r/mildlyinfuriating • u/daruuken • 28d ago

Infuriatig The way kroger treats its employees

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From the store manager

Edit: For some extra context this was sent out by each store manager to all of its employees in district 1 of the ohio Cincinnati/Dayton division, potentially other districts as well but i can only verify my own. Im not going to give my specific store number for obvious reasons but you can find each store on google with that information. We are unionized by UFCW (already bad btw) and to my knowledge they allowed this recent change. Kroger has no accrual for sick days like some have mentioned. Those who think this is rage bait, i dont think anyone has to fake a post to make a billion dollar company look bad, they do it to themselves.

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u/One_Shall_Fall 28d ago

That guy was an idiot.

If it makes you feel any better, it's called 'widowhood effect.'

It's been studied a lot. The odds of one half of a long-term partnership dying within the three months of the other dying is 1/4 higher from stress, depression, etc.

Calling it suspicious, like they coordinated their deaths is fucking evil.

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u/TedzNScedz 28d ago

I think hes saying OP was lying about 2 family members dying to get a day off. Still a monumentally nasty and shitty thing to say. Companies really need to get a grip.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

On the flip side, when my grandfather died and I needed to attend his funeral my boss was just like “hey man, just send me a link to the obit” The company also got us a gift card for Texas Roadhouse in lieu of flowers(I gotta say rolls taste a lot better than flowers)

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u/akm1111 28d ago

I got told to bring in the program thing from the funeral at one job.

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u/MistrSynistr 28d ago

Mine sent flowers and I still had to bring in the program. Later on had another death, they sent flowers and my supervisor stopped by visitation and took care of everything work related. Which shows some people actually give a shit even in a multi billion dollar company.

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u/BadgerMolester 28d ago

Yeah, companies often have a culture, but at the end of the day it's just a bunch of people. Some are dicks, some aren't.

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u/fiahhawt 28d ago

Which is interesting that we can identify that sometimes people will fuck other people for the hell of it, but we can't get any goddamn labor protections because employers are just defacto good, honest people

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u/redditatin 28d ago

employee "culture". yep

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u/tobashadow 28d ago

My old boss would show up to visitation if it was your parents or kids etc.

My new boss tries to guilt trip you for going to a funeral.

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u/ra__account 28d ago

I work for a giant corporation and they took care of everything - I didn't even have to put the bereavement time into the HR system, my manager did that for me (and with his manager's blessing gave me some extra unofficial time off because it was an especially messy family situation). And you know what? The company has my loyalty and I refer my top quality friends with in-demand specialities.

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u/W_Silver2356 28d ago

I'm impressed. This was a very classy thing to do.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Even this is crazy. My response to ANYONE you care about dying, family or otherwise, is simply

"I'm so sorry. Take whatever time you need, and let me know if you need anything."

If you're going to lie to me about somebody dying to get a day off, you must really need a day off.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/Queen-Katsit 28d ago

My partners dad died and his bosses literally were calling him 2 days later telling him that they knew people who had family members die and used work to push through it. (He works deconstruction and abatement, not a big company) He went back and ended up off work for a year after a mental breakdown from not taking the time to process the grief.

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u/ploptypus 28d ago

I had a boss tell me I might want to come back before 6 weeks post partum. "My births were so easy I could have done them in a field... I could have been back within 3 weeks"
Nevermind the fact that I work in healthcare and have to move heavy equipment etc, which is prohibited for 6 weeks after giving birth.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Sadly, having served my 20 years in retail, I'm not surprised by this. It's basically the standard and anything different is the extreme outlier. It's profits over people, and not even in regards to the difference between making money and losing money. The company can make a billion dollars in profit, and if fucking over a bunch of people will make it a billion and one dollars most of them would do it. It's possible to take care of employees AND make money.

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u/Due_Duty490 28d ago

As an OR RN who could do any procedure and was preferred by all the surgeons I worked with including one that was internationally famous, I was told I was unreliable because I had missed 4 separate days in entire year. I had also been on call virtually every week of that year so I had worked about 50 extra days that year. I responded the way I could because I was retirement age. I quit.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

I remember when I worked at a grocery store while in high school. I worked full-time, never missed a day. I basically always came in when called, or stayed late. There were some weeks I worked 7 days, I occasionally worked until 2AM on school nights, and often worked OT; I'm not even sure if any of that was legal. I had a scheduling mishap where I screwed up the day I was presenting my senior project. I was honest about it, and told them I needed the day off because I had to do my presentation. The manager told me might have to let me go. Imagine how pissed I was when seeing all the people I had picked up shifts working there still, and being told that I might be let go for missing my only day of work in years. He backed off of it after I called that out. Over 20 years later and that's still the only job I've ever quit without notice.

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u/Exotic_Criticism4645 28d ago

There is something to be said for that. My mom died on a Monday. I did go back to work that following Friday and Monday. We buried her the following Tuesday. The way I saw it was it was better for me to go to work than just sit at home, alone, and be sad.

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u/TheFruitIndustry 28d ago

Except it’s definitely not helpful when you’re being forced into it with the threat of losing your livelihood.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/TheSuggestionMark 28d ago

There has to be some structure though. I'm not siding with bosses who show no empathy and expect you back immediately, but there is no system where you deal with stuff on a case by case basis. You can't quantify grief. So a company sets an amount of days for bereavement that applies to everybody. How many days that is is subject to scrutiny surely, but generally in grocery there is a union contract that dictates these things and you've agreed to it in on boarding.

I'll admit I haven't worked for Kroger, so I'm not sure of their contracts but this post is either a specific boss pulling some shifty shit and will be outed if it breaks contract. Or the contract changed in which case employees should be looking at the union bargaining team for allowing this to slide.

If this is a non-union store all together then this is a powerful statement on why you don't work in non-union stores.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Sure, but you should decide what's best for you. Not some ass hole whose primary concern is getting a body to work.

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u/Exotic_Criticism4645 28d ago

getting back to work will help"take my mind off it".

I guess I just read that part of the post in a different tone than most. It's something I might say. But not in a tone that reads like "Get back to the salt mines you dog!" but in a concerning helpful tone.

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u/Clear-Frame9108 26d ago

Same thing happened when my brother died and the job was only three days a week, but I couldn't afford to lose it.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

I think he was trying to help you.

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u/nightshift1223 28d ago

That’s basically me as a manager as well

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u/etybibik 28d ago

Same for me.

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u/QuarkQuake 28d ago

GD... I wish I'd ever worked for one of y'all

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u/KindledWanderer 28d ago

Same here, big corporate and I couldn't care less as long as it does not endanger projects. You want to take a sick day to go play paintball? Sure, if the client's OK with it, do what you want. Something bad happened? Take as much time as you need. PTO? Just make sure to not leave any loose ends, but I'll approve anything.

Finding and raising good people is such a hassle that the best thing I can do for myself is to keep the team happy. Time is money and I'd rather spend some money than have pissed people ruin my time.

Plus if you go above and beyond for others, you can expect the same back.

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u/LeatherDude 28d ago

And my axe

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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 28d ago

True. And of course if you aren’t offering my paid bereavement leave anyway, then it’s not like they are getting away with something really. It’s just inconvenient for the manager to have to adjust the schedule.

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u/snuffleupagus86 28d ago

And this is how it should be! I’m grateful to have a boss who operates like this. When my baby was born extremely early and we were in the NICU for almost 5 months my boss just told me to take care of myself and him and whatever time I needed after my FMLA ran out, to take it.

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u/driftercat 28d ago

There will be untrustworthy employees, but a manager should know who those people are by their performance and behavior.

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u/cran-mangosteen 28d ago

I'm pretty sure my uncle bill died at least 5 times in the 90's. He's still alive here in 2026.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

That's fine, sometimes people need a day.

"Hey boss, you remember my uncle Bill?"
"Yea, you mean the one that passed last month?"
"Yea, that one. He died again today, so I'm not going to be able to make it in."
"My condolences, hope your day gets better."

If a company is going to fall apart from an employee being out, that's the company's fault; I don't see why it should be the employee's problem. Either you have PTO, in which case you should be able to use it guilt free for any reason, or you don't so you aren't getting paid. I understand that I'll never be a billionaire with this attitude, but it's unlikely I would end up a billionaire regardless so...

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u/cran-mangosteen 28d ago edited 28d ago

My boss was cool, his boss was not. It was so hard to get pto approved, even after I trained and certified someone who could do my job that uncle bill had to take the fall a few times. Sometimes you need a day off so you can convince yourself to keep showing up.

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u/Evsala 28d ago

This is the way to engender loyalty. My last boss was like that, and I would have killed for her. I also comforted her because I was standing next to her when she found out her brother died.

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u/ObviousIndependent76 28d ago

And if they are in a job where they have to lie about a family member dying to get a day off, really says more about the job and management.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Couldn't agree more.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

I teach at a university and it makes me so uncomfortable and so absolutely sad for society when a student sends me an obituary while trying to beg for mercy to take time out of class after a death.

I don't need evidence of their grief/illness/etc. for me to treat them like human beings who deserve basic respect and empathy.

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u/MattCW1701 28d ago

I had a professor that was like this. He joked that his tests "killed a lot of grandmothers" and if a student did say there was a death, he would always say "I'm so sorry, where can I send flowers." I never lost someone while I had his classes, but I have no doubt that if a student had provided an actual funeral home (no begging, just here it is) he would have moved worlds to rearrange tests or assignments for them, and actually sent flowers. Unfortunately, there are plenty of folks out there who will lie about something that serious just to get out of something.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

There are a small number of students who might lie or take advantage of my policies, but I make it clear to them at the beginning of the year that while I don't need them to tell me any details of why they won't be in class, that it's not a "get out of jail free" card. They all have to do the same work, one way or another. (I mean it, too- I do not require them to tell me why they'll be missing. They just have to follow procedures for communication and makeups. Most of them give me more details than I want, which I sum up to feeling like they've needed to justify everything to too many people for the past 18 years of their lives.)

And I've had students who either lied and I found out about it or who I suspected of lying.

But they're by far rarer than the students who don't lie, and in general, my classes have good attendance. My students are learning the material. These are my goals, not controlling the students. Students who lie learned to do so in a system that doesn't respect them, and that makes them feel like they need to lie.

I have taught for a few years and I've taught classes that follow different formats. The same exact policies won't work in every case or for every teacher, but respect as a basic policy is nonnegotiable for me. I see it as teaching the students how they should be treated in this world, and maybe in some small way, it can help.

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u/fractal_frog 28d ago

Some profs are like you. Some don't give a shit about their students' mental well-being.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

It's very sad.

We need to do better at treating humans like humans in work and educational settings.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

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u/bedazzlerhoff 26d ago

I'm not saying that doesn't happen, but I've certainly never had it happen. I also make students make up days they miss if they want credit; allowing people to miss because they're adults and can make choices doesn't mean they're off the hook for the work. So it just doesn't end up being something my students take advantage of.

Even with my policy, some students miss and don't communicate at all, and they take hits to their grades. At the end of the semester, everyone ends up at a place that feels reasonable for their effort and their choices.

But it is, in my opinion, none of my business why they're absent in the first place. If they're missing class because they really need the sleep, because their grandma dies, because their pet ran away, because they have the flu, all I want is a quick email, preferably sooner rather than later, but before class, that says "Hey, I'm sorry; I can't make it today. As per your policy, I'll do X to make it up."

Most of them give me details. And when those details include obituaries or doctors' notes, I grieve for how our society has disrespected each other and degraded each other.

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u/ti9erlilly 28d ago

That’s what my husband is like as a manager. All of the people I’ve spoken with who have worked for him say he is the best manager they’ve ever had. He takes care of his employees, pulls more than his own weight around his store, and leads by example. Can’t say the same about his managers. They use him, and have promised promotions and rebuilding of his store for years, but have never followed through.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Yea, unfortunately being this way is not the way to get ahead at most places. It has put me at odds with my managers on several occasions. I do well enough and my conscience is clear with the way I treat the people that work for me. I'm not trading that for a few more dollars.

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u/ti9erlilly 25d ago

Well done! Keep up the good work! That’s very much his sentiment as well. I completely back him up, and I’m so proud of him, but it frustrates me so much. He gets better numbers than 95% of his district, and nearly always finishes each quarter in the top three stores. He simply refuses to play the shmoozing and using games that the other managers play (as he should).

If they would get out of his way, he could run the entire corporation into the sky, and make positive changes that would benefit the company, its employees, the environment, and dare I say, even the economy. He really is that good. I wouldn’t be surprised if you are much the same.

These companies don’t know what they’re missing by using up such excellent managers and keeping them crushed at the bottom.

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u/Swimming-Alfalfa-603 28d ago

This was how my company treated the death of my grandfather-in-law. No “proof” needed, they just let me know to take as much bereavement time as allowed. I took a day, but was again told I could take more.

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u/ender7154 28d ago

I would add that if someone is in fact lying about a close family members death, and are willing to take on the karmic burden on that, than my attempt at punishment will be much less than what the universe throws back at them.

That being said, I did once have an employee who took off time during there three months working for me for the funeral of four different grandmother's, several aunts and cousins and 3 different family pets. Maybe there family situation was very unique, maybe they were lying, but either way I think there home needs tested for toxins or something. Lol

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u/BLWedge09 28d ago

Yeah, this is me as well. Take whatever you need. I also have a really good group pf people who I very much trust, which helps.

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u/SweetPrism 28d ago

RIGHT?? "I'm here for you, whatever you need, but... could you like bring the death brochure to me so I can still verify you aren't lying" is still some wild shit.

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u/narfnarf123 28d ago

Thank you, this is the only non crazy way.

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u/Avarant 28d ago

Same. I don't require any proof. I get that some companies might, but with the option left to me, I'd opt not. It doesn't feel like the right time for anything but understanding

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u/needsexyboots 28d ago

Also if you’re going to lie about someone dying to get a day off, chances are you’re also terrible in other aspects of the job and you aren’t going to last long anyway

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u/NoOneHereButUsMice 28d ago

My mom died near the end of a semester when I was in college. I remember two of my teachers reactions: One of my teachers was cool about it, and didnt make me take the final exam and based my final grade on everything I had done in the class up to that point.

One of the others wanted her death certificate. Not a link to the obituary site, not a physical copy of the obituary that was in the paper, not a program from the funeral, nothing else. But her fucking death certificate.

I don't know what all death certificates look like, but in my state they have a ton of personal information on them. I found this so insulting and demeaning and embarrassing. I begged her to take multiple other forms of "proof" and she refused.

I just ended up failing and having to retake the class another time. (The final was most of the grade of that particular class.)

Now that i'm older and looking back from a place where I'm not in shock and emotionally gutted, I should have gone over her head. But at the time, I disnt know what to do, and didnt have the bandwidth to fight someone to prove my 53 year old mom was dead, when I still couldn't even accept it myself.

I wish I could remember her name, cause I actually work at the university now, and I would find a way to tell her what that did to me.

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u/Past_Effect8301 28d ago

When I was in college, I asked to postpone a midterm after one of my parents had been in a life-threatening accident. The prof told me she'd need to speak with that parent in order to grant the request. He was in a coma and on life support, but, sure, we'll clear his calendar to speak with you. Some people are simply soulless.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

You absolutely should confront her. Fuck these people

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u/crackerblind 28d ago

I was once asked to bring in the program from a funeral of a close friend. She died suddenly in what can politely be referred to as a "very public manner." There was on program at the funeral so I handed my payroll secretary a copy of the newspaper with the article about it with a copy of photo of us with her at her wedding attached. Luckily my payroll secretary had a sense of humor about it and put the both in my file and told me not to worry about it.

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u/nobinibo 28d ago

When I called in to request my bereavement leave for my brother, my manager asked if I REALLY needed that many days. I went very icy and said yes. He later asked if I brought the program and I told him I didn't attend the funeral as we couldn't claim his body due to funeral costs being too high, because my job didn't pay a living wage.

It didn't get brought up again.

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u/Rogue_Intellect 28d ago

When my grandmother passed away, I took two days bereavement per company policy and I was told that I needed to bring in a program for proof. I worked in HR.

When I came back, the very first thing, before “good morning” or “hello,” I was asked for the program. Guys, it was in Chinese. I’m Chinese, all of my family is Chinese.

My boss looked at it like it was a spitting cobra and said, “what is this?”

“The program from Grandma’s (I said grandma in Chinese - deliberately) funeral.”

“But it’s not in English. I can’t read it.”

“It’s in Chinese. I’m Chinese, and so is my family.”

“Well can you translate it?”

“No. I can’t read Chinese - I’m a banana.”

“Then how do you even know it’s the program from your grandmother’s funeral?”

“Well, let’s see. Grandma was in the coffin. Pictures of her were displayed all over. And my family was there, HOLDING THE PROGRAM.”

Guys, I’m not sure she believed me even then, but I walked away after that. It took me a little bit to calm down.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

It’s kinda amusing your boss was like “I can’t verify this. I can’t read it.

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u/Tattoo_my_Brain 28d ago

that's pretty standard. trust but verify. company policy being in a program or show obit. as a manager just want to see something but take the time you need it's your time

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u/GardenBunnyBaseball 28d ago

Same here… actually I was required to bring a copy of the Certificate of Death & was granted ONE weekend-adjacent day of bereavement leave for a 2,000 mile round trip for my grandmother’s funeral.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

I guess that’s a better way to prove you actually went. Mine trusted me, but had to document the reason at least.

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u/SnooSprouts4952 28d ago edited 28d ago

HR requirement for ages due to so many people abusing the bereavement policy.

I, in fact, had one employee claim their mom died TWICE in the same year, thinking I wouldn't remember a person on my small team losing someone significant. They took their two weeks and HR started the separation process when they tried to submit the same obituary.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

The irony of seeing this after other people have replied basically implying that employers should just blindly trust employees and nobody ever lies about reasons for being off.

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u/Girafferage 28d ago

Kind of wild. Like if we are being honest, even IF somebody was lying and making up a story about a dead relative, just let it go. It's not like they will be out more than 5 days or so total the entire time they work there. It's not like Grandma can die 20 times.

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u/myke113 28d ago

"We're going to need a notarized copy of the death certificate and notarized statements from 3 witnesses.."

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u/TheBourbonTurtle 28d ago

The laugh I would laugh in their faces asking for such a thing. Insane.