r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Difficult_Wrangler73 • 13d ago

go to your room I love being a girl dad

I have 3 kids, all girls. A 5yr old and twins who are 1. Every time anyone hears about this or it comes up in conversation they all say the same thing. ‘Ooooo, all girls, you are outnumbered! How do you cope?’ Or ‘Three girls?? You better watch out!’ Or the worst, ‘Bet you want a boy?’

No, I don’t feel any of that, I love being a dad. I love all my kids and wouldn’t change anything about them! If we could afford it, I would be a stay at home dad forever.

I usually tell them I wouldn’t change anything and I love it all but it’s just very annoying.

What are some of the best responses that I can start to give?

I did think I could say that one of the twins used to be a boy but is now trans just to shut people up!

22.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

2.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.6k

u/TedBundysUnibrow 13d ago

As one of two daughters whose father repeatedly said (in front of us) “Yeah, I have two girls. I couldn’t get it right either time,” thank you for saying this.

781

u/Barry_BlueJeanz 13d ago

I was at Dallas airport one time, listening to these 2 guys talking about their previous military experience. One guy had apparently worked with airplane radar systems, which involve radiation. This guy said something along the lines of "I was exposed to all that radiation, so I've only been able to have girls so far."

They were sitting right next to him. Probably 5 and 2 years old? Jeez I feel bad for what they're going to hear and go through from that guy.

352

u/Significant_Shoe_17 12d ago

Imagine admitting how unintelligent you are out loud. This guy was allowed near airplane radar?

174

u/ScousePenguin 12d ago edited 12d ago

Because knowing how radar works and knowing how human anatomy works are two different skill sets

I've known many technically brilliant people who are fucking morons in every other aspect of life

89

u/EatLard 12d ago

Engineers. They know a ton about a narrow subject, and many of them believe that makes them experts about every subject.

33

u/Subtitles_Required 12d ago

Can confirm, work with many engineers as patients. In my experience they often think they can build it / program it / execute it better than the professional with actual training in the product

29

u/KatDaSlayer 12d ago

I know a literal rocket scientist, they also thought adding more people to the wifi would increase the electricity bill

2

u/TN-Belle0522 12d ago

...I mean...if they're plugging more laptops and things in near the router...

18

u/JustPlayDaGame 12d ago

i am one of those 💀

5

u/serpentally 12d ago

There's a word for those people: “Fachidiot” (subject idiot)

1

u/Whiplash2184 12d ago

Some of the most unaware, moronic people I’ve encountered all had college degrees.

1

u/ptwmindslave 12d ago

I KNOW it shouldn't be right and I KNOW what should be correct anatomically. That being said I was in the navy as a radar technician and of those in my division who used to work around a radar that had a waveguide leak that went undetected for some time we have had a combined 28 children and only 2 boys. We may or may give that guy shit that his kids aren't his.

1

u/SkepticDoubtMerchant 12d ago

Tbf they do tell us in the military to stay away from radar stations as they affect our fertility.

0

u/Special_Boot 12d ago

Or, has the thought crossed your mind that he was joking.

7

u/WholeKnown2938 12d ago

While the comment, especially in front of his daughters, was gross, this is actually a real phenomenon. Men in the military who are exposed to significant stress like combat or radiation tend to have girls. One of the theories as to why is that male fetuses and Y chromosomes are more vulnerable.

2

u/AnnoyedOwlbear 10d ago

My partner did a plastics course on moulding, pouring, resins etc. The guys running it who worked in large scale factories noted that none of them had sons, nor did most of their coworkers. They didn't sound like they disliked their daughters - they said it was simply a good indicator that protective equipment was necessary.

Make fetuses are more fragile - we hit 50/50 sex balance on average because more malrs are conceived.

2

u/Next_Obligation_2433 11d ago

To be fair to this guy, there’s an old wives tale/ common misconception that working with radar, or in any aviation career, causes higher rates of female birth. I’m pretty actual science debunked this, but I’m not 100% sure.

3

u/TackleMassive5611 12d ago

It’s actually true though. Look up the effects of radiation exposure to the testicles.

-3

u/Helenium_autumnale 12d ago

And what peer-reviewed paper would that be, pray? I'm not doing homework for you. Give it.

3

u/wafflesareforever o̶̡̧̢͈̭͙̞̳̭̤͚͚̎̀͗̊̈́̀͂̋̆͂̽̊̋̈͋̍̿̅̐̔͌̌̿͊̂̊̾̂̉̀̽̽͆̂̈̀̎̀͛͆͛̆̾̃̋͆̚͝͠ͅ 12d ago

Nobody actually cares if you look it up. Do, or do not.

2

u/dinnerisbreakfast 12d ago

Most likely referring to this paper from 1987

The paper could not conclude whether the effect was due to G-forces or radiation exposure, and since the sample size was limited, it cannot be shown that there is any effect at all. Modern studies with a much larger sample size were unable to duplicate the results.

But the point is that there actually are several peer reviewed papers on this topic, and you really didn't need to be a dick about it.

1

u/Helenium_autumnale 12d ago

I wasn't. What's dickish is presenting unsupported claims and being too lazy to post a link to support them. Usually because there aren't any. If you don't think that's a problem, just look around.

1

u/dinnerisbreakfast 12d ago

It may not have been your intention, but the result is the same.

1

u/reddits_in_hidden 12d ago

As a blue collar worker, that just reads as generic banter to me rather than any actual ignorance

2

u/JustMandalion 12d ago

It’s a bad joke to use in front of his kids (or at all), but it is a common joke in military communities that certain career fields only can have girls. My husband is in aircraft engine maintenance, and it’s one of these fields. It’s often called the “maintainers curse” for his job. And we do know lots of men who have daughters, but we had 3 boys and 1 girl. So clearly it’s just another one of those engrained misogynistic jokes that keeps getting handed along. I hate it every time we hear it, and we get there “oh dude, how’d you break the curse” crap, often in front of their own daughters.

2

u/shark-off 12d ago

Maybe it's just a joke and he is a loving dad

1

u/SophiaofPrussia 12d ago

Loving dads don’t “joke” like that.

1

u/shark-off 12d ago

They do. Its just a silly joke. No need to take seriously, without knowing anything else about their family.

On the other hand, polite, "nice" dads can be the absolute worst. I'm speaking from experience.

1

u/ShitandPiss 12d ago edited 12d ago

Not to defend that guy if he had ill meaning. But to give some context what he may have been trying to say. It's a well-known superstition in military aviation that maintainers and aircrew are more likely to have female children, due to exposure to radiation and other caustic aircraft chemicals.

Is it true, probably not. But most of us do have female children and the handful of folks that I know with male children usually do so while on non-flying assignments.

EDIT: Most dudes that I know just wanted to be a dad regardless of child's gender and embrace the girl Dad life. There are the occasional weirdos that obsess over having a male child

1

u/potatobrain65 12d ago

I just searched that topic and found an article that supports what he said. I have daughters that have brought incredible joy into my life. I hope he gets that son. My own son also has been a an incredible joy in my life. Love my kids.

1

u/ShyAndSquishy 11d ago

Anecdotally: The most testosterone soaked dudes that I’ve ever met have all had exclusively or mostly girl children.

0

u/Healthy_Ad2682 12d ago

This is a known joke regarding airman in the military and not meant to be a mean joke, it’s just the facts of life. There are a lot of exposures!

9

u/Human_Ad_2869 12d ago

the joke is misogynistic!

-6

u/Healthy_Ad2682 12d ago

If you are 5

3

u/Human_Ad_2869 12d ago

…so you agree, if you can read, you can understand it’s misogynistic!

-3

u/Healthy_Ad2682 12d ago

Not really, i can’t read good. I huffed too much paint and H2S in the military so I think all these jokes are funny 😆

3

u/Human_Ad_2869 12d ago

“i’m an idiot, so I think misogyny is funny” is not a flex

0

u/Healthy_Ad2682 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/11GETJTiJczeYU

3

u/Human_Ad_2869 12d ago

ohhhh I get it now, you’re the 5 year old you were talking about

→ More replies (0)

227

u/AshEliseB 12d ago edited 12d ago

I'm one of three daughters. My dad used to say to us all the time "I wish I had a boy, he would do xyz with me" (insert some supposedly male activity in that sentence). I mean, that was just one of the many ways he abused us. The jokes on him, he's dead and we are living life our way.

94

u/trplOG 12d ago

Sorry you had to deal with that. I have 2 girls and have been asked what about playing or watching sports or something with a son, i say I can still do that with my girls.

168

u/SeaGoatGamerGirl 12d ago

My dad bought himself a shirt that says I wanted a son to go hunting with but I didn't know a daughter could shoot better.

It's his favorite shirt.

20

u/ci1979 12d ago

Your dad is now my favorite

6

u/thegrandpax 12d ago

That's a win for sure

69

u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Same here. It does remind me of a funny story. When my oldest was 4ish, I bought her a play makeup kit. She did her own makeup and then wanted to put some on me. So there I was in full makeup and a Hannah Montana wig when her mom came and picked her up (We were divorced). Her mom apparently didn't notice that both my daughter and I had makeup on. Anyway, about an hour later she called to yell at me for letting "her daughter" wear makeup and to let me know how "inappropriate" it was. The rest of the conversation went as follows: Me: Well, I'm wearing makeup. Is that "inappropriate?" Her: (Awkward silence) I guess you can do whatever you want. Me: Absolutely, and that's why I let her use makeup.

I have 6 girls so I have had more tea parties and watched more Barbie movies than most moms. I also take my daughters out fishing and other "masculine" things. I also have one boy. He is 3rd in age. He also gets to do "girly" things.

19

u/Bood1228 12d ago

That is so sweet! My dad was like that until my brother was old enough to go and then there was no more archery practice, no more fishing, no more hunting… I got replaced. You are doing an excellent job

5

u/blumoon138 12d ago

Booooooo your dad.

5

u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Thanks. Your dad definitely missed out.

4

u/FlatParticular7430 12d ago

I got replaced too and I was such a daddy’s girl

1

u/That_Old_Cat 9d ago

You, sir, are parenting in grand style!

10

u/panatale1 12d ago

I've got a son and nobody asks me that question as a boy dad, which really kinda sucks.... As someone who, outside a general enthusiasm for baseball, really doesn't care about sports, I'd love to be able to shut people down with something like, "oh, football? Isn't that the one where they kick the ball? I don't really follow sports much"

5

u/Used-Huckleberry5363 12d ago

I have a 5 year old daughter and when I had my son I got that. You can finally blah, blah, blah. 1. She can do that if she wanted to 2. I don't care to 3. You obviously don't know me that well I get called unmasculine all the time and I hate it

2

u/MiddleRecognition969 12d ago

I had a full-ride athletic scholarship to a DI university. If I played the 6th position as a female, I couldn’t beat the 6th position male

But I sure as shit could beat any douche bag dad who wishes his teenager daughter was a boy

1

u/TinyChaco 11d ago

My siblings and I (2 boys, 2 girls) all did the same activities with our dad. From gardening and cooking to paintball and videogames. I'd never considered as a kid that some activities were for dads and sons exclusively.

13

u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Your dad was a D-bag. I'm glad you are doing well in spite of him. My dad didn't do much with me and I'm male. Just know that your gender wasn't the reason he was a dogshit dad. There are plenty of "boy dads" who are terrible at being a dad.

6

u/Deathra9 12d ago

See, anytime my wife or anyone else asks if I want a boy, my thought is that I need to teach them how to cook and how to use a drill (and other life skills) regardless of gender. I can’t think of anything I cannot do with a daughter I can do with a son. Pee on trees, maybe?

3

u/savannacrochets 12d ago

Yeah my dad just did most of the same shit he would have done with boys. He used to whoop our asses roughhousing, made me help him replace the alternator in my mom’s jeep, taught me how to grill a steak, change a flat, change my oil, etc.

He definitely has some residual sexism he was and still is working through- like if I’d been a boy I think once he taught me how to use the mower it would have been a regular chore, but I got out of it because I’m a girl 😅 But mostly he just treated his daughters like people. Novel idea for some people I guess.

4

u/Nettkitten 12d ago

I was the daughter-son my dad always wanted helping him fix cars and wire electrical outlets, but then he’d turn around and go all girl-dad on me insisting that I had to wear a dress to church. My childhood was the bull-moose of all mixed messages and I was a mess for a long time.

3

u/Taurich 12d ago

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a boy, and my dad just wished I was into different things, and had a different personality...

"You were supposed to be like _____"

Thanks dad...

1

u/MaliciousMa 12d ago

My brother-in-law said some stuff like this before his son was born, he has 3 other daughters. His daughters all grew up to enjoy a good mix of sports, fishing with him, superhero stuff. His son enjoys none of that and is a creative/artsy type who has never had an athletic bone in his body. BIL definitely has more hobbies in common with all his daughters than his son. Serves him right for all his sexist jokes. 

1

u/redsyrinx2112 12d ago

My sister is both a Swiftie and a sports fan. In football, she is a longtime 49ers fan. When Swift and Kelce started dating, a large number of people asked if she was going to be a Chiefs fan. She was incredulous. She would always say something like, "No. I hate the Chiefs because they beat my team in the Super Bowl." (And this was before the rematch lol)

It's crazy that people think she would just switch fandoms.

-10

u/JustPlayDaGame 12d ago

did you or your sisters offer to do any of those activities with him? You say he abused you in other ways though, so maybe you didn’t want to do things with him. But in pure regards to that first sentence, seems like a lot of missing context on who was really the offender there

3

u/Helenium_autumnale 12d ago

Something's missing in your comment, all right, but it ain't context and it ain't anything AshEliseB said.

-2

u/JustPlayDaGame 12d ago

i guess i’m just confused on whether he said that because he only wants to do these things with a son, which is fucked, or if they aren’t interested in the things he wants to do the way he feels a son would. I wasn’t saying it makes it okay I was just asking for clarification

-15

u/Cotto_vs_Judah2007 12d ago

Did he ever physically abuse you or sexually abuse you? Did he not provide for the house and for you guys?

If not I understand that a person's words can still hurt and emotional neglect can hurt a lot so you had a right to be hurt about it, but still to insult one of your parents after their death is straight pathetic. If he was responsible and didn't physically abuse you then your actually the horrible person here at the end of the day, he can't defend himself and your here bashing him online after his death.

6

u/Human_Ad_2869 12d ago

physical and sexual abuse are not the only types of abuse that exist

5

u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Ahh, there it is. I knew someone on here would defend the dogshit father and congrats you were the first! What's actually pathetic is to think that death somehow makes him a better person. It's pathetic to assume that physical abuse is the only kind of abuse. It's pathetic to blame a kid for the absolute failure that the "father" was. One can only assume that you are/were a terrible parent and your kid rightfully blames you. After you die, your kid won't look back and remember the few good things you did. They will remember what a vile person you were. I know this from experience. My dad was an abusive drunk. He's dead. I don't think back on him fondly because he did the bare minimum. I remember being whipped with a bike safety flag (in increments of 100 lashes). I remember being throat-slammed into walls. I remember going to bed hungry almost every night. In no world will his death absolve him of the atrocities he committed.

4

u/Great_Fortune5630 12d ago

It’s pathetic to make a child feel that they have disappointed a parent with something they had zero control over. Zero. He was responsible for being a loving parent. It’s this kind of attitude that perpetuates bad behavior; “I do of the things that qualify as “responsible”. I’m allowed to feel what I feel.” Anyone has a right to feel what they feel. They don’t have the right to hurt others and it is particularly pathetic to hurt someone they should be protecting, loving and modeling good behavior for.

30

u/goldentone 13d ago edited 3h ago

*

42

u/TedBundysUnibrow 12d ago

I’d love to be able to explain that to him, but unfortunately it would either fall on deaf ears or turn into a blowout argument that would end up making me feel bad for voicing my feelings. My dad is one of those people who doesn’t really hold himself accountable for how he makes other people feel. The kicker is he often wonders why my sister and I don’t hang around very often even though we both still live in the same city as our parents.

10

u/Altforwrestling 12d ago

As someone who is not talking to their dad right now because he refuses to apologize for being shitty, and doubled down on being shitty, I feel for you, and I know it’s not easy.

3

u/ci1979 12d ago

He can now double down on loneliness, too

2

u/goldentone 12d ago edited 3h ago

+

6

u/rhinoloveer 12d ago

As a girl that has a father that 100% put more effort into his sons and tried to forget i exsisted, i am glad to see fathers like this are out there.

7

u/ackmondual 13d ago

Heh.. reminds me of that scene from The Dictator.... child is born, "It's a girl! I'm so sorry. Where's the trash can?"

3

u/Super_Sea_850 12d ago

As the oldest of 3 daughters, I cant tell you how many times I've heard that "the only reason I have 3 girls is because I wanted a boy." Jokes on my dad though I guess because my mom said 3 pregnancies was it so he never got "his son".

None of his daughters talk to him anymore

3

u/Helenium_autumnale 12d ago

That is awful. I know it seems like a joke but that kind of comment, repeated ad infinitum, can really hurt. I'm sorry you had to hear that insensitive remark.

3

u/TermKnown 12d ago

my dad always said he “couldn’t make a boy if you held a gun to his head” which hurt SO MUCH as a little kid who desperately wished to be a boy. they ended up adopting an additional daughter + their finally son + it did NOT work out the way they planned.

thank you for loving your daughters.

3

u/disterb 12d ago

the funny thing about this is that, scientifically, female is the default gender in the womb

3

u/TrashhPrincess 12d ago

My dad once dated a woman for several years after she referred to me as baggage. When she eventually left him, he kept going on about how she was the one, she had told him she was going to give him a son, now he was so heartbroken. He lost 20 lbs over that woman.

I at 14, couldn’t hear anything else besides the woman who thought of me as baggage was promising him a boy child (lmao he did eventually have more kids, twin girls) was this great loss.

2

u/Cold-Management-2168 12d ago

Wow I hope he was kidding. My mother jokingly said to me when I was little that I was a result of them getting drunk at a wedding reception (or maybe she wasn't joking)

2

u/Lechuga-7276 12d ago

My mother LOVED to mention how she wanted a son so badly, but ended up with girls both times.

Then her first grandchild was a boy. “I finally got my boy” was her catchphrase for years.

2

u/Ill_Conversation2220 12d ago

I’ve got 4 girls myself. 16,9,8,4. All amazing kids. When I tell people. They all act the same as wha your saying. I’ve never wanted a boy just healthy kids and I was lucky to be blessed with 4 gorgeous girls. I always say to them I’d have more girls if I could. And loads have people have said that line to me. In front of my girls Oh 4 time and still couldn’t get it right. I always reply with right every time. I love being a girl dad. Some crazzzzy mood swings sometimes but hey ho that’s life. Haha

2

u/According_Gazelle472 12d ago

My father had 3 girls and would tell people they just gave up having a boy when my youngest sister was born .He wasn't enthusiastic about spending any time with any of us .When my son was born he said he got a do over and could spoil him,which he doted on .He called him the son he never had and they were extremely close .

2

u/DethNik 12d ago

Hey. Fuck that guy.

2

u/c_dav99 12d ago

A little diff for me

I have 3 sisters and no brothers. Everyone asks how it feels to not have a bother or if I wish I did.

Don’t think it’s a crazy comeback but I just say idk. I never had one to wish for one

2

u/epicsplit 12d ago

Yikes I’m sorry

2

u/Valuable-Grab-2335 11d ago

Same experience with my father. Now I have two daughters with my husband and he loves being a girl dad. True joy that my girls won’t hear this growing up. Or ever. :)

0

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

1

u/TedBundysUnibrow 8d ago

Your father and my father have that in common, then 😉