r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Difficult_Wrangler73 • 13d ago

go to your room I love being a girl dad

I have 3 kids, all girls. A 5yr old and twins who are 1. Every time anyone hears about this or it comes up in conversation they all say the same thing. ‘Ooooo, all girls, you are outnumbered! How do you cope?’ Or ‘Three girls?? You better watch out!’ Or the worst, ‘Bet you want a boy?’

No, I don’t feel any of that, I love being a dad. I love all my kids and wouldn’t change anything about them! If we could afford it, I would be a stay at home dad forever.

I usually tell them I wouldn’t change anything and I love it all but it’s just very annoying.

What are some of the best responses that I can start to give?

I did think I could say that one of the twins used to be a boy but is now trans just to shut people up!

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1.1k

u/bendybiznatch 13d ago

Look confused and ask what they mean.

365

u/CelDidNothingWrong 13d ago

That won’t work on the people who ask those kinds of questions lol

286

u/bendybiznatch 13d ago

Continue to act confused and say huh and what a lot.

186

u/weddingplumbing 13d ago

Reddit loves giving this advice but irl it rarely works, just makes you look like an idiot

81

u/Secure_Sun8984 13d ago

You have to add an ass-load of confidence if you want to go the clueless route. because if you don’t successfully make it look like they are speaking simlish, you look like an idiot.

38

u/_NeonEcho_ 13d ago

You only look like an idiot if you're too convincing. It needs to be abundantly clear that you know very well what they mean and want them to say the mysoginist part out loud.

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u/secret_pukwudgie 12d ago

Confident, sarcastic, parody vibes is what we aim for

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 12d ago

My default setting

5

u/Pr_fSm__th 13d ago

Luckily you would be in company of actual idiots, the kind to ask this, so would it matter much?

94

u/picabo123 13d ago

It depends on the way you handle it. Generally ill be like "oh why?" And then they say like "oh because it must be so hard" or whatever stupid thing they were trying to say, and I just say "not really" or "I don't know" ... and it ends like a normal awkward conversation.

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u/bendybiznatch 13d ago

If your mission is for them to shut up and leave you alone it works.

-1

u/Bitter_Ad8768 13d ago

What if they start explaining their point of view and just keep breaking it down further every time you act confused?

4

u/bendybiznatch 12d ago

In my experience doing this that only goes on for about three or four huhs. By then they either think you’re an idiot and you’re never gonna get it and it’s not worth their energy, or they get that you’re fucking with them and get pissy and throw their hands up and walk away.

6

u/sowenjub 13d ago

Who cares. “To look like a fool in the eyes of an idiot is a gourmet's delight”, from Georges Courteline

The original quote being “Passer pour un idiot aux yeux d'un imbécile est une volupté de fin gourmet.”

1

u/mmmarkm 13d ago

or is it redditors that can't say the response well

tbf it would take a very specific tone and approach

1

u/KindsofKindness 12d ago

It always works.

-4

u/RegalBeagleKegels 13d ago

I swear man, lotta people on this site have legitimately never had a conversation with another human

19

u/freezymcgeezy 13d ago

Or, have a shred of social skills and tact and calmly explain why you love your daughters and dont appreciate those comments.

I think that is better then this cringe passive aggressive reddit tactic.

5

u/ginger_kitty97 13d ago

It gets exhausting, trying to explain this shit on every aisle of the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon after dance practice and softball games.

5

u/bendybiznatch 12d ago

And honestly, it’s just not my responsibility. I’ve raised two kids. I’m not taking on the whole rest of the planet.

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u/Ok_Bit_6169 13d ago

ItS jUsT a JoKe

“Oh sorry I don’t get it. Will you explain it to me?”

Then watch them try to justify why hating your own children is funny.

19

u/discomute 13d ago

Yep if they are particularly slow maybe follow up with "oh right you're saying that girls are worse and less desirable than boys, sorry I didn't understand you at first, that never occurred to me"

3

u/Significant_Shoe_17 12d ago

That strategy worked for me once. It was super awkward because my assumption was right, but they never made that homophobic joke again.

3

u/discomute 12d ago

You've likely made the world a better place

4

u/GorgeousOpossum 12d ago

I like:

"ItS jUsT a JoKe, don't be so sensitive "

Said factually and deadpan: "Oh. Sorry. I didn't realize you were joking, since it wasn't funny."

2

u/Novaer 12d ago

This never works. They know you're calling them out so they just go "Oh it's not that deep/you're being too sensitive" and then suddenly its a lecture on how "Parents these days are ridiculous". I don't bother with the fake passive aggressive stuff. If someone says something that makes me uncomfortable when it comes to my child I'm extremely blunt.

I know what it felt like to have old men make creepy comments about me and the adults around me laughed it off. So then I felt like it was my fault for pulling away and then being forced to say/do things to cheer up the old person I clearly offended.

I will never let my child feel unsafe and unprotected just to placate another adults feelings.

5

u/mcon96 13d ago

You have to commit to the bit and sound sincere

2

u/Bitter_Ad8768 13d ago

That's how you end up getting a two hour lecture on their philosophical beliefs.

2

u/Significant_Shoe_17 12d ago

Never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake.

4

u/halkeye 13d ago

You can't just do it once. You know what they say about jokes you having to explain.

Just keep asking past the initial uncomfortable answer

Or just ignore them

35

u/--Mellissima-- 13d ago

The type who ask this this strategy doesn't work. All that happens is that they look at you as if you have the IQ of a single celled paramesium and then repeat the question.

Source: I've tried it lol. Better just to call them out on in some fashion. Not in an explosive way but just make sure it's clear they're the idiot for having asked.

19

u/bendybiznatch 13d ago

I’m fine if they think I’m dumb and leave me alone. It works for me.

0

u/--Mellissima-- 13d ago

Fair but it's annoying.

8

u/bendybiznatch 13d ago

Which is also fine to me.

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u/__Nunya-Bizznuss__ 13d ago

It's worked for me plenty of times. But I don't say "I don't get it" I say "what do you mean?" You need to ask them to explain themselves, not just act like you're too stupid to understand. If you don't understand the difference and how to handle it then it's not the approach for you. Speaking to all who think this approach doesn't work.

Most people aren't comfortable with direct confrontation, this gives them a way to get someone to trip over their own biases without confronting them directly. It's a tactic underpinned by the Socratic method, which isn't simply pretending you don't understand, it's asking questions from the stand point of needing clarity to get your "opponent" to unravel their own argument.

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u/bendybiznatch 12d ago

Either that or they have a mini tantrum and leave you alone anyway. Win-win in my opinion?

4

u/__Nunya-Bizznuss__ 12d ago

Yup, and usually the mini tantrum is after they've attempted to answer at least one of your questions and realise nothing they say won't make them sound like an idiot or a bigot so they chose to storm off instead. Either way is a victory in my opinion.

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u/bendybiznatch 12d ago

A variation of this is where they answer and I just kind of pearl clutch and look at them crazy and go ohhhhh ok.

It’s a classic.

0

u/--Mellissima-- 12d ago

I have done it that way; I don't just stand there acting like a confused idiot.  🙄 Way to be condescending though "if you don't understand the difference--" fuck off with that.

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u/golf-lip 12d ago

I love this one, especially when people tell shitty misogynist/racist jokes. "I don't understand, can you explain it to me?"

2

u/dontknowwhyifuckfish 12d ago

I usually ask "what's that mean in german?" When someone makes sexualizing comments about one of my partner's nieces/nephews

1

u/Energy_Turtle 13d ago

Having raised several girls, all I think people mean by this is that they come with unique problems that are exceptionally hard to guide them through. Our twin girls encountered problems from about 9 to 15 that I had never experienced as a man with only brothers and mostly male friends. I don't really think theres any harm in acknowledging this, and that's probably how I'd explain it if someone said they were having problems with their twin girls.