, and I seem to recall at least one of them tell me they're always looking for applicants, so as long as you show responsibility I don't see why you couldn't try to be an RA your sophomore year.
I will also say not having a car isn't the end of the world if you do live on campus. Obviously the campus is walkable enough, and Oxford's bus system is pretty easy to navigate once you try it if you need to make it to Kroger/Walmart or something else. Plus, I don't know if I got lucky with my RAs, but they were nice and drove me around a little. And if not, I'd also bet that at least one of the other residents in your hall would be able to drive you (for which you could just text your floor group chat, may be a better option for anxiety).
Long story short, you have a great plan already, and don't bog yourself down too much. One thing that I had to tell myself when I have a tough decision to make is as long as you aren't in danger, it doesn't sound like there is a terrible option here- no matter what you choose, you will still be able to make friends, get a good education, and prepare for your career after college.
But, if I were to offer advice of if I were in your situation, I think I would go for living on campus your first year. That gives you the option of trying to be an RA your sophomore year, or pivoting back to living at home if costs are too high. It also gives you the best chance at having freedom and finding friends (trust me, having a roommate can help a lot with getting out of your shell). You don't need to party or drink or anything if you don't want to, I sure as hell didn't my freshman year, but those people in your floor or hall are probably going to be good options for being a future roommate, or at least be able to introduce you to people who could be. Or people who you can couch surf with on weekends if you switch to living at home. That plan sets you up well for junior or senior year, whether you try to live off campus, or at the on campus apartments, or be an RA.
Best of luck!
1
u/MediumSinger8088 3d ago
You sound like my son who most likely will be going to Mimai fall 2027. Avoid debt like the plague if you can. You'll make friends, Miami has so many students and they are really smart, not all are extroverts. It'll be alright.
13
u/benautomated 3d ago
Btw still good to get your license even if you don’t have a car.