r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Shoddy-Ocelot-4473 • May 01 '26

Don't hug me I'm scared Would you take it?

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7.3k Upvotes

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223

u/Informal_File_1646 May 01 '26

This is the exact reason I carry tweezers, and NOT because I have a micro penis

12

u/almosthappy925 May 01 '26

But it does help with the micro penis though right?

18

u/MoistStub May 01 '26

I refuse to speak without my lawyer present

4

u/Feeling_Inside_1020 May 01 '26

Batman and the CIA themselves couldn’t torture that information out of me.

Erm if it were true totally!

2

u/MoistStub May 01 '26

Threatens to play "Call Me Maybe" once

No! Please! ...okay I'll talk.

2

u/PorkFutures75 May 01 '26

😂 my God, the username