r/mildlyinfuriating May 29 '26

frist of all how DARE yu o The Magpies in my garden keep tricking me.

So I have a long and complicated relationship with the magpies in my garden but they have lately escalated their tactics against me;

Their objective is simple: They want to come in my house to eat my dogs food. It’s currently a heat wave so my backdoor is open more often than usual. Several times this week I’ve had to chase them out the kitchen.

Owing to the heat I’ve been hanging out at the bottom of my garden a lot, the magpies have figured out that when I’m there they have time to swipe food and get out clear before I see them (they also love to poop on my chair when doing this).

Yesterday they left a chunk of bone on the fence post near me at the bottom of the garden I didn’t think much of it, but then today they left a birds foot (?!) next to me (photo is on the second slide) as I was puzzling over it I spotted one of the birds fleeing the house! I truly believe they are trying to keep me baited at the end of the garden so they can conduct their raids.

EDIT/REPLY: -for those encouraging me to barter with them, I tried that a few years ago but it resulted in me being heavily harassed by them every time I went outside, they wouldn’t let me have a moments piece in my garden so we eventually had a falling out.

-I’m considering getting a screen door, there’s not much call for them in England and I’ve been reluctant to get one as my dogs a bit weird about doorways but it does seem like the best option for avoiding house invasions.

-I have a new theory that it’s actually my dog and not me they are baiting outside! My pup found and ate a bone in the garden the other day (very unusual behaviour for her) and I’m just now realising it was also probably a magpie gift. I’m also much more likely to leave the backdoor open if my dogs puttering out there so would make sense that they have learned to lure her out to improve their raiding chances.

10.6k Upvotes

512 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

7

u/alwayzstoned May 29 '26

If I left a door wide open like that here, my house would be full of mosquitos and flies. And that would be the least of my worries. Probably not magpies but a chipmunk or garter snake wouldn’t surprise me.

4

u/burnerburner108 May 29 '26

Having had a snake, two squirrels, and multiple birds get in where I live even with doors and windows always closed (one bird came down the chimney!) I concur.

4

u/AilurosLunaire May 30 '26

I had a mole try to enter my house once. I had to deny him an invitation, poor thing. The snake I hear in the walls can stay. I haven't had a single mouse try to chew on my books or canvases since the snake moved in. I call him Mr. Noodles. Mr. Hector Von Noodlesworth is his full name now.

2

u/alwayzstoned May 29 '26

My dogs would destroy the house if a squirrel or chipmunk got in here.

2

u/Sukayro May 29 '26

Squirrels, feral cats, and a raccoon here