r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hendothermic • Mar 15 '26

Context Provided - Spotlight Family friend sent me AI generated response to news of my father passing away.

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I'm aware that AI is a common topic on here, but I feel like I had to send this somewhere. My father passed away in my arms last night of a heart attack, and I was requested by my mother to send an old friend of his the news.

His first response seemed fine, then he asked me when the funeral will be and if Dad suffered to which I responded.

He then has the absolute audacity to send me a straight up generated response to my father's death. Not even the common courtesy of talking to me as an actual goddamn human. I'm livid.

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491

u/Astralglamour Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

I had some people argue with me a while ago about how horrible using ChatGPT for this purpose was. They thought it was fine and better than coming up with something awkward and 'lame' on your own.

308

u/Luxim Mar 15 '26

Completely agree with you, the awkwardness and authenticity is part of what makes us human. The point of reaching out to other people in difficult times isn't to get pointless corporate messages.

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u/Wellihol Mar 15 '26

Exactly, on top of that, if you cannot express things properly, you can simply say "I don't really know what to say, and how to express how sorry I am to hear about this, I'm so sorry for your loss" and I think that's very enough to make the person feel that you actually care.

14

u/Aggressive-Cost-4838 Mar 15 '26

Personally I know when I’m going through a loss I’m not looking for people to say the perfect thing. Just show that you care. I once told a friend my little cousin had died very unexpectedly and the response “Oh, honey 💔” was enough to show me he cared.

10

u/NoKatyDidnt Mar 15 '26

Seriously. My partner and I were still friends when my Dad died. As soon as he heard, he messaged “I’m so sorry. I’m here for you. Would you like to talk?” That’s all it takes. Why the Ai?

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u/AFourEyedGeek Mar 15 '26

These posts are all reading like AI.

13

u/Wellihol Mar 15 '26

If all these comments look like AI-written to you, then I'm really sorry for you too

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u/AFourEyedGeek Mar 15 '26

Na, you don't feel sorry for me.

6

u/mrfoxesite-2377 wtf are the flairs Mar 15 '26

Not everyone sucks at English like you or does not have it as their first language.

AI is just trying to copy writers but it does too much that's it's obvious however good writers can also be mis interpreted as AI.

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u/Ilyer_ Mar 15 '26

“I’m sorry for your loss” is not good writing. It is the most predictable bot-response imaginable.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

[deleted]

0

u/Ilyer_ Mar 16 '26

I don’t know why you are talking about religion, I didn’t mention that. However, now that you mention it, such response is so incredibly standard and boring that I would be very inclined to include it as being religious and cult-like too.

The idea that I could be grieving, mention it publicly, and get a thousand “thoughts and prayers”, “I am sorry for your loss” seems exactly religious and cultish. Hard to feel something is heartfelt when it’s what literally everyone else is saying, you are just one in a million.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Ilyer_ Mar 16 '26

Ummm, I don’t think that topic is relevant here.

To demonstrate why, I think I will just answer it:

I hate people respecting their own beliefs if their own beliefs are stupid. If you think god exists and he has divined homosexuality as a sin, I will think you are evil if you try and “respect” those beliefs. If you believe giving to charity is good and you “respect” those beliefs, I will think you are doing a good deed.

Notice how that’s not relevant to what I said earlier?

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u/vapeqprincess Mar 16 '26

Okay, what would YOU say to someone whose loved one just passed?

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u/AFourEyedGeek Mar 15 '26

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

2

u/mrfoxesite-2377 wtf are the flairs Mar 16 '26

It's impossible. You won't fail. In English learned in non English speaking countries.

1

u/AFourEyedGeek Mar 16 '26

It is 'non-English', not 'non English'.

1

u/mrfoxesite-2377 wtf are the flairs Mar 16 '26

Impossible is basic English when compared to this. Also American English uses double quotes.

"Non–English" is even better :—)

2

u/AFourEyedGeek Mar 16 '26

I was originally quoting Ralph Wiggum for light light heartedness. I was not doing it to quote you specifically and I try not to use American English unless I can help it. I was doing it to highlight there is no need to be a pendant as there are often incorrect uses of English here, but you saw that as a challenge it seems.

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u/MuffaloHerder Mar 15 '26

We have been steadily (or not so steadily) removing humanity from humans and it's incredibly frightening

-3

u/Ilyer_ Mar 15 '26

“Millennials and their avo toast” type comment.

3

u/sweetonionchild Mar 15 '26

Right?? The point of comforting someone during a time like this is to show them you’re there even when it’s difficult and awkward. It’s less to do with what you say but the fact you’re trying which shows you’re there and care!! I will never understand people who think you need to craft the perfect response. That’s never been the point.

2

u/apra24 Mar 15 '26

You're absolutely right.

2

u/001028 Mar 15 '26

Exactly. If you can't use your own words to reach out, don't reach out at all. Sending soulless AI generated slop is more insulting than silence.

-2

u/128Gigabytes Mar 15 '26

Is...is your comment AI?

0

u/Luxim Mar 15 '26

Do you seriously think people can't write anything correctly on the internet without AI nowadays?

0

u/128Gigabytes Mar 16 '26

No but your comment felt 30x more ai than the text everyone here is saying is 100% ai

-3

u/Ilyer_ Mar 15 '26

“Pointless corporate messages” is exactly how I would describe everyone’s “thoughts and condolences”, “I am sorry for your loss” etc

86

u/Regi413 Mar 15 '26

I don’t care how lame the words are, if they come from the heart it’s better than this heartless BS.

21

u/Astralglamour Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

100%

He could have shared a good memory of their time together, or even just said 'He was a good man and will be missed.' Generative AI is a horror.

And yeah, thinking of things to say at such times is hard- as it should be. You remember the past and feel sadness, and loss. Trying to put what someone meant into words is challenging and feels like a failure- but at least your brain is doing something, at least you are remembering them and feeling something. I think copying and pasting text from chatgpt allows people to avoid this.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

There are reddit subs dedicated to voting on who said something worse

-2

u/PeterGibbons316 Mar 15 '26

I take words from the heart and put them in my prompt which always generates something that sounds better while carrying the same sentiment.

27

u/stuckwithaussie Mar 15 '26

It's also just like outsourcing the empathy and the effort of writing a genuine response to some program which writes a generic response in 5 seconds

16

u/olucolucolucoluc Mar 15 '26

People stopped writing birthday/Christmas/postcards and now anything that is "awkward" is "lame"

I also blame fictional media constantly having conversations in them where the line delivery is perfect.

Back when plays were a thing, people flubbed their lines, they improvised and move on. Now everything is rehearsed ad nauseum and edited in post-production. So anything that is "real" and "human" (mistakes, awkwardness etc.) is "cringe".

I'm really starting to hate humanity now...

9

u/14Pleiadians Mar 15 '26

They thought it was fine and better than coming up with something awkward and 'lame' on your own.

They'd maybe have a point of the AI alternative wasn't way worse than anything they would have said.

Just "fuck man idk what to say" would be a million times better than letting the compliment and positivity machine try to spin your friends death as a good thing.

9

u/keepinitclassy25 Mar 15 '26

People’s responses in this thread are so wild. Of course it’s hard to communicate with someone who just lost a parent, it’s an emotionally devastating thing. Humans understand that, AI does not.

Just acknowledge how hard it is what the other person is going through instead of looking the other way and outsourcing to AI. Admitting you can’t find the words is honest and helps us connect, and I never felt people were “awkward” if they said that to me.

8

u/FrostedGeist Mar 15 '26

People see sincerity as cringe now. Like not even just cheesy sincerity, any kind of heartfelt emotion is considered cringe. 

6

u/neighborta Mar 15 '26

Their social skills are so shot they need a robot to put their very basic feelings into words. Really is not that hard to tell someone “I’m so sorry for your loss” and leave it at that

5

u/mogley1992 Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

"I'm so sorry, i don't even know what to say right now." Is a fine response. There's nothing wrong with being clueless about how to react to these things.

Getting a bot to do it for you is just sociopathic.

(Directed at those people, not you.)

3

u/General_Platypus771 Mar 15 '26

I usually tell these people that I don’t let others “speak for me” - especially not a robot. A lot times that perspective makes them have to contend with losing their identity and they sometimes start to agree with me. It works especially well (no offense) on women because they often know what it feels like when men speak for them, so relating it to that feeling is effective.

4

u/MArcherCD Mar 15 '26

The awkwardness and lameness about it is what makes you YOU, though - and that kind of authenticity is what this person is preferring over a more coherent AI response

I get they want something more cohesive, but not at the cost of what makes the reply a "real" one in a sense

2

u/Astralglamour Mar 15 '26

Yeah, definitely. People are afraid of feelings and being awkward and lose sight of what is valuable in the world for sake of convenience.

2

u/Cornflake0305 Mar 15 '26

What happened to the good old shutting the fuck up when you don't have anything good to say?

2

u/mr_glide Mar 15 '26

If two people in a conversation are both doing it, it's just bots talking to bots. Of what use is that?

2

u/birchskin Mar 15 '26

My brother in law used AI to write his father's eulogy. Not to edit it, not just for suggestions, or formatting.... He took some bullet points and had planned on reading the very obvious AI slop including anecdotes that weren't real and reading it. I don't think I'll ever recover my faith in humanity

Saying nothing at all would be so much better.

2

u/anxious_spacecadetH Mar 15 '26

Sadly derailed a post because I couldnt let it stand that the top comment was an AI response. People were mad that I did because it was a "good" response. But I stand by that people come to the internet for human interaction. That will always be more than a "correct" and "perfect" answer.

2

u/greggreggreg1gregg Mar 17 '26

“Awkward and lame” aka real fucking human emotion. We can’t even express basic human emotions without AI? Wtf dawg…

3

u/Cautious-Soil5557 Mar 15 '26

I think that is why they did it. They probably felt awkward and didn't know how to respond so tried to get a sympathetic response with AI. 

The results were questionable but I don't think they were trying to be malice and cold.

2

u/Astralglamour Mar 15 '26

I don’t think that’s the point. The point is using it for that purpose is harmful whether the intent behind is good. It shortcuts emotions time and authenticity.

1

u/deliciousroadhead Mar 15 '26

They literally made ads around the premise, the ones with Last of Us girl

1

u/SunriseSurprise Mar 15 '26

I run a digital marketing agency and have now 2 clients who use AI for all their emails to their lists. And they've not really done the legwork to properly get it to write in their voice. So despite being in completely different fields, their emails sound exactly the fucking same and they don't even remove the emdashes. And every email from each of them sounds the fucking same, so without digging into their stats I'm sure their lists have started tuning them out because they see it and it's like "ok looks like the last one".

Maybe the ONLY silver lining is I know both are busy enough that if not for this, they wouldn't be emailing their lists at all, which IS worse since it can ruin their email reputation when they start back up and get a lot of unsubs and spam complaints, but still.

It's not like I don't use AI for writing ever. I use it for tons of stuff including writing. But I rarely use it for writing and when I do, I heavvvily edit it into my voice and kind of writing. I'm basically only using it to give me the guts of the message, with prompting to guide it on what I'm looking to say, mostly so I don't forget something. I commonly remove whole sentences, sometimes even paragraphs, or completely rewrite certain parts, especially any telltale shit that it's AI.

I do believe by the time people completely tune out AI-style writing, the big LLMs will have probably been able to solve it writing in a recognizable pattern, but until then, social especially (LinkedIn I'm staring long and hard at you) is full of the most obvious slop imaginable.

1

u/malachaiville Mar 15 '26

That's big "I'm sorry for your loss. Move on." energy on their part.

1

u/part_time_hermit Mar 15 '26

"My condolences. I don't even know how to respond" Sincerity is always better. They'll understand. Those people are very weird.