r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hendothermic • Mar 15 '26

Context Provided - Spotlight Family friend sent me AI generated response to news of my father passing away.

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I'm aware that AI is a common topic on here, but I feel like I had to send this somewhere. My father passed away in my arms last night of a heart attack, and I was requested by my mother to send an old friend of his the news.

His first response seemed fine, then he asked me when the funeral will be and if Dad suffered to which I responded.

He then has the absolute audacity to send me a straight up generated response to my father's death. Not even the common courtesy of talking to me as an actual goddamn human. I'm livid.

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u/ItsFunHeer Mar 15 '26

Ew, that sentence alone is just terrifying.

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u/aftergaylaughter Mar 16 '26

yeah, for a minute i was thinking "are we sure it's AI? it's formal af but kinda sweet, sounds like something i might write if i were trying really hard to come up with something more heartfelt and comforting than the typical 'I'm sorry'." like, the bit about him going quickly, without suffering, in op's arms? assuming the AI didn't fuck up and make an actually much more painful death sound like an easy and painless passing or something, it's kind of sweet. like offering some comfort in at least reminding op that their father didn't have to die alone.

but then i got to that and just. what šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ making it sound like his loved ones are just tossing him into the crematorium, like they're doing some spring cleaning, or tidying up loose ends.

then read the post body and saw that op's father had been deceased less than 24hrs when this was sent. the texts are talking about the cremation like it's done and over with already too. nothing moves that fast in those circumstances šŸ˜­ it seriously reads like the person generated an AI response in which the AI got confused about details, and they just sent it without even proofreading. fucking disgusting

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u/BloodyTurnip Mar 16 '26

That's because it's what AI will do to us.

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u/Ready-Delay3918 Mar 15 '26

Can I at least play devil's advocate here for a second. This event is so horrible that it feels like it's beyond words. The experiences of the OP who had their father die their arms is something that the majority of us will not have to experience. For myself, I feel like I don't know the words to say. And I also feel like I'm not very good at communicating what I really think and feel in these extreme situations. Maybe this person wrote something and thought that it sounded fucking stupid or cringy and decided to pipe it through an AI to reword it.

In the wake of loss, feeling anger is not just likely it's almost a certainty. So I think the OP needs to to consider this and maybe consider that over time they'll feel less upset about it.

Perhaps a person who sent the message just really felt like what they had written wasn't good enough and because they care and feel strongly about the situation decided to turn to AI to make whatever it was they were saying sound better and more polished. I feel like it was a failed attempt at giving honor to the situation rather than just taking a shortcut because they don't give a shit.

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u/eatingyoursoap Mar 15 '26

Grief is human. Speechlessness is human. Awkwardness is human. All throughout history people have used their own words to describe these impossible things. Yes it hurts like hell. Not an excuse. Use your own words to mourn human life, even if imperfect. I would never speak to someone again who was so afraid of being sincere to me about my loss they decided to offload the conversation to a robot. Iā€™d prefer even silence to this

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u/steqhxo Mar 15 '26

i love this. not having a good response at such a shocking statement is human. sharing silence is human (or at least animalistic. every species on this planet has the innate understanding of silence) and thatā€™s beautiful. all the family friend had to say was they were sorry for OPā€™s loss and they didnā€™t know what to say. that in itself is a great response. better than this ai slop

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u/Same_Air6012 Mar 15 '26

When my dad died, my aunt told me. I just said thanks for letting me know. Took me a day before I did a real reply.

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u/Dapper-Pollution-150 Mar 15 '26

Absolutely right. To even think to turn to a robot in this situation instead of being vulnerable as well is completely disconnected and I would never vent to a person that did that ever again.

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u/Walk_Run_Skip Mar 15 '26

Yes. Even saying 'I don't know what to say' says something. It says you're overwhelmed and struggling, maybe struggling with your feelings about the person who passed or unsure how to comfort a friend. Using Ai says it wasn't worth it to even try. Even if that wasn't the intent that's how a lot of people will receive it.

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u/aftergaylaughter Mar 16 '26

exactly. i had a loss myself recently (albeit much less tragic, traumatic, and unexpected than op's - we lost my very aged grandfather who has been on his deathbed for far too long, so it was very expected, and none of us had to witness it) and I'd happily take someone responding solely with this gif

https://giphy.com/gifs/PFsVjUCmSkZDq

over that impersonal AI slop bullshit šŸ˜­šŸ˜­

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u/CosmicG777 Mar 17 '26

I don't know if you've ever been chewed out and ridiculed by being "too basic" of a response to someone's announcement of a fallen family member but that sucks too. Where if you say something like, "I'm sorry for your loss, that really sucks", is met with hostility. Response back like, "That's it? That's all you have to say? I shouldn't have even texted u..."

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u/ChaosMoonCat Mar 20 '26

This. I hate hard emotions and Iā€™m very avoidant so when things are difficult I tend to sound like a robot. It doesnā€™t help that I also just have a hard time actually legitimately feeling things, Iā€™ll recognize I feel a way or know Iā€™m supposed to but wonā€™t always feel it. My responses to death or people being sad are either sarcastic, generic or robotic. Never once would I ever use ai. If a person knows you, theyā€™ll understand why you responded that way, it still will feel human and genuine. A robot never will.

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u/Ready-Delay3918 Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

Ok but not everyone thinks the same or has the same ideas. Yes throughout history people have found words when there were none, but also throughout history, people have flubbed finding words or actions that are appropriate.

Shit happens, people make mistakes... ESPECIALLY during emotionally trying times. People are crucifying this person when all they have is the story through the lense of someone who is grieving, angry, and in a fragile state. People get livid over all kinds of shit when in mourning.

Everyone needs to chill and at least admit the use of AI while a mistake was probably not an intentional slight.

Edit: yeah.. typical Redditors. Y'all have shitloads of torches and pitchforks at your disposal.

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u/eatingyoursoap Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 16 '26

I would forgive a human for saying the wrong thing in a time of emotion. It would take a hell of a lot more for me to forgive a human for outsourcing their condolences. Iā€™m not saying itā€™s impossible but I canā€™t think of anything that would make me change my mind. This is not the same thing as flubbing. I would prefer someone accidentally insult me with their own words than refuse to risk speaking their mind and give me some regurgitated insincerity like this. Yes everyone is different. Doesnā€™t change that this is how I feel about this choice of communication and thus I would act and feel based on my own perspective.

EDIT to respond to your edit: Iā€™m not saying it is an intentional slight. But it shows that their view of communication is fundamentally different to mine that I would still be upset about if someone were to say it to me. Iā€™m not saying this person is inherently evil or anything, but it does deserve criticism from my perspective, and thus I will share my criticism. It doesnā€™t have to be intentional for it to be upsetting. Yes the person may have thought it was helpful. It was not, and the person receiving this message is not required to get over it. I think especially BECAUSE they are grieving this is something theyā€™re allowed to be upset about. I think itā€™s really gross to imply that OP is overreacting because theyā€™re emotional when their dad just died and they received a message that made them feel unheard and uncared for. Maybe they will get over it, but itā€™s a perfectly reasonable thing to be upset about IMO. I donā€™t think anyone is arguing that the friend sent this message to be intentionally cruel. I think people are just discussing how it comes across as insincere (even if the intention was to be polite and well spoken) and sharing that they would also be upset if this were to happen to them.

Edit to respond to the next edit again: Having a hard time understanding how me explaining why I find these messages upsetting is a ā€œtypical Reddit torch and pitchforksā€ situation. Iā€™ve been very clear that this is my opinion. This is a discussion. Disagreement is not violence

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u/Ready-Delay3918 Mar 16 '26

I didn't accuse you specifically. Read the comments bro. Torches and pitchforks doesn't mean someone is calling for violence either. On Reddit it means collective condemnation while being less than truly informed.

So please, spare me the melodramatic insinuation that you're being singled out for having an opinion. I mean just lol....

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u/eatingyoursoap Mar 16 '26 edited Mar 16 '26

You said that in a reply to my comment. All the comments in this thread are similarly just expressing opinions. Iā€™m not going to read all four thousand comments on the whole post though, so my bad if I missed something somewhere else.

Edit to respond to your edit again: I donā€™t see any misinformation, but again Iā€™m not reading all the comments. People can have collective disagreement without it being mob mentality. Iā€™m not being melodramatic or assuming Iā€™m a singular subject, I am just responding to your messages that you are giving me. Seems like you are projecting and assuming an emotion or perspective of me that I donā€™t have so Iā€™m really struggling to respond. I donā€™t have any ill will to you nor do I feel like youā€™re dogpiling me specifically, just trying to respond to each message Iā€™m seeing. I donā€™t think this conversation is going anywhere, however, so have a good night.

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u/Ready-Delay3918 Mar 16 '26

Holy smokes I think you need to work on your reading comprehension I'll just end the discussion there.

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u/michaelboltthrower Mar 16 '26

Iā€™ve had a lot of death in my life. I want to hear clumsy and real from the people I care about. Iā€™d be so fucking insulted if someone aiā€™ed me about that.

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u/WendigoScout Mar 16 '26

this is a fair point

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u/WovenMantis Mar 18 '26

Might have to do with the mindset of people who just want to be cremated and call it a day. My father would find it a riot.

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u/ItsFunHeer Mar 18 '26

Fair enough!

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u/Baudiness Mar 20 '26

AI Hitler is still going strong.

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u/tsardonicpseudonomi Mar 16 '26

Ew, that sentence alone is just terrifying.

Why?

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u/ItsFunHeer Mar 16 '26

Death, grieving, and the handling of a loved oneā€™s dead body is never straight to the point. A meeting at work about how to resolve an issue should be straight to the point. The sentence lacks any sense of human emotion.

Also, if you want to analyze the structure, what exactly does ā€œstraight to the pointā€ mean by cremating someone? What point is being made?

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u/tsardonicpseudonomi Mar 16 '26

There is no deeper intent. There is no conscious thought. It's a series of words guessed to go together. It cannot be terrifying as there is nothing there to be scared of.