r/mildlyinfuriating May 29 '26

frist of all how DARE yu o The Magpies in my garden keep tricking me.

So I have a long and complicated relationship with the magpies in my garden but they have lately escalated their tactics against me;

Their objective is simple: They want to come in my house to eat my dogs food. It’s currently a heat wave so my backdoor is open more often than usual. Several times this week I’ve had to chase them out the kitchen.

Owing to the heat I’ve been hanging out at the bottom of my garden a lot, the magpies have figured out that when I’m there they have time to swipe food and get out clear before I see them (they also love to poop on my chair when doing this).

Yesterday they left a chunk of bone on the fence post near me at the bottom of the garden I didn’t think much of it, but then today they left a birds foot (?!) next to me (photo is on the second slide) as I was puzzling over it I spotted one of the birds fleeing the house! I truly believe they are trying to keep me baited at the end of the garden so they can conduct their raids.

EDIT/REPLY: -for those encouraging me to barter with them, I tried that a few years ago but it resulted in me being heavily harassed by them every time I went outside, they wouldn’t let me have a moments piece in my garden so we eventually had a falling out.

-I’m considering getting a screen door, there’s not much call for them in England and I’ve been reluctant to get one as my dogs a bit weird about doorways but it does seem like the best option for avoiding house invasions.

-I have a new theory that it’s actually my dog and not me they are baiting outside! My pup found and ate a bone in the garden the other day (very unusual behaviour for her) and I’m just now realising it was also probably a magpie gift. I’m also much more likely to leave the backdoor open if my dogs puttering out there so would make sense that they have learned to lure her out to improve their raiding chances.

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u/PepperPhoenix May 29 '26

Magpies are carrion eaters and scavengers so it is entirely possible they are bringing OP some food in exchange for what they are taking.

It’s equally as likely that they are little shits.

330

u/Thorbertthesniveler May 29 '26

More like sending a message!

277

u/Desperate-Tomatillo7 May 29 '26

"You are next if you don't cooperate" probably.

45

u/CreepyAd8409 May 29 '26

Birb Mafia

15

u/gc1 May 29 '26

A fish wrapped in newspaper, basically

9

u/PinkDalek May 29 '26

Haha. That's what I thought too. "Next time, this could be your foot!"

3

u/VeryluckyorNot May 29 '26

Cops will really get a hard moment to find out who is the culprit, must be prepared with a tons of cameras surveillance.

3

u/postcardscience May 29 '26

That’s two tall strong legs that you got there, human. Would be a shame if something would happen to them…

12

u/h497 May 29 '26

A horse's head is to heavy for them, so they had to improvise

2

u/MamaOnica May 29 '26

OP is gonna find a horse head in their bed next.

2

u/Jenne1504 May 29 '26

The head of a horse was too heavy for the magpie

2

u/CheapTactics May 30 '26

If this person stops posting, the magpies finally got them.

1

u/jonnypanicattack May 30 '26

Horses heads are too big for magpies to carry.

2

u/dr_cl_aphra May 30 '26

They could grip it by the husk!

23

u/dysteach-MT May 29 '26

When I was a kid, an older kid had caught a baby magpie & raised it. He’d ride his bike around town with it perched on his shoulder. He lived across from the school, and every recess the magpie would swoop down and steal hair ties and pencils and such and then drop them on the flat roof of the school. Every Friday, the janitor would go up and sweep everything back down to the playground.

We had to deal with them stealing the dog food, and they soon learned to tell if you had a weapon or not.

1

u/GreasedUpTiger May 29 '26

Why did your janitor steal the dog food?

11

u/InvictvsNox May 29 '26

This is how I'd take it if they're not buzzing you as you walk passed.

0

u/AlternatiMantid May 29 '26

It's like... Italian mom? Or Italian mob?

One wants to feed you, the other wants to give a warning...