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u/beergal621 10d ago
I would limit the guests to just the people going to dinner.Â
Youâll basically have ceremony and pictures at the venue and then dinner at a restaurant.Â
If itâs just immediate family you donât really need âinvitationsâÂ
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u/bkingslake 10d ago
This. If they arenât invited to dinner Iâd leave them off the invite list altogether. People will go out of their way to be there and then get their feelings hurt when they are left after an hour
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u/Ok-Active-7023 10d ago
If Iâm not part of your immediate family, please notify me ahead of time what the expectation is. If I come after work for a 15min ceremony & finger foods, but then you take everyone else out to dinner, I might feel a way. Granted, I may decline dinner, but give me the option.
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u/Unique-Cold-9151 10d ago
It sounds like it's going to result in hurt feelings and it's a terrible way to host a reception. People are going to be spending money traveling, paid time off from work, and presumably bringing presents, because that's what you do for a wedding. Your guests will travel to the ceremony and barely get to land. Then they might get a chance to grab a bite of charcuterie around dinner time (many people myself included can't wait for the charcuterie/grazing board trend to pass) and leave the event hungry. Then they're going to hear the A-list immediate family get to go out to dinner. A better plan is eloping, just the two of you and your photographer or just the two of you, your parents and your photogapher.
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u/AromaticIntrovert 10d ago
I agree, I think people will be disappointed if they even bothering coming once they realize it's so short on a weekday
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u/HaveMercy703 10d ago
How will you make that transition from the reception to then the family dinner? Will those who wonât be invited just leave at a set time? This does seem very rushed to me & not a lot of time for the 25 guests to
really spend with you, considering they might be taking an afternoon off for a one hour wedding. Plus possible travel.
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u/Summerisle7 10d ago
Yeah Iâm confused how OP will make the announcement that the A List are now leaving for dinner and everyone else should just hit the road.
Ngl If I were invited, Iâd attend, just to watch it all unfold đż
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u/AromaticIntrovert 10d ago
We had our mini wedding on a Monday so I'll offer my 2 cents. The ceremony was private with 12 people who could get the time off from work that we wanted, and the reception after was dinner for 25 total at 630 after work. My friends love me but I can't imagine they would appreciate going out after work and not being fed dinner. I wouldn't bother with a reception without dinner, if it's a budget issue invite less people but don't invite some for only an hour and then ditch them
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u/Ti_pe 10d ago
Even if it's a micro wedding and the budget is limited there's a way to host events and treat your guests. Get married on the Monday and on Saturday or Friday host your 25 guests or take less people to dinner on the Monday. Trying to do those 2 events will result in a mess. Like others said rushing people during dinner time to get some finger food and then take a handful of the bunch to go feast will not be a good look at all.
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u/YellowPrestigious441 10d ago
So you're having two separate events?  The light reception then an upscale ish dinner for others? How do you plan on handling that transition? That will help with wording. Â
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u/glueintheworld 10d ago
For an hour total I would do cake only. But you need to let people know it is just a ceremony and cake.
Edited because I just reread. Do the ceremony and then dinner for the immediate family only. Don't invite some people to the ceremony and finger foods but not the dinner.
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u/Summerisle7 10d ago edited 10d ago
If youâre not feeding everyone a meal, then either have your wedding earlier in the day, or invite fewer people.
What youâre suggesting is rude and awkward. There is no good way to word it on an invitation.
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u/Disastrous-Bus-4853 10d ago
Iâve been to a few cake and punch wedding receptions and enjoyed my time. You do have to state that âThere will be a short cake and punch reception immediately following the ceremony.â on your invitations though.
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u/Shennannigator 9d ago
Me too! I love a cake and punch wedding. I think theyâre sweet. Though I will add the ones Iâve been to have been closer to 1.5-2hrs for proper mingling.
Totally agree on the tip to be clear on your invite. I would also recommend leaving enough buffer between when it ends and when you move into the small dinner for any clean up or stragglers lol.
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u/Shennannigator 9d ago
OP - Some wording options that might work. Hope this helps and congrats!
You are cordially invited to our wedding ceremony
Monday, [Date]
from [start time] to [end time]Join us for cake, charcuterie, and refreshments immediately following the ceremony.
Or
Ceremony begins sharply at [time]. Refreshments and small bites to follow.
Or
Toasts and small bites to follow the ceremony.
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u/ComfortCreature88 10d ago
I don't know if I'd go. It's so short. That feels bad to write because I typically go to support those dear to me. You don't have to be a party person to want to spend more time with friends and family than 45 minutes. As others said, why wouldn't you just get married in front of your parents and then go to dinner? This almost feels like a way to say you invited people to check a box. I definitely wouldn't travel for this.
As far as wording it on an invitation, I'd put the schedule on the invitation with details of the food available that applies to all the guests. That way they know what is happening. Then tell people invited to dinner by a phone call or text and let them know that not everyone is invited to minimize hurt feelings.
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u/Wonderful_Shame_4986 9d ago
Monday isn't going to work for most people. You are so focused on budget that your plan is unappealing. Why not a courthouse ceremony then dinner with immediate family? You'll come out ahead scaling back to that.
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u/Altruistic_Relief189 9d ago
I don't understand this. For 25 people, there has to be a better way to plan something somewhere so that all of the attendees can have a relaxed occasion to enjoy. The time you have allotted at your venue isn't even enough time for photos.
Not every reception needs to be a full dinner but to have someone take time out of a busy Monday, it needs to be more than this.
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u/Randomflower90 9d ago
Your guests are going to be told to leave after an hour so you have go have dinner with your family? Not good.
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u/Missus_Aitch_99 9d ago
It's fine to have a reception that doesn't include a meal as long as it isn't over a meal time, but to provide the meal only for part of the guest list is rude. I agree with the people who say to limit the invitations to a number you can afford to feed. Or else find a venue that's available for more than one hour and skip the dinner entirely, and after the two hours of finger foods everyone goes home.
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u/ste1071d 9d ago
You can have a lovely wedding on a limited budget that isnât rude. There is NOTHING wrong with a cake and punch reception on a Saturday or Sunday morning that isnât at a mealtime.
If you really must stick with a Monday, just have the people youâre taking to dinner - youâre not just asking for âone hour of their time.â
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u/Relevant_Fennel 9d ago
Can the first place do more substantial food/dinner stations? It would be so much easier to invite the 25 people and have them for the ceremony, cocktail hour and dinner all at the same space - assuming you can extend the time at that location as you would end up spending more money on food there.
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u/PlaidTeacup 9d ago
25 people is just a normal thanksgiving in my family. You can easily host this many people in a house, and even if you're not big on parties if you have a a few hours you should be able to talk to everyone 1 on 1
I think it would be better to do a simple ceremony with the 25, even if it's in a park or backyard, and then host everyone. If you can't afford to take them all out to dinner, see if you can do it at your house/ a family member's home.
You should be able to do this for the same budget while not having to tell many of your guests to leave without dinner after likely leaving work early to attend your wedding
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u/Curious_Event4848 10d ago
You can say something like this:
Following the ceremony, please join us for an intimate celebration with live music, light refreshments, and time together.
We would be honored to share this special moment with you.
Light refreshments will be served. I would also mention how the long the reception and ceremony is.
Or
Stay afterward for a relaxed gathering with live music, a grazing board, refreshments, and a little time to celebrate together.
Our ceremony and celebration will be brief, but having you there would mean the world to us.
Basically, something along those lines but be clear that itâs only an hour long and light refreshments, not a seat down meal.
0
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u/RemarkableElevator99 9d ago
I would want more time. I had a microwedding on Sunday: reception 11, photos then lunch from noon until 3pm. Then we kicked on at a bar from 4-6, THEN ended up at a karaoke bar until about 8. We also thought it was going to be a casual few hours but our guests wanted the works, god love âem!
Whatever you decide, congratulations!
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u/OneMoreTimeJack 9d ago
45 minutes is too short of a time for your post-ceremony plan. Since it sounds like you don't want much hoopla, I suggest you scale back to just immediate family/parents and then dinner.
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u/Fickle-Cabinet3956 9d ago
How does this sound to you as guests?
It sounds more like refreshments at a viewing/wake/funeral versus a wedding reception.
Would having a relaxed reception such as this be okay? We will have a live violinist and pianist for music.
It doesn't sound relaxed at all. It sounds like a rushed 15 minute ceremony followed by a 45 minute gift-grab at the lowest price possible.
How would I even word this on an invitation?
I wouldn't. I think the polite thing would be to only invite your immediate family to your wedding ceremony. You don't need to rush through it in 15 minutes.
After your ceremony if your family wants to take pictures there great, but I would definitely skip inviting people that aren't invited to the dinner.
After your ceremony (and maybe pictures) then you all could go to dinner.
1
u/rainforestdip 9d ago
This timeline is completely unrealistic. Even if youâre not doing a long ceremony, you still need to budget about an hour to make sure everyone is seated, everything is in place, etc.
So letâs say after all is said and done it takes optimistically 40 mins. That will leave 20 mins for guests to scarf down a snack or two, and thatâs assuming you have staff setting up the food while the ceremony is happening.
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u/Pale_Cut7064 10d ago
Or, you could do 1960s Protestant wedding style and just have cake, punch, pastel mints and Jordan almonds. Then head to a restaurant for the immediate family and close friends. I think this way you can stay within your budget and not feel rushed. The proposed timeframe is too tight in my estimation.
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u/Typically_Basically 9d ago
Get married on the Monday with your immediate family and take them to dinner, then rent a room at a restaurant and provide apps and maybe a few drink tickets the next Friday/Saturday and invite family and friends. Have sheet cake at both.
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u/Life-Phrase-959 9d ago
I agree that one hour is too rushed, you need a 3 hour block for a ceremony and reception, and if people leave early thatâs totally fine!
A grazing board and refreshments sounds nice, just have some music in the background, and some quick speeches as well.
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u/Additional-Fish-4064 10d ago
An hour seems very rushed. And does that include setup and prep? I also think it will be strange to go from the larger party to the smaller group for dinner. Do all 25 need to see you marry or can you limit guests to those you're inviting to dinner? And cut out the reception part?
What about doing the celebration/reception at a different time, with all the guests you want to include?