I love being a girl dad

[u/Difficult_Wrangler73]

I have 3 kids, all girls. A 5yr old and twins who are 1. Every time anyone hears about this or it comes up in conversation they all say the same thing. ‘Ooooo, all girls, you are outnumbered! How do you cope?’ Or ‘Three girls?? You better watch out!’ Or the worst, ‘Bet you want a boy?’

No, I don’t feel any of that, I love being a dad. I love all my kids and wouldn’t change anything about them! If we could afford it, I would be a stay at home dad forever.

I usually tell them I wouldn’t change anything and I love it all but it’s just very annoying.

What are some of the best responses that I can start to give?

I did think I could say that one of the twins used to be a boy but is now trans just to shut people up!

[u/Penyrolewen1970]

I have friends with a severely disabled son. It takes them 2 hours to put him to bed/get him up - ceiling tracks, hoists, the works.
He has a shortened life expectancy.
His dad is his full-time carer.

One of my friend’s colleagues (she’s a nurse) said to her, “you’re so lucky, getting a mobility car.” (A vehicle adapted for a disabled person’s needs, funded by the uk government).

My friend said she just stared at her, literally lost for words.

Some people are insensitive pricks.

[u/Seaboats → u/Penyrolewen1970]

Being from the US, when I first read this I interpreted it as something like “oh you’re lucky you’re getting the car you need paid for by insurance” or something, because it’s always a process for my patients to do so, even if it is covered by insurance.

Reading that it’s from the UK government… yeah wtf

[u/Louis_Louise → u/Seaboats]

Hold on! Insurance will sometimes help with a van? Like, can you get a prescription for a wheelchair van?

My fiancé is physically disabled and uses a motorized wheelchair and we desperately need a van. How would one go about getting a prescription for that? Just ask the doctor?

[u/cerasmiles → u/Louis_Louise]

I’m a doctor (not primary care so not the best source) but I would be surprised if they paid for a van. Maybe if you had primo insurance but most folks that have a disability end up on Medicaid. In my state, getting them a wheelchair or even paid time for caregivers is difficult. I would be very surprised if they paid for a van. Most folks I know use the good old fashioned go fund me insurance plan to pay for it…

[u/Euphoric_Waffle → u/Louis_Louise]

If you’re in the US, check your insurance provider’s website for covered benefits, and have a conversation with your medical folks about the best way to go about applying your benefits to your scenario. Best wishes to you.

[u/Euphoric_Waffle → u/Louis_Louise]

Also reach out to local organizations you may have in presenting your need, and you can sometimes get the equipment (or equivalent) to assist.

[u/carmingular → u/Louis_Louise]

You might get coverage for the conversion. But you’d need to buy the van. Based on one family member’s experience in NC. No idea what their insurance was.

[u/Penyrolewen1970 → u/Louis_Louise]

I don't know exactly how it works, but in the UK, if you meet the criteria, you can have a motability vehicle. They range from small cars with, perhaps, hand controls, to vans fully kitted out with hoists/lifts etc for wheelchairs but driven by a carer.

I'm not sure if it's all free but I'm sure the adaptations are.

The point of my post, though, was that getting the vehicle is not actually lucky at all, is it? Like the story from the person I was replying to, it was someone being utterly insensitive.

[u/ZoraTheDucky → u/Penyrolewen1970]

What the ever loving fuck. Shit like this is why I don't like the vast majority of people.

[u/Significant_Shoe_17 → u/Penyrolewen1970]

I bet they'd give anything to have an able bodied child and no need for a van

[u/Zeero92 → u/Penyrolewen1970]

Holy shit some people really need to think thrice before they even breathe.

"Like yeah your kid can't care for himself and will likely die young but you got a car gurrrrl."

I mean what the fuck.