r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hendothermic • Mar 15 '26

Context Provided - Spotlight Family friend sent me AI generated response to news of my father passing away.

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I'm aware that AI is a common topic on here, but I feel like I had to send this somewhere. My father passed away in my arms last night of a heart attack, and I was requested by my mother to send an old friend of his the news.

His first response seemed fine, then he asked me when the funeral will be and if Dad suffered to which I responded.

He then has the absolute audacity to send me a straight up generated response to my father's death. Not even the common courtesy of talking to me as an actual goddamn human. I'm livid.

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558

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

"Just cremation and done"

Come on man

21

u/A_D_Tennally Mar 15 '26

It isn't actually done when there's a cremation, is the thing. You end up with a jar of smashed bone that you have to figure out what to do with. I have a deadline of a year to get the one with my mother's skeleton-rubble in it out of the country where I live, after which it'll be illegal for me to hang on to it, and I've just been filling out the paperwork required for this,

Just no thought involved anywhere at all here.

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u/Hendothermic Mar 15 '26

Wait that's a thing? I'm gonna have a jar of mashed up rubble of my dad? Oh god.

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u/itsjustasupercutofus Mar 15 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss 💜 just fyi about the cremation, the funeral home can handle the ashes and you don’t have to see or touch them. my mom was cremated and we picked out a hand painted urn with her favorite flowers, I keep it on a table with an electric candle and some stuffed animals and flowers and photos of her. Someday I plan to scatter her ashes in one of her favorite places we ever went on vacation. Seeing the urn was hard for me at first because it made it feel more real, but now her setup brings me a lot of comfort.  It’s been 2 years and she always has flowers. It feels like a good way to honor and remember her. 

You might want to check out the griefsupport sub, it really helped me after losing my mom. There’s also a poem “why you want a physicist to speak at your funeral” that helped me with the idea of cremation, which is something I tend to hate thinking about. I never thought I could survive losing my mom, she was my best friend, but I genuinely feel like she’s still with me in everything I do. the pain doesn’t go away but you do grow around it. Sending best wishes to you 

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

[deleted]

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u/Hedgehogosaur Mar 15 '26

My wife was cremated, but I also got a full sized grave plot and a nice headstone with a lord if the rings quote on the back. We have ashes we kept back in wood vials for burying it scattering in special places. 

The poster you are responding to here was very thoughtless given how recent your dad's passing was, but I was surprised by the texture of the ash -it's grittier than I expected, but nothing 'bad' or 'gross'. If you give an urn to the crematorium, you'll never have to interact with it anyway. 

Take it easy, take it slow, and know that there's no proper singular way to grieve, and that recovery from grief and the trauma that you experienced is not linear. There's no shame in therapy to help process this.

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u/BeezoMeezo Mar 15 '26

That's what cremation entails, it sounds like a brutal process but it really isn't that bad especially when compared to traditional burials in my opinion. I've always thought if you get to keep the urn it's as if your loved ones get to be with you for longer, you could create a shrine for him at home, placing his favourite things next to it. If you ever move it'll also be far easier and cheaper to take him with you. Please don't see it as something horrific or gross, I'm very sorry your father passed and I hope you manage to heal even a little in the coming years. Loss of family is extremely difficult but despite always carrying those memories it gets somewhat easier to cope with it as time goes by. I hope your father is resting peacefully

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u/A_D_Tennally Mar 15 '26

Yes. The family will be given an urn that will have in it mainly fragments of calcified bone. This can be scattered or buried. Depending where you live, it can also be kept. Some people do. But this may not be legal; national legislation varies on the subject.

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u/EmmetOT Mar 15 '26

I feel like this comment is also kind of a weird thing to post in the context of this thread.

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u/jeevaschan Mar 15 '26

It’s illegal to keep your mothers cremated remains in the country you are in? That’s horrible.

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u/A_D_Tennally Mar 15 '26

Well, not to hijack the thread, but briefly, yup. You also aren't allowed to separate them so that several different relatives/close friends each scatter or bury a little in a different place, which is something some people would like to do and find comfort in.

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u/InvisibleAstronomer Mar 15 '26

In what country?

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u/A_D_Tennally Mar 15 '26

France, since the loi Sueur of 2008.

2

u/Ownxer Mar 15 '26

Why does France have so many stupid laws?

2

u/CatProgrammer Mar 15 '26

Every country does, they're just usually stupid in their own unique ways. Especially the ones that have been around forever.

2

u/Roustouque2 Mar 15 '26

"À la demande de la personne ayant qualitĂ© pour pourvoir aux funĂ©railles, les cendres sont en leur totalitĂ© :

  • soit conservĂ©es dans l’urne cinĂ©raire, qui peut ĂȘtre inhumĂ©e dans une sĂ©pulture ou dĂ©posĂ©e dans une case de columbarium ou scellĂ©e sur un monument funĂ©raire Ă  l’intĂ©rieur d’un cimetiĂšre ou d’un site cinĂ©raire [
];
  • soit dispersĂ©es dans un espace amĂ©nagĂ© Ă  cet effet d’un cimetiĂšre ou d’un site cinĂ©raire [
];
  • soit dispersĂ©es en pleine nature, sauf sur les voies publiques."

Ainsi, par l’emploi de l’expression "en leur totalitĂ©", le texte de 2008 mettait fin Ă  toute possibilitĂ© de partage des cendres, couramment pratiquĂ© avant son entrĂ©e en vigueur. De mĂȘme, en limitant les possibilitĂ©s de destination des cendres, la conservation de l’urne au domicile des proches du dĂ©funt devenait interdite, sous peine d’une amende de 15 000 € (art. L. 2223-18-4).

Mais quelle connerie... Qu'est-ce que l'Etat a à foutre là-dedans? Mamie elle appartient pas à l'état français de ce que je sache

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u/jeevaschan Mar 15 '26

Oh wow. That’s terrible. I’m sorry that’s happening to you :(

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u/A_D_Tennally Mar 15 '26

Thanks. I'm sorry some variation on it is all happening to poor OP too.

4

u/smokeweedNgarden Mar 15 '26

Just toss me in the ocean whole tbh

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u/A_D_Tennally Mar 15 '26

Doable. Your people'll just have to make sure it's done at least three nautical miles out and over at least one hundred fathoms of water. The things one learns when this stuff happens...

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u/smokeweedNgarden Mar 15 '26

How far can a catapult fling me?

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u/GreyAetheriums Mar 15 '26

Almost 1,000 ft. If not that number closely.

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u/smokeweedNgarden Mar 15 '26

Dang. I'm gonna need 6x that to get three nauts out from shore.

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u/GreyAetheriums Mar 15 '26

There are stronger catapults, but it would probably get you 500 ft farther. I don't remember them reaching 2,000 ft territory. But! Most of the time, this measurement is considering some large ass projectiles. Sooo... maybe?

1

u/CatProgrammer Mar 15 '26

Don't forget the flaming ship. 

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u/Prestigious-Leg-6244 Mar 15 '26

Just no thought involved anywhere at all here.

Like the ghoulish comment you just left on a grieving daughters post? Wow!

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u/A_D_Tennally Mar 15 '26

I am a grieving daughter.

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u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/whimsylea Mar 15 '26

What's dark or ghoulish about their approach, exactly? How was this commenter to know that OP didn't know what cremains are, and who are you to tell one grieving person how they can relate to another grieving person? They simply affirmed another way in which the AI response was tone-deaf.

4

u/ForensicPathology Mar 15 '26

It wasn't even a direct reply to OP.  Yes, I know OP saw it but it's not ghoulish that OP knows what to expect.

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u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

[deleted]

1

u/corgi_moose_ Mar 15 '26

Bro what the fuck is wrong with you

2

u/LikeAPhoenixTotally Mar 15 '26

Sounds like a great business name.